Worst cooking experience

[darkmatter]

When I was first married, I had been making yeast breads and sourdough from time to time. One day while I was at work, my wife decided to surprise me with cinnamon rolls. (She's of Irish descent, you know--potato bread/falls etc.) She followed the recipe which said to dissolve the yeast in warm water first---so she thought if warm is good, hot is better-----I had hockey pucks for supper! Hah!, I still can make pie crust better to this day and sourdough breads.

 

[4 luv of eggs]

Thanks everyone for the great stories. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Please keep the stories coming.

When my daughter was 4, I started baking pies since someone gave my husband a bag of golden delicious apples from their tree. A friend of ours worked for a spice company and brought me a big bag of cinnamon....the good stuff. I immediately decided to bake an apple pie. I was never one for measuring spices and since I had so much of this cinnamon, I put a whole bunch in the pie. I mean that the pie was brown with cinnamon.

After it was baked, my daughter begged for a piece so she got the illustrious first slice. Practically as soon as the first slice was in her mouth, her tongue shot out and deposited the half chewed mess back on the plate. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Mommy, that pie hurts". I never thought that cinnamon could have as much heat as Ceylon cinnamon and I had probably put 1/4 cup in that pie. Into the trash it went.

 

[ranchhand]

We kind of have a code around here- it's called "Don't make this again". Rather subtle, ya know....

I have a new bread machine- so far, I have made two very popular "flock blocks".

I reckon it's time to actually follow a recipe!

Once many years ago, in college, up late studying with BF and his roommates. He wanted coffee, and I, being eager to please, offered to make it. All they had was ONE teaspoonfull of instant coffee in the house. Boiled water, added the last bit of coffee, big spoonfull of the white granulated stuff next to the coffee jar. Proudly carried it to BF. Who promptly spewed it all over.

We're married now, and to this day he doesn't drink coffee. Especially not with SALT in it!

 

[Judy]

Quote:
Chicken noodle casserole without the chicken, on the other hand, passed muster, due to the canned cream of chicken soup. None of us realized it until we found the chicken in the refrig.

 

[wolftracks]

I'm a good cook. Started with choclate pudding at age 4. Before moving to California we lived with my stepdad's great Grandmother in Littleton Colorado.
I wanted pudding, but my grandma and mom were watching soaps and my mom was feeding my new baby brother. They told me to wait and they'd make pudding.
I used to help in the kitchen all the time. My grandmothers were great cooks and so was my mom. You learned to do things young.
Well the soaps were going to long for me, so I went in the kitchen and made it myself. They smelled something scourched and ran in. I got sent to bed and then my mom came in and told me the dangers of doing what I did.
I got taken in the kitchen and the three of us sat down and ate my scourched pudding together. It wasn't completely distroyed, but it wasn't that good. They told me some day I'd be a good cook and didn't critisize my attempt. I told them I'd do better the next time and as they smiled I told them "tomorrow, just watch your soaps, I can handle the cooking."

 

[4 luv of eggs]

Shortly after we were married, a friend of ours invited us over for an after Thanksgiving dinner Thanksgiving dinner. Being trusting souls, we accepted. We arrived in the afternoon and dinner was served soon thereafter. How was I to know that he had never cooked a turkey in his life? It looked beautiful, all golden brown but we soon saw the neck sticking out of the body cavity. He laughed it off and the giblet package was discovered next. We sat down while he carved at the table.

From where I sat, I had the view up the empty body cavity and with each slice I could see blood oozing into it. I watched this for a minute, losing my appetite with each slice and then kicked my husband under the table. I head motioned to the turkey and mouthed "just watch". When he caught on to all the seepage he asked our friend how long he cooked the turkey, that was probably about 15 pounds. He had only cooked it for two hours, just enough to brown the bird. We didn't eat alot of turkey that night.

 

[Happy Chooks]

Quote:
I did that too. My family laughed for years after that.

I once tried to make a log cake. I was so proud of myself (I was about 20 at the time). Pulled it out of the oven and it looked great! Let it cool, like the recipe said. Then it said to roll the cake up in a towel. As I attempted to roll it, it would go THUNK and break, THUNK and break. The darn thing went in the trash and I have never tried to make a log cake again.

 

[jbowyer01]

I was a newly wed and had never really been taught how to cook so I watched cooking shows. Knowing how much my DH loved fish I thought I'd try to attempt something I'd seen on one of the shows.I carefully seasoned the fish and wrapped it in foil and just like the show had done. I then placed it in the dishwasher on the top rack to steam the fish (I know strange but it looked great on the show!) what they neglected to say to a new wife that was trying to save time on the chores was DO NOT DO THE DISHES AND ADD SOAP while attempting the new fangled way of cooking. You should have seen my DH's face when he took a bite. Soap is not a spice and 23 years later he still teases me about it.

 

[Ema]

I decided one day to make home made pizza, dough and all, well after the dough was done I put all the ingredients on top and placed it in the oven, at the allotted time I went to take a look at it and the pizza had risen like a balloon. the cheese was everywhere and my kitchen was full of smoke. I took the pizza out and after several minutes it deflated. my Dh laughed and my then 3yr Dd asked me what it was.

Dh said well we can try it anyhow, but when I went to cut it it was so soggy form all the fresh vegies I had used that it was just plainly gross. Not even the dogs would touch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in fact our oldest dog looked at it and whined and then walked away.



When I was a teenager my dad decided to make a stew, well he was watching baseball and forgot all about the stew. He then realized he had been cooking and shut off the heat. It looked fine but once he served it in the deep bowls and we were all sitting at the table something bubbled up to the top of my bowl and just stayed there floating....it looked liek a fish eye. We grew up in a strict family where dinner table manners where the law, none of us wanted to say anything and my dad was just staring at us. So I took a spoonful and was about to eat it when my dad started laughing. He said lets go out for tacos. Once the bowl was on the counter I asked them, what the heck was that in my bowl, and he said a burnt chickpea, but it sure looked like a fish eye. We were kind of relieved we didn't have to eat that!!


In college, my dad allowed my friend to move in and rent my older brothers room, one day my dad took me and my siblings out for a game of pool and some appetizers at the pub down the street. We thought this was pretty cool cause dad never ever did something of this sort. When we went back home we smelled something burning and ran to the kitchen, my friend was standing in the kitchen with a burnt pot, and I mean black!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we asked her what int he world she had burned...her answer................water!! she was trying to boil water and didn't know how (this, takes the cake) my dad made her sign a letter that pretty much said she would never ever touch the stove. in return my dad always made sure there was left overs int he fridge or quick meals in the freezer!!!!!!!!!

 

[Happy Chooks]

Quote:
OMG I'm sorry, but I'm laughing my butt off. Nice "Flock Block"!