We're currently going through that sad time with both dogs. It never gets any easier...
Our little Maltese, we've decided this will be his last week, since next week we have some days off and we'll have a few quiet days to be sad about losing him before having to rush back to work.
We adopted our little boy three years ago from the shelter - he was picked up as a stray so they didn't know his exact age but the vet estimated at least 12. We had three wonderful years with him, then in April he suddenly couldn't walk or even hold his head up, struggling to stand up but collapsing in dizziness. It was horrible to see him like that. We thought (hoped) it was vestibulitis, since they often recover just fine. The vet brought up the subject of euthanizing him at that time, but we opted to try some medication while keeping in mind it might not work. He improved a lot, but never got his full mind back - we suspect it was a stroke, because he's like a human with dementia. He still enjoys his food, but doesn't know where he is most of the time, and no longer enjoys sitting on our laps or cuddling. He wanders in circles, sometimes getting stuck in small areas or crashing into things. We knew his vision was little-to-none before, but before his illness in April, he had the house memorized and could find his way around just fine, but not any more.
The kicker was when we were at work, but watching him on the baby monitor - we baby-gate him in the kitchen when we're gone - he was collapsed between the water bowl and the corner, not moving, we thought he might have already passed away. I rushed home as soon as I could, and he was alive but stuck in a spot where he couldn't move, and had peed and pooped all over himself. I cleaned him up and got him walking around outside, but it seems like we can no longer keep him safe, even baby-gated in the kitchen.
Physically he doesn't seem to be in any pain, but it seems like he is just not really enjoying life any more. Even his food, which has always been his top priority, he'll wander away from his bowl and not be able to find his way back. We've talked it over (many talks weighing the pros and cons, actually) and we agree that it's time.
Our big dog (Border Collie/Heeler mix) we got as a puppy and he's now 14. He was diagnosed with congestive heart disease a year and a half ago, and has been doing fairly well on medication, but about the same time as our little dog starting having issues, our big dog got a lump on his leg, which has turned out to be cancer. The vets gave us the option of surgery, euthanasia or hospice care, and we decided on hospice care. We just want to keep him as happy and comfortable as possible for whatever time he has left.
If he was a young dog, or even 9 or 10, we probably would have considered surgery to try to remove the cancer, but for a 14-y-o dog with advanced heart disease, how much more time would he even gain from the surgery? And how much of that time would be taken up by suffering through an invasive procedure and a painful and possible-but-not-guaranteed recovery?
So, we're just spoiling him as much as possible, giving him as many treats as he wants, and lots of walks, such as they are these days... in his younger days he used to go hiking with us, carrying his own doggy pack and go-pro (he took some hilarious videos with the go-pro)... today a walk means nothing strenuous, like strolling in our field, sniffing the air, rolling in the grass, making "border collie eyes" at the chickens or wild bunnies. All of which he enjoys.
We've decided when the time comes that he no longer enjoys going outside and can only lay around, or, if his cancerous leg starts causing pain, that will be when it's time to say goodbye. Hopefully not for a few more months, but who knows?
It stinks big time to know we're going to lose both of our boys so soon and so close together. Having it happen in the middle of covid, when the vet makes us call from the parking lot, takes them inside, and only lets us come in to be with them after everything is prepped, makes it so much worse. The thought of them being scared or confused about what is happening breaks my heart. The vet hospital does their best, I'm not faulting them. At least they will let us be with our boys at the final moment and comfort them as they go to sleep.
This past Spring we planted a weeping willow tree in our field, among some other new shrubs and trees. The weeping willow is a tree we've wanted for a long time, and it's growing amazingly, putting out more new healthy, beautiful branches every time we look at it. Under this beautiful tree, will be the final resting place for our boys.
Sorry this was TLDR, but just had to share my sadness among all you good folks and get things off my chest. Thanks, everybody.