Dad Jokes😂

[Oob Child]

What do you call a failed gathering of crows?



An attempted murder.

 

[Oob Child]

I made some fish tacos last night;


But they just ignored them and swam away.

 

[Oob Child]

My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop eating pasta.


Now I'm feeling cannelloni.

 

[Oob Child]

For the past three weeks, I've been jogging a mile a day.


Now I don't know where I am.

 

[Jester57]

The store was having problems selling their newest item, the “Big Pile o’ Slime”.

It’s hard to put a price on that kind of thing.

 

[EuroChook]

When is the best time to buy a bird? When it's going, cheeeeaaaap!

 

[Hayden Goseek]

"Don't make me repeat myself." -History

 

[Jester57]

I once knew a bunch of guys who thought they were really exceptional at statistics.


They turned out to be average.

 

[Jester57]

I’m a little upset.


My weather report got lost in the cloud.

 

[Jester57]

The phrase Domestic Housewife implies that there are Feral Housewives.

And I think my wife has found a new goal in life.

Since they’re feral, does that make them an invasive species?