Whyre kids so NERVE WRACKING!?!?!?!?!

[SarahBeth9394]

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i can understand...i would be saying the same thing! its better to get it out of your system and get it off your chest rather than direct it at your child.

The thing is the child is still unable to understand that we don't chase the chicks so it falls on the adult to protect the chicks. But the adult didn't and instead of being upset at herself for not keeping the child out of chickens pen she got angry at the child regardless of whether or not she directed it at the child. We do know that in her own words she isn't taking her personal responsibility and is laying it on a child who she knows isn't capable to understand yet. The anger should be directed at herself.

 

[agnes_day]

i think 4 is old enough..my little girl will be 4 next week and she knows not to ever pick one up unless i tell her to do so. if she were to go ahead and disobey me, i would probably be upset too and say something similar. its sad..some days i think she minds better than her brothers!

 

[Picky Chicky]

Just my two cents... (and I'm fading off topic - I completely agree that kids are nerve wracking.. but I saw someone mention the "kids aren't bad" and I just had to respond - and just in case I absolutely adore the person who said it)

In my most humbled opinion... I disagree with the mainstream parenting tactics. I think it's a load of

When I had my daughter I swore I would stick to tactics like:

Time outs instead of spankings
She's not a bad girl, she's just making poor choices or what she did was wrong
Ask them to use their "inside voice" vs. telling them to hush up. (I don't say shut up)
Try and speak to them on "their level" and ask them what they're feeling... instead of being the alpha and taking control of the situation.

I know I sound pretty bitter and hopefully I don't upset anyone who successfully uses these tactics to "build their child's self esteem", but I think in this day and age things have gone way down hill and are too 'mamsy pamsy".

All of that being said, I am certain I sound like I'm a complete barbarion at home, but we're not. We do practice time outs but if she is acting up and her behavior is really bad (see.. she's not bad, her behavior is) or she could hurt herself - by golly she's getting a solid swat on her rearend. And before the paranoids getting any bright ideas, no we don't beat her. We rarely have to spank her. We tell her to be quiet or shush - sometimes we tell her to lower her voice. If she's sad/angry/shy I might ask her why she is sad/angry/shy but I will talk to her as a mother. I don't dumb things down for her and she has an exceptional vocabulary (and I'm not talk a filthy vocabulary either). If she says a bad word she has to lick a (fresh/new) bar of soap. If we go too easy on her, she's the headstrong type kid that would walk all over us.

One of my favorite things to do though... after she gets into trouble, or I'm mad at her, or vice versa.. when things cool down we always hug and I make sure she knows how much I love her - no matter what.

 

[baldie]

People say things they don't mean, it happens quite often. I am pretty sure she was upset at herself also. But I have a 4 yr old also. And he knows right from wrong, especially when something is said over and over. Which is why she was so upset. Kids will be kids. I am pretty sure she was just venting and was hoping that some of her FRIENDS would read it. I am pretty sure she did not want to start something like this over it. If this was posted 6 months ago, it would probably not have turned into such a big thing as it is. It seems like everyone is miserable lately and looking for a fight. And everyone parents differently. And no-one is perfect. And if anyone thinks they are, I would love to meet them!!

 

[baldie]

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Good post. That is one of the most important things is that in the end of all of it, they know that you love them.

 

[jonathansenn]

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Good post. That is one of the most important things is that in the end of all of it, they know that you love them.

As a teacher, I can tell you kids want discipline. they want to know where the boundaries are. It makes them feel safe. they know when parents will "rescue them" If there are no boundaries, they are very insecure and keep going in the wrong direction trying to find the boundary.

 

[CoopCrazy]

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Good post. That is one of the most important things is that in the end of all of it, they know that you love them.

Ditto

 

[HennysMom]

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Sweetie pie..I'm right with ya...

and I understand where you're coming from, absolutely 100%. I'm so not my kids "friend" I am their parent and...a swat on the backside once in a while never hurt a kid, trust me.

You should see the fits my 10 y/o throws

including the toys, that eventually end up in the bag and put away - and yes..sometimes.. *gasp* I might even yell BACK at him

I love ya!

 

[hennypenny9]

I have no kids, and I used to be one of those "the kid could be good, but the parents aren't doing their job" annoying people. That was before I met this 3 year old. He has the best parents a kid could have. They sit behind us at bible study. He is a GOOD kid, who does NOT good things. He gets taken to the bathroom, and is quiet when he's brought back. I've seen him in other places, and it's the same story. But I can see that slowly but surely, the parents efforts are paying off. He now always says "please" and "thank you", when he didn't before. They never let up. No, they're not super strict. Just consistent.

So I guess I have no point, since I don't have kids. But I know that I'm a bit more humble, and wouldn't dream of commenting on your kid. Maybe some sort of lock on the gate? At least until the babies are older?

 

[Picky Chicky]

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Absolutely!

Our DD has a condition called PANDAS and (long story, but the short of it is that she has a lot of meltdowns at school because of it)... we (the school and us) have made absolutely sure that DD doesn't get paired up with weak and nicey nicey teachers - she'd walk all over them. I'm not asking them to pair her up with Hitler, but she does so much better with a teacher that has a strong personality and is extremely firm - knowing how to set those boundaries.