Any other women out there going through a similiar situation?

[Mahonri]

Quote:
No doubt you made the right decision, but now you know how most men feel!!!


ETA: I didn't read any of the responses until after I had posted the above. Interesting isn't it?

I wish my wife could be "lucky enough" to be like you. I might be appreciated a tad more.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

I have gone from a stay-at-home, homeschool, take-the-kids-to-everything, cook, maid, dishwasher, bill-payer, grocery-shopper, budget balancer, MOM ........to just another production number, never see my kid because I am RARELY off on the weekend,no time to cook, clean, shop, pay OR balance, MOM.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I KNOW how ya feel! And i can even splain it

We are designed to nurture!! There, that was easy

The hubby is sposed to go out kill something and drag it home to the cave, and they cope well in that position! The wife/SUPERmom is sposed to wipe the snotty noses and be EVERYTHING to make sure the kids don't die for the next 18 years after birth. I feel scrambled. SUDDENLY...I'd rather be doing ALL those stinkin things I used to gripe about!!! I WANT TO GROCERY SHOP!!!! I WANT TO WASH DISHES!!!!!!! I HATE that my kid has a "teacher" at "school." BUT, well...not much choice here either. Some days at work I despise being there, I wonder what 'they' are doing...ya know the guy not working and the kiddo...and I get frustrated and upset because i can't do whatever 'it' is that they so happen to be doing whenever that thought crosses my mind......*sigh* I'm gonna have a mental breakdown just responding to this post LOL! It is HARD to stop being a mom, and that's just all there is to it. DH cooks meat. They eat meat. The bill goes through the roof. The kid is going to die from meat poisoning....

But...he can't/won't cook much else. That's just ONE thing. It's as if I woke up one day, and he is wearing MY shoes!!! And I am aggravated!!!! I LIKED those shoes! I want them back. He needs a job...like...NOW!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
No doubt you made the right decision, but now you know how most men feel!!!


ETA: I didn't read any of the responses until after I had posted the above. Interesting isn't it?

I wish my wife could be "lucky enough" to be like you. I might be appreciated a tad more.

That too...totally agree, have told DH so, and reminded myself and him how much it is/was appreciated. But I still want my job back

 

[Royd]

You just need to take some time and put it all in perspective, concerning the national economy. Hopefully, you'll feel better...I am a self employed carpenter, one who never cuts corners or takes shortcuts, to get the job done, so that automatically puts me at a disadvantage, when giving a price, for my work.
Being self employed, there is no govt. saftey net, on which to fall. You simply have to set your priorities, stick by them, and tell everyone else to wait their turn.

Nothing like coming home and seeing the blue tag, from the electric company, hanging on your gate, telling you the payment is late, and you, now, owe them and extra $25, for doing you this wonderful favor.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

DH used to say wistfully, "I feel like I am missing out on so much of what you and the kids are doing." And I knew how he felt and I tried to make sure he knew we missed him something awful.

Well shoe is on the other foot now! Exact same boat. He got laid off, I got more work than I can handle, he went to school.

Things are flipping around some. We both had some major adjusting to do and not a little growing up. I pout over missing the kids, he pouts because he hasn't finished accepting his "altered circumstances". It has been very hard on him. He was used to being the bread winner and feeling like he was ale to support his family.

But, you know what? He is a way better housekeeper than I am!!!

He is having to work on his patience level with the kids and taking time to be with them. But, now he can play Sorry! and he even played Barbies once or twice!!

Looks like things will flip back round here by the end of the year. I am glad because he will still make more money than I could, but I think we both may miss it. And I think it was good for both of us AND the kids!

Like Bee said, I am SO grateful he is here! I'd have had to Ebay the kids if left to handle this alone!!

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
Yes, I know, right? What would I do without him? He really is truly awesome. He is so patient, and kind. And here lately, I have been so overwhelmed, I barely even want to hug him. I cant imagine what it feels like for him, either. I really love him, and I am so proud of him. And just feeling like this sometimes really makes me feel crappy, ya know? But this bump in the road is soooo minor. We have been through so much worse....(losing a brother, and a father) this should be cupcakes. Anyways... if anything else, its just nice to hear others out there are going through it, although unfortunate. Sometimes its great therapy to hear other stories, and how people feel, so I know Im not crazy... or likewise, that I AM crazy

As a man, I've been through what your husband is going through. In my experience, I had no outlet for venting or support. DW did, and all of her friends encouraged her to share her frustrations with me, which she didn't, since I was dealing with so much already. I was the "stoic" husband taking it all on his shoulders - it nearly killed me (yes, it the worse sense of the word) and the marriage (because I wasn't sensitive to what my wife was feeling).

If you haven't told him yet, get up from the keyboard and go tell him NOW.

 

[booker81]

We are doing this now....DH was laid off in June, and I've been putting in overtime at my job. It's been hard, frustrating, because I see our daughter run to him....it's not "MOMMY!!!!" anymore, it's "DADDY!!!!!".

So, I send him messages, he sends me messages, we hug and touch a lot, and I vent on him when I'm frustrated that I feel like I'm not a mommy anymore. He vents that he hates being broke and poor all the time.

He finally got the call to go back to work on Monday, and now I'm waiting for a call for a promotion/job change that I interviewed for. We'll go from scraping by on an unemployment check and a paycheck that is about the same amount as unemployment to making almost $100,000+ a year (which is VERY good in this area!). I suppose the struggle is worth that

You've made it a lot longer than our relationship (almost 5 years) - I'm sure you can get through this! Like the men here said, make sure to talk to your DH!

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

I was a SAHM/WAHM for 7 years. Then my husbands company got bought/sold. They kept him(luckily) and when they closed the office they let him move his office home. So I went back to work outside of home. Been 6 months now at the job and it is paying off finally.
I now know how he felt for those 7 years. I am now the one missing things. Wanting the weekends to be empty of other engagements so that I can spend time just with my daughter and husband. He now does the housework. The cooking. the extra stuff.

It isnt easy. I would LOVE to be able to not work. Or at least find a REAL WAH job. But I also know that I am lucky as all get out.
I was home for 7 YEARS with our daughter. I got to raise her and keep house AND work some. Now I have a job that I actually like. That pays me pretty well.

You will make it.

 

[littlefarm_bighappy]

Oh BOY do I know how you feel. I did read that your husband "gets to" run the kids around and cook..... I was dumbfounded to read that... most guys don;t slip into that role so easily. It's fabulous that he picks up that slack.

So, i worked (and am still working) when my hubby got laid off at HIS job- different industry but pretty much same story. Hubby took the the TRA (Trade Reform Act) and went to school. He graduated from a Big 10 university with an Honors degree in Mechanical Engineering.

Before it sounds like I am bragging, let me tell you- he was a high school dropout, and we too had our daughter in our teens.

I would advise you to seriously look into TRA. It was a godsend for us.

 

[nuts4chickens]

Well- I talked to my DH about how I've been feeling. He cried. I cried. I told him how much I love him and how proud I am of him. We talked about despite how hard its been how much of a blessing its been to cut out all the things that have no meaning. We don't need designer clothes, or fancy cars. We don't drink soda anymore. We don't go out to eat hardly ever. We made a lot of meals from the garden. We spend a lot more time at home rather than going out and doing things that cost money. So, when we do actually have a soda, or eat out on rare occasions it has so much more meaning and appreciation. Not such a bad thing. The biggest thing is communication, I think. Just sitting down and getting on the same page. I love and admire him so much for the DH and DF he is. Sometimes, it just gets soooo overwhelming. A year ago, if we had to buy new tires, or a pipe burst we could swing it. Its a lot harder, and quite stressful now when these things happen...as it is for A LOT of others right now. It is so therapeutic to hear others stories. Sometimes, it just feels good to know you are not alone. And despite the fact I am more than happy to do whatever I need to do to ensure DH finishes school, keep the kids fed, roof overhead, and shoes on their feet, it will never get easier missing out. But, for now, it is simply a fact I have no control over. This too shall pass. And in the grand scheme, it could be soooo much worse. But, ladies, doesn't it feel good just to vent your frustrations? I want him to get a JOB yesterday already, but...we are working on it, and one day yesterday will be here, although it never seems like it can come soon enough