A Chicken-Owner's Life

[Buff Hooligans]

The following was written and posted on BYC by JennsPeeps last September.
She gave me permission to post it again - it's too good to let go to the archives without another look:



A chronicle of a Sunday in the life of a suburban chicken farmer:

7a - Get out of bed and let the 4 chickens out of the coop before even going to the bathroom. Check for first egg: none. Sigh deeply.

8a-10a - Read newspaper. Ahh... quiet time.

10a - Check out cell phone upgrade options at Verizon store. Realize that the sales clerk and I, though seeming to both be native speakers of English, cannot communicate.

11a - Go home and order new cell phone from Verizon's website.

11:30a - Mow the lawn. Instead of leaving the cut grass on the lawn, rake it up and throw it into the chicken run for them to scratch in for environment enrichment.

12p - Trim the neighbor's out-of-control grape vine. Hide grapes in the pile of grass in the coop for environment enrichment. Save extra grapes for chickens later in the week.

1p - Clean the coop. Change water, add feed. Check for eggs again in vain.

2p - Trim the lilac tree so that it doesn't hit the power wires and burn down the house of People Who Bring Food.

3p - Take a snack to the back yard to sit outside and enjoy the weather.

3:03p - Go get another piece of bread after first piece is stolen. Consider eating inside.

3:15p - Throw away the rotting pumpkin that chickens won't touch but that people swore the chooks would love.

3:30p - Trim the apple tree. Put branches in chicken run for environment enrichment. Throw away apples that chickens or humans won't eat.

4p - Pick the ripe cherry tomatoes. Fend off interested chickens.

4:15p - Scrub out rubber garbage can in order to have clean place to store 2 different brands of 50-pound bags of chicken feed. Curse chicken that wouldn't eat the new brand.

5p - Prepare dinner.

5:15-6p - Practice my violin.

6p - Eat dinner. Take some leftovers out to the 4 resident velociraptors. Withdraw arm quickly.

7p - Lock chooks in the coop.

7:30p - Mop floor upon discovery that chickens have visited the house at some point during the day.

7:40p - Re-mop floor after DBF walks on it.

8-10p - Fold laundry while watching "Heros".

10p - To bed



.

 

[NGT ANGL]

That is just too funny and TOO true!!!

 

[Camelot Farms]

"6p - Eat dinner. Take some leftovers out to the 4 resident velociraptors. Withdraw arm quickly."

Our 8yr old DD calls our two 5 month old hens..."the raptors". Confusing to people who dont know much about chickens.

Usual response...'you have WHAT?'

 

[lovemychix]

 

[MaggieRae]

I thought Heroes was on on Mondays...?

Lol, too funny, but only because it's too true!

 

[cap1717]

Quote:
Great story, and pretty much my "daily routine", if you add 9 hours a day, full time job, somewhere in the middle! At least my chooks have not yet learned how to use the doggie door, but the dog manages to track in plenty of "chicken waste". . . .

 

[Serrin]

3:15p - Throw away the rotting pumpkin that chickens won't touch but that people swore the chooks would love.

Sounds like finicky chickens to me! Mine absolutely love pumpkins of any variety!!

All the rest of it is so completely true. Which makes it all the funnier!!

 

[Uppity Peon]

7a - Get out of bed and let the 4 chickens out of the coop before even going to the bathroom. Check for first egg: none. Sigh deeply.

Wow... You get to sleep in!​

 

[b.hromada]

Spoken like a true chicken professional! Real cute!

 

[JennsPeeps]

Thanks for posting this, Buff!

Since my life has changed since last September, I'll post an updated Sunday with the girls. We no longer have 4. We're up to 10. LOL! I had to wait until Thanksgiving morning for that first egg. To think that I had 2 more months to wait when I wrote this!

I've gotten into more of a routine with them and am not so chicken-centric as I was last fall. That said, here's last Sunday:

-------
5a - Awaken to hear chickens complaining in the coop outside our bedroom window. Elbow DF and make him let the girls out of the coop. Roll over and fall back asleep.

7a - Wake up with a bee in my bonnet: must get stuff done! Have breakfast! Clean kitchen! Start some yogurt! Make pizza dough! Collect, sort, and start laundry! Slice up cabbage for homemade sauerkraut.

10:08a - Oh no. While slicing cabbage for sauerkraut, I had an accident with the food processor blade.

10:15a - DF helps me get dressed (a comedy in & of itself... ever had a man try to figure out how a bra is put on??? Quite funny to watch, despite the pain & blood involved in the situation of the moment). He rushed me to urgent care. On my way out the door, I cover the cabbage with a towel and put the yogurt outside to culture. Can't lose my morning's work, right?

10:30a - Checked in and waiting to be seen.

11a - Still waiting.

11:05a - Taken in to an exam room and told a doctor will be there shortly.

11:25a - Still waiting.

11:30a - The king's horses and all the king's men put me back together again. Oh, and whack my arm with a baseball bat. Erm.. I mean, give me a tetanus shot.

Noonish - Get home. Collect 2 eggs. Laugh at the 10 chickens looking at me eagerly for treats. Protect my hand from the ravenous horde, remembering how Gwen had torn at a bandaid last summer and re-opened a painful cut on my hand. Have lunch.

1p - I'm ticked at myself and it's hot. DF won't let me do anything. Grab and computer and e-whine about my predicament.

2p - Remind DF not to use the dryer on a day when it's 90. He never gets it! Hanging up = free. Dryer = money.

2:15p - I take a 2-hour nap. I rarely nap.

4p - Awaken all groggy. Yup... still mad about my finger, which now hurts. Go outside and watch Chicken TV. Zen Jenn...

4:30p - Notice that my tomatoes are falling over. Grab a pair of scissors and twine to tie them up clumsily. Along comes Gwen and investigates my glued-up finger. OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!!!!!! (insert choice words in any satisfying combination) Chase the 20-week-old pullets to see if they'll squat. No go. Bummer.

5:15p - Decide on an early dinner. Direct DF on the intricacies of grilling pizza, about which I've learned only a few minutes previous online.

5:16p - First pizza is done. Holy moly it's fast on a BBQ. Realize that the chickens have just harvested the first tomato (arg). Usher them back into their run. No more yard wandering for them until the garden is done for the fall.

6:00p - Pour myself a large glass of wine... purely for medicinal purposes.

6:30p - Other boring domestic stuff, like laundry, watching the news, feeding the cats, etc.

9p - With DF's help, pull the obstinate 13-week-olds out of the flowing quince - a thorny shrub in which they've started roosting instead of the coop. Grrr. Remind myself to start locking up the little poopers in the small run around 8p to force them to roost in the coop. Consider whacking back quice in the fall.

10p - To bed.

-------

I don't clean the coop weekly any more. It turns out that 1 of the original 4 was sick with cocci and worms (RIP, Dumpling). Her poop was very liquidy, which meant that the coop got dirty very quickly. With 10 healthy chickens, the coop is cleaner than it was with a single sick one. Amazing, huh? My fiance has taken more interest in the girls, meaning that he now shares the chores of feeding and watering.