Dad Jokes😂

[Jester57]

Why did the poorly constructed sewing machine company go out of business?

Because it ripped what it sewed.

 

[Jester57]

My house was making so many weird noises I ended up taking it to court.


It settled.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Three conspriacy theorist walk into a bar.

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery.
Daffy turns to Elmer and says "Is this Whiskey?"

Elmer says "Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Silly Putty implies the existence of Serious Putty.

I believe that is called C-4.

 

[Oob Child]

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.


She gave me a hug.

 

[Jester57]

Why did God only make an asteroid instead of a more substantial celestial object?

He didn’t have time to planet

 

[Jester57]

The general called up the battalion’s artist when the army came to an unfordable river.

They were able to cross on a drawbridge.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

The phrase Domestic Housewife implies that there are Feral Housewives.

And I think my wife has found a new goal in life.

 

[Sally PB]

Yes! I am a FERAL HOUSEWIFE!