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Well, she is certainly Lavender. She doesn't look 100% English to me, but younger birds can be a bit difficult to tell type on. I don't like that the breeder seems to think any issue with her birds results from something you're doing. That doesn't sit right with me.
English Lavender birds are very uncommon. The original Lavenders in the US came from an old member here, hinkjc (Charlie)
Lavender Orpington Project. So unless they descended from English imports, it's very common for them not to have the characteristics we expect to see in English lines. For example:
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This is a breeder online, Hill Top Farms. They advertise all of these birds as English. Obviously the photos aren't the best and some, like the Jubilee cockerel aren't matured, it's very obvious the type of that Lavender bird doesn't look the same as the Mottled and Silver-laced birds for example. She might look better than the garbage the hatcheries produce, but she's not English.
These birds:
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from Carolina Rare Chicks are very English. The type is obvious.
I do raise Lavender English, but my first generation isn't old enough to breed yet so I can't speak to her development and gauging whether or not she's English. I got mine older than that. And with the heat we've had in Texas they aren't as feathered as I'd expect them to be. I will tag
@Faraday40 who raises English Lavender to see what she thinks.
In the mean time, do you have pictures of the breeder's breeders?