You might be a redneck if ...

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
Or at least to the bus stop!

 

[gritsar]

You have at least one circa 1950s pick up truck on your property somewhere?


We got rid of one. Still have another, but at least it's at the other end of the farm where I don't have to see it every day.

 

[thechickenchick]

There are more cars parked on your property that don't run, than those that do!

 

[thechickenchick]

OK I just got back from walking to the mail box. Its about a mile round trip, as I walk up to my house I notice something that truly says redneck!

Behind our single wide trailer that we call home is an old fifth wheel camper my DH had long before I came around. The door is chained open for, are you ready?, a dog house! Yep! Thats right, complete with bed and doggy cushions! Even more redneck, the back end of the camper was cut out so he could haul a king size bed from Alaska to Montana! I guess you just can't buy a good bed in Montana!!

 

[mamagardener]

you know your children are rednecks...
when a neighbor calls to tell you they saw a raccoon during the day heading towards your yard and your kids (8 and 11) grab the b.b. gun and run outside.

 

[michickenwrangler]

If you do all your Christmas shopping at a gas station

 

[Bluegem]

When the extension on your house has the floor from bowling alley lanes as a wall and cobwebs for a ceiling.

When the plumber's putting in the pipes for the bathroom in and finds a hen laying an egg in the cupboard.

When you read redneck jokes and then start looking around your house and yard for signs that you may be a redneck and you find plenty of them.

 

[GaNewChick]

If your chicken leaves you an egg a day in the bed of a 1979 Chevy that sits in your driveway and gets cranked every 3 months AND another one leaves you an egg a day under a non-working lawnmower that sits on the back of your property.

 

[BaronRenfrew]

you're a redneck if:

....you stop the lawnmower to catch grasshoppers for your birds

.... you refuse to fill in the potholes in your drive way to keep visitors from driving too fast

.... Jehovah's witnesses show up and you throw them a pair of gloves because there's another load of hay in the back field

.... you can't remember the last time you took a walk through your woods without holding a chainsaw or a shotgun

.... the truck that's no longer roadworthy is still farmworthy

.... your rooster doesn't wake you up but does wake up anybody else who stays the night

.... its special garbage day in town and you fill up your car with stuff

.... you see a mouse in the kitchen and watch it with amusement before setting up a trap (true story, the mouse took a piece of burnt toast from the chicken scraps pot, and pulled it up the brick wall, and tried for half an hour to pull it into the mousehole above the doorframe)

... your neighbour is parked in your driveway with a .22 after a groundhog, and you wave as you drive by

.... you tell stories about how your momma saved a nearly drowned newborn calf that fell though the ice into the pond by dragging it into the kitchen and giving it brandy

.... your nieghbour sees you biking home from school, and stops to say "throw your bike in the back and grab a beer, I'll drive you home" (ah the 80's)

.... drinkin and drivin was no big deal, they just slapped the horse and he took you home

.... when you prefer to "water the garden" than use the toilet

.... when you know what a black bear smells like

.... when you actually killed something and ate it (instead of it coming in a package)

 

[barred-rocks-rock]

you might be a hillbily when you went to the zoo and every time you saw a bird you said " hey theirs a chicke.., oh wait, thats a toucan.