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You might be a redneck if ...

Wolf,
I'M the one that cuts 'em.
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He says I cut straighter.
 
We are pretty sure we are rednecks. My mom has a birthday supper for all of us kids and her grandkids about 3 times a year combining all of our birthdays in 3 get togethers....and the main dish is usually squirrel or rabbit....my kids call it the "rodent-fest"....but there is nothing better than squirrel gravy...
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When you use an old car as a chicken coop.
When you have to build the turkeys a yard down the back because they steal the washing off the clothesline.
When your clothesline's strung up amongst the trees.
When you have visitors they have to be told that "duck" means duck under the flying duck that's about to collide with the back of their head.

You know your mum's a redneck when the neighbors dog gets too close to her chickens so she runs through the yard at 6 in the morning in her pyjamas throwing coconuts at it.
Or when one brother is digging a hole with a metal pipe and the other one dives in to save a worm, gets his head split open and Mum bandages it with a stocking.

You know your Dad and uncles are rednecks when Dad gets thrown through the bedroom wall, ends up in the kitchen cupboard and then they move the piano infront of the hole so that their Dad won't know. 40 years on he still hadn't found out.

You know your doctors a redneck when your Dad's rib pops out through the skin and he uses duc tape to put it back in place.
 
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That doesn't make you a redneck. It just means you think for yourself and choose to not have your children indoctrinated. I'll bet you're the type to cling to your Bible and guns too.
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Quote:
That doesn't make you a redneck. It just means you think for yourself and choose to not have your children indoctrinated. I'll bet you're the type to cling to your Bible and guns too.
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Would never cling to my bible I'm to busy thumping it. Now clinging to my gun is different I have such a hard time deciding which one to hug...
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