Why is it so hard to talk to my teacher? *New plan*

[Beekissed]

I can't see any inappropriate statements made by this teacher. Pregnancy isn't a dirty thing, only to be discussed with adults of the same sex. It is a beautiful thing and a fact of life. Most freshmen in high school have heard some pretty raw things by that age....I'm sure hearing that the prospective child doesn't like BBQ is not a big shocker.....

kargo, it is not weird to be intrigued about someone new and kind in a classroom setting, teacher or student. Especially if she is going through something of which you are curious. Books are nice and can teach you a few of the facts, but it's not inappropriate to introduce yourself, establish a rapport and ask a few discreet questions.

I bet this lady would love to educate you on what you need to know....how it feels to be carrying a child. I'm just sorry that you feel awkward talking to your mom about this...those kind of discussions can be so sweet and special with your mom.

 

[kargo]

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Exactly! With some of the stuff we already know, I don't think knowing that our teacher is pregnant and hearing the occassionally detail will absolutely kill us.

I did do something today of which I was very proud. I walked up to her before class and asked her how her weekend was.

It's not much of a big deal, but hey, it was a start. It shows interest and that I care, right?

You think so? I'm really not sure. I have it stuck in my mind that if I ask a question, I'll say something totally stupid and she'll despise me for the rest of high school..

Being politely up front is the best way to proceed through this tough life. As her, politely. Accept her answer.

Huh?​

 

[bantiesrule]

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CONGRATULATIONS! I myself was a very shy teenager and what seems a little step to some, can be very huge to someone else.
About the note for your Mom, it might be the way to start talking to her about this and other things, hopefully you can get closer to her discusing many things. My Mom and I didn't talk much about things like that either but I had 5 older sisters that were easier for me to talk to. Maybe you have an aunt or older cousin you could talk to also?
You could also try giving a note to your teacher, explain that you're too shy to bring the subject up and have trouble with your brain freezing up when you try to talk about some things. Tell her you are interested in her pregnancy and have a few questions. Maybe list one or two on the letter. Making a list of any others will help you remember what else you want to learn about and help you when your mouth just won't work. Hopefully once you get started, you won't have any trouble remembering but it always helps to organize your thoughts and write them down. Ask her when would be a good time for the two of you to talk. Do you have a classmate that is also interested in her pregnancy? Maybe if you could find someone to go with and start the ball rolling might help.

 

[kargo]

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CONGRATULATIONS! I myself was a very shy teenager and what seems a little step to some, can be very huge to someone else.
About the note for your Mom, it might be the way to start talking to her about this and other things, hopefully you can get closer to her discusing many things. My Mom and I didn't talk much about things like that either but I had 5 older sisters that were easier for me to talk to. Maybe you have an aunt or older cousin you could talk to also?
You could also try giving a note to your teacher, explain that you're too shy to bring the subject up and have trouble with your brain freezing up when you try to talk about some things. Tell her you are interested in her pregnancy and have a few questions. Maybe list one or two on the letter. Making a list of any others will help you remember what else you want to learn about and help you when your mouth just won't work. Hopefully once you get started, you won't have any trouble remembering but it always helps to organize your thoughts and write them down. Ask her when would be a good time for the two of you to talk. Do you have a classmate that is also interested in her pregnancy? Maybe if you could find someone to go with and start the ball rolling might help.

Thanks.

No. I do not have much contact with either side of my family.

The note to Mrs. W is a great idea! I would love to. The problem is that I wouldn't even know where to begin. I am also very, very afraid. I could write up a note and be so afraid I'd never print it, much less give it to her. I have a friend who really likes her, and is probably also slightly curious. Perhaps I could get her to stay with me to talk one day. I'm not sure. I'd have to explain to my mom first, and then I'd have to deal with trying to figure out what to say to Mrs. W. I'm petrified. (Obviously.) I do think it owuld be better for us to talk (I hope, anyway) than for me to just keep quiet and wonder.

I did go by her classroom after school today with my mom. We didn't get into the whole pregnancy thing, but she did say that she loved having me in class and that I'm a very good writer and storyteller.

Then we got into homecoming court. She was very excited for me.

For some reaosn, every time she looked at me I had to drop eye contact or look away. I felt really awkward. Maybe it was because my mom was there. *shrug* I am really excited for later, though. I thought maybe I would get her a card (maybe even a small present) as a baby shower gift-thing. I don't know. Students aren't typically invited to teachers' baby showers, are they? Oh well. I'd understand. I still think it would be kind of cool to get her a little card or something.

Appropriate or not?

I've noticed that I often get nevous around her. I have many student-teacher friendships, and I have two other teachers that I am somewhere around as fond of as I am of Mrs. W. I have never had trouble talking to any of them. Then again, none of them have ben pregnant while I have had them as teachers. Could this be my problem? Is it possible that I am so curious that I am actually a little nervous around her? Maybe it's that I'm afraid of saying doing the wrong thing constantly?

It's a long story that I don't have time to tell all of now, but today my friend and I ended up sititng at the faculty table and we were the only two students. We were not in trouble. I noticed, though, that I felt very nervous. Again, I felt nervous when we went by after school.

She does appear to like me, so I'm starting to think if only I could get up the courage to talk to her, she might not mind a few careful questions.

 

[Boyd]

sounds like a plan to me Kargo

 

[kargo]

I've been doing a little bit of looking up and researching tonight, and it seems that many actions/ body language statements I exhibit when I am in a small group or interacting directly with Mrs. W display nervousness. I wodner if she knows? Come to think of it, sometimes I do feel nervous around her, and I have no clue why.

I do think I would love to go with the present/ card/ gift thing for her later in the year. I'm still not sure whether or not it's appropriate, though...I think it'd be fine, but I'm not sure.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I think a little card and small gift would be perfectly acceptable. When my 5 and 6 grade teacher was going to have a baby, my mom and I went out to get her a gift. My mom was sort of close to her though, but there was nothing odd about a little gift. After all, she was an excellent teacher!

Some people are just more shy than others. I can be shy sometimes, but I'm pretty good about hiding that fact that I might be. However, I have other friends who are just naturally very submissive people. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I wish you the best of luck in getting to know your teacher. Don't stress out about it though. A teacher will not hate you because you ask a "stupid" question. In fact, most of them love being asked just about any question. It shows that you value their advice and look up to them. (Of course, I've known people to be just downright rude when asking questions, but I doubt that will ever be the case with you!)

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Another thing I just thought of-

If you really have a lot of questions about pregnancy and can't quite bring yourself to ask your teacher, I'm sure the expecting moms of BYC would be happy to answer. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you either posted your questions or PMed one of them. SOmetimes its easier to ask questions when you are sitting behind a computer screen!

 

[babylady4]

First of all I'll tell you what I tell my kids; there is no such thing as a 'stupid' question. There are questions that should be more thought out before asking, but are they stupid? No. Never be afraid to ask questions, this is how we learn. And of course, question everything that is presented to you until you understand it completely!

Take a deep breath, relax, this is your teacher, she is there to educate so she will be able to address your concerns and questions appropriately. Of course there is support in numbers so if you could have your friend with you by all means have her be there.

I know how you feel with your mom, I would never have been able to ask my mom any of this either.....

 

[kargo]

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Finally! Someone who understands...

Today, my friend Ashley and I had a long, indepth conversation about my awkwardness around Mrs. W. As it turns out, after many quizzes on body language and feelings, she seems to feel awkward and be nervous around Mrs. W, too. It's odd, though, because she is our favorite teacher. It seems weird that we should be so nervou around her. She is such a nice woman. We are starting to wonder if perhaps, in a bit of a twisted way, the reason we are feeling so very nervous is because Mrs. W is pregnant. We are not sure what fact about that would make us feel nervous around her, but we do notice things that have lead us to believe this could be our answer.

Anyhow, some of the things that we are doing areJust me for this one)random shaking of the head (I only do this when I feel nervous, and it's not always around Mrs. W), playing with hair, suddenly looking down or away when she makes eye contact (after a while of watching her intently and paying close attention), (me) occassional inability to form a coherent sentence, sweating hands, shaking slightly, high voices...that isn't all, but it's an idea. We really do like her, but there's no denying that we get nervous around her (I bleieve I get more so than Ashley.)

Funny thing is, it seems that Mrs. W gets nervous/excited in front of the whole class, too. It's like our situation in reverse. She sometimes says random things about herself and the baby, or ocassionally just really random things in general. Evidently, in Ashley's class, just today, she said something like, "I think the baby is," *insert gesture here* "here, because it hurts." At least, that's basically what Ashley told me she said. I wonder if perhaps, as someone suggested earlier, she is giving off some of her nervous energy to us? She does not seem to intend for us to have a Pregnancy/English 1 class, but it does kind of come up quite a bit in the small amount of free time she sometimes allows us. Either she brings it up, or we do. Am I totally off target, or is it really possible that she's just as nervous as we are?

Ashley and I were talking today, and she would really like a visit after school with Mrs. White to talk about the whole pregnancy/two extremely nervous students thing, too. She is just as afraid as I am, though, and, sadly, it is unlikely that we will end up doing it because we are so afraid. I do hope that perhaps we can use each other to help, and we arrange a totally non-inappropriate discussion, and everybody will feel better afterwards.