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The way I see it, it's her problem if she wants to freak out over something I am not freaked out about. I know what you're saying, the less she knows the less she can freak. But if she wants to be in my life and asks what's new, I'll tell her. I'm almost 40, I'm a big girl and I've survived just fine so far. She stopped after I clearly said "Look, I'm fine, I'm not traumatized, this isn't that big of a deal". If she wants to go sit by herself and suspect otherwise, that's her issue. We had a falling out a few years back because of her alarmist attitude and we didn't speak for 2 years. I went to visit a cousin of mine, I told her I was going away to see him for a few days, and that I would call her when I got back. I actually even called her when I got there too, to let her know I was fine (it was a few states away, long drive). So I proceeded to visit with my cousin and she kept texting me asking what was going on. Then she started calling my cousins' house. I was very annoyed because I was only gone for a few days, and I saw NO reason why she should be checking up on me that obsessively. Then my EX husband called. We had just separated and not under good terms, so I was concerned why he would be calling and answered my cell phone. He said "You better call Aunt ----, she's flipping out, she called me at work and thinks you might be dead in a ditch somewhere". I was LIVID. Absolutely livid. My aunt knew the separation was messy, so for her to be calling him because she couldn't get me herself was infuriating. I yelled at her (only time I've ever raised my voice to her) and said "I'm a grown woman, I do not need you checking up on me or contacting me at someone elses' house, and I certainly don't need you calling my estranged husband trying to track me down. There's no reason to think I am dead, and I do not owe you any explanation as to what I am doing" and hung up. We went two years without speaking.
We reconciled later, and I explained how insulting it was, and so now she treads a little more carefully. She still thinks I was the irrational one in that scenario and I think it was her. So now when she starts up with her drama, or overly worrying about me, I politely remind her I don't want to hear it and she stops. Yeah, I suppose I could just not tell her things, but I really believe that if she wants to be in my life, SHE is going to have to make adjustments in her reactions, not me. I just refuse to change anything about how I live or interact with people based on THEIR issues.
Oh, and by the way, Trash Guy is gone! I guess you didn't see my update on him, it's in this thread. I'll see if I can find what post # it is.
Trash Guy Update is Post# 171.
The way I see it, it's her problem if she wants to freak out over something I am not freaked out about. I know what you're saying, the less she knows the less she can freak. But if she wants to be in my life and asks what's new, I'll tell her. I'm almost 40, I'm a big girl and I've survived just fine so far. She stopped after I clearly said "Look, I'm fine, I'm not traumatized, this isn't that big of a deal". If she wants to go sit by herself and suspect otherwise, that's her issue. We had a falling out a few years back because of her alarmist attitude and we didn't speak for 2 years. I went to visit a cousin of mine, I told her I was going away to see him for a few days, and that I would call her when I got back. I actually even called her when I got there too, to let her know I was fine (it was a few states away, long drive). So I proceeded to visit with my cousin and she kept texting me asking what was going on. Then she started calling my cousins' house. I was very annoyed because I was only gone for a few days, and I saw NO reason why she should be checking up on me that obsessively. Then my EX husband called. We had just separated and not under good terms, so I was concerned why he would be calling and answered my cell phone. He said "You better call Aunt ----, she's flipping out, she called me at work and thinks you might be dead in a ditch somewhere". I was LIVID. Absolutely livid. My aunt knew the separation was messy, so for her to be calling him because she couldn't get me herself was infuriating. I yelled at her (only time I've ever raised my voice to her) and said "I'm a grown woman, I do not need you checking up on me or contacting me at someone elses' house, and I certainly don't need you calling my estranged husband trying to track me down. There's no reason to think I am dead, and I do not owe you any explanation as to what I am doing" and hung up. We went two years without speaking.
We reconciled later, and I explained how insulting it was, and so now she treads a little more carefully. She still thinks I was the irrational one in that scenario and I think it was her. So now when she starts up with her drama, or overly worrying about me, I politely remind her I don't want to hear it and she stops. Yeah, I suppose I could just not tell her things, but I really believe that if she wants to be in my life, SHE is going to have to make adjustments in her reactions, not me. I just refuse to change anything about how I live or interact with people based on THEIR issues.
Oh, and by the way, Trash Guy is gone! I guess you didn't see my update on him, it's in this thread. I'll see if I can find what post # it is.
Trash Guy Update is Post# 171.
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