Can I give this to my teacher without coming across a dork?

[PineBurrowPeeps]

This is the first post of yours that I have read Kargo but I went and browsed your other posts on your teacher.
I too think that using the word "obsessed" is a tad strong here.

To me, it simply looks like a case of a insecure teen who has had a very trumatic loss trying to find some shred of positive light in her life right now.

When you spend 6+ of your waking hours in school, how are you NOT supposed to get attached to a teacher?

I do not see anything wrong with being sad and worried when she is sick and absent or writing her a poem, or drawing her a picture.
Kids did things like this for favorite teachers all the time when I was in Jr. high and it was only 11 years ago. EVERYONE of us here had a favorite teacher growing up Kargo. Mine was Mrs. Robinson and she was my third grade teacher at a time in my life when my parents were fighting and on the brink of divorce. She made me feel loved and important at a time in my life when I felt consumed by fear, worry, and very pushed aside.
When did it become SO innapropriate for a teacher to comfort and be-friend a child? This is sad. In my opinion Teachers are supposed to love children and be there for them in those hours they are away from their parents. When I think back to 1993 when I was in third grade and my beloved teacher would spend time with me alone every morning (I was ALWAYS dropped off early) talking, drawing, reading me stories, drying my tears and listening, heavens forbid even the occasional hug... Now that would be nearly considered something very bad and I just don't know how we got to this point in this country. One of the many reasons my own children are Home Schooled.

That being said though Kargo, if you find yourself thinking of Mrs. W all the time and it consuming your life there may be a problem.
It doesn't make you a freak or anything, you lost your Dad and it sounds like he was pretty sick. I can't imagine having to go through that at a young age. It's natural almost to want to latch onto to someone and it would be an extension of that to let worrying about their wellbeing consume you. A fear of losing someone else you care about.
You seem to be very worried about what she thinks of you. Do you often worry about people judging you or does it seem to be a new thing with Mrs. W? I ask because there is something called Social Anxiety that has symptoms you may be showing. Being overly concerned with what others think of you as a person (and I've heard you say that you worry she thinks you're someone who is wasting her time) is a symptom of this, BUT it's also a symptom of being a normal awkward teenager who is trying to discover themselves.
Do you have a hard time making friends? Have you ever experienced anything like an Anxiety Attack where you suddenly feel impending doom for no reason?
These are things to ask yourself. If you feel that something might be "off" with you and it's not normal teenage hormones and growing up, then it would be perfectly fine to talk to your Mom or Guidance Counsler about seeing someone.
I myself have Social Anxiety, Depression, OCD, ADD, etc.
By the time I was in the age range I believe you are in I was already very symptomatic but my parents thought it was normal teen stuff and didn't seek any help. We know better now and there are things that can help you if you think you need it.

I'd love to give you a big hug and tell you it will all be okay and you'll grow out of this awkwardness soon enough and that there is NOTHING wrong with having a favorite teacher and wanting her to know that.

I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad hun. You know he's watching over you.

 

[kargo]

Quote:
I agree completely.

Yep. THat sounds exactly right, too.

I wouldn't say I find myself thinkign about her all the time. I wouldn't say she consumes my life, either. I did worry a lot about her the week she was gone, but that's the only time it might be described as consuming.

I don't really worry abotu what most people think of me. Usually I could care less. However, yes, I do worry a lot about what Mrs. W thinks of me. I think it's because I've ahd so many prolems making friends. Sometimes I just wonder if I should give up because I think all of my friendships are pre-doomed. Let's jsut say all of the oens up until now were disatorous.

Thank you. Your post made me feel a lot better.

Boyd-I wish. That would be great. I don't know, though. It could just be me worrying, but sometimes I feel like maybe she doesn't like me at all.

sred-Yeah, I do think I have a lot of support. But I sure wish so many people would stop saying I'm obsessed.

 

[Wildsky]

Quote:
Very true, my favorite teacher was my 4th grade teacher, her name was Mrs. Kelly.

My oldest daughter's name is Kelly

 

[Egg_newton]

Maybe instead of the pictures get her a nice Get Well Soon or Thinking About You card. Maybe ever some flowers. Almost all girls love flower. I think that would be more appropriate.

 

[kargo]

Omg! Okay, oh my gosh. I never use chatspeak, but it's appropriate here. Yesterday, after chool, I went to a teacher's room after school. It's a long story. Anway, while the teacher was in the retroom, one of the other students in the room asked me a question. "What do you call Mrs. W's baby?" I must have turned slightly red. "Uh....just whatever, you know? Like, I'll sit there forever and be like, ":um............... him. You-know..." I said, knowing fully that almost all of the time I called him Blue. I was embarassed and afraid to tell her. "Right. She says you call him Blue..." My classmate said. "Oh...well ocassionally I do." I said. I don't know if I was, but I sure felt blood red! I was so embarassed. How did Mrs. W find out? Omg, she knows I've nicknamed her baby!

Is that a bad thing? 'Cause I'm freaking out. My teacher Ms. R thinks that Mrs W won't mind. She thinks Mrs. W knows I care about her. Still,

snap! I am so scared. Is she going to get mad at me or think I'm super weird? I'm SO embarassed....

 

[Boyd]

I always called unborn babies that I didn't know the sex of yet as "lumpy"

Both of my boys were nicknamed lumpy till we found out the sex..... then the nicknames ensued

 

[Blackbird]

Quote:
I thought the picture was cute, myself.

And I believe I was the one who PMed you that. However, I did not insist that you were obsessed and had a crush on her. I said that it can come off to others as an obsession, and I suggested you perhaps take a break from this teacher, and that she probably liked you just fine, but to not dig so deep into it. Everything in life needs some balance, and it just seemed a bit unbalanced.

I only asked if you perhaps had a crush because my brother was acting very similar to you once, and it was because he liked someone. The end result was very hurtful to him. There are many kinds of 'crushes', and admirations in various ways. I only mentioned that I seen nothing wrong with it because I didn't want to come across as judging you.

The last thing I would want to do is wrongly judge someone and make them unhappy. So I apologize if it came across the opposite. Based on the similarities to my brother's situation, I couldn't help but feel for you. So I'm sorry if I offended you Kargo.

And to the person who said that an adult should NEVER pm someone who isn't an adult (seriously? Most of my friends are adults) I believe I am around Kargo's age, and still in school myself.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Blackbird, your parents should be proud as heck of you.

 

[Blackbird]

Aww, your so sweet Stevie!

 

[ravencreek]

Kargo,

Giving her the picture is perfectly fine and NORMAL. Friends give each other gifts and noone thinks anything about it.


I didn't read all the posts simply because I was ashamed of some of them. I wanted to let you know that you aren't "obsessed" over your teacher. When I was in 8th grade my Grandmother(who raised me) died suddenly from a heart attack and I withdrew from everyone and became bulimic. Being a teen, losing a "parent", then becoming an emotional bulimic was hard not only on my body and soul but it was hard on my social life and structure. I wouldn't allow myself to become close to anyone in fear of something happening to them. So I was taken from 3 classes out of 6 a day to sit in my counselors office. Even if i wouldn't say a word he would talk to me and tell me things that were funny, sweet, and pretty much things to make me trust him. It worked. TOO well. I attached myself to him just like you to your teacher(though mine was probably more severe). He was my best and only friend and I confided in him with EVERYTHING. I lost all my friends when I was bulimic because their parents thought I was "a bad example" and didn't want to risk their kids becoming sick.

People also thought I was becoming obsessed with him and that it would be a good idea that I stop talking with him. But I knew I wasn't obsessed in the way they were implying. I just loved having someone to talk to that wouldn't judge me and that could/would help me when I needed it. I had his number and could call him at any hour if I needed him. I would write him thank you notes and draw him pictures as a source of showing that I cared about him and how he helped me. He appreciated it. Our relationship grew into an awesome friendship and I now have a friend for life. I still have his number and he came to my wedding and sent flowers when I had both my kids. Don't let anyone tell you that you have a "strange" relationship or that your "obsessed" with your teacher. She is still a person even if she a teacher and older than you. Her job and age doesn't limit her ability of being your friend.

I do agree that you might want to talk to a counselor about losing your parent. You are unknowingly withholding very painful things and they CAN help you. I am so happy that I went through all the tough tears and just having someone listen that honestly knew how to help me get though it. Give it a try. Sorry this is so long and might be way off topic. If you want to talk about anything just PM me.