Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by JanieMarie, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. JanieMarie

    JanieMarie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Aug 26, 2008
    Georgetown, Minnesota
    Got a good laugh out of this and thought you all might enjoy it too! [​IMG]

    The 2008 Rendition of....
    Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
    (warning... political humor abounds)

    BARACK OBAMA:
    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MCCAIN:
    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON:
    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    of the chicken crossing the road..

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
    It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    GRANDPA:
    (** this is my personal favorite**)
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough!

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    life long dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road .

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@ &&^(C%......... reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON:
    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
     
  2. OccamsTazer

    OccamsTazer Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 2, 2009
    Tuscaloosa, AL
    ...because a car was coming.






    Not a big fan of chicken brains, here :p
     
  3. Boyd

    Boyd Recipient of The Biff Twang

    Mar 14, 2009
    MI
    why did the turtle cross the road?

    To get to the shell station [​IMG]
     
  4. Goose and Fig

    Goose and Fig Grateful Geese

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    Fall Creek Falls TN
    I've seen that- too funny. Makes me want to add a few to the list [​IMG]
     
  5. rebelcowboysnb

    rebelcowboysnb Confederate Money Farm

    Squak..... thump thump. FAIL [​IMG]
     
  6. JanieMarie

    JanieMarie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Aug 26, 2008
    Georgetown, Minnesota
    Keep me laughing guys!! [​IMG]
     
  7. farmin'chick

    farmin'chick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 13, 2009
    Rocky Mount VA
    I asked 3 of my chickens that VERY SAME THING today while they were standing on the other side of the road....they said, "What? You mean, this isn't OUR side of the road? The dirt tastes the same!"
     
  8. M To The Maxx

    M To The Maxx Baseball+Girls=Life

    Jul 24, 2009
    Lutz,FL
    I like how you did all the quotes from different people. [​IMG]
     
  9. smileyfacecat

    smileyfacecat Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 24, 2009
    Wrentham, MA
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Very Funny!

    While reading this, I couldn't help but use their dialogue/accents/mannerisms. [​IMG]
     
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    Love it!... [​IMG]
     

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