Dog turned predator - how do I convince my husband to get rid of it?

[vehve]

Dogs can be mean. I like some dogs and there are some that I hate. If a dog killed one of my animals I'm sure I would be very upset. Your own children are afraid of this dog and your husband still won't get rid of it? Dogs can be dangerous: Each year 4.7 million Americans are bitten by dogs and about 30 people are killed, Tell him the dog needs to go. I know it's not that simple but that's what I would do. So sad for your loss and for your situation.

Dogs are pretty seldom mean, I don't think I've ever seen one. What I have seen, is dogs with owners who don't know what to do with them, give them way too little activation, and have not trained them in any way. Many people often have a need to compensate other shortcomings with a big scary looking dog. Nothing wrong with that, if you are willing to put in the effort it takes to make them obedient and well behaved, but for many people it seems to be too much work.

Cats on the other hand, those can truly be evil. And horses like giving you a hard time just for the fun of it. These are just my opinions though.

 

[chammer70]

My heart is breaking for this poor dog - neglected, ignored, hated, abused, left outside alone, untouched, and on a chain? And the dog is the evil monster?
How horrible. This poor dog would be better off euthanized than living like that. And we are avid rescuers of any sort of animal, no matter how large or small.

 

[Flock Leader]

Your own children are afraid of this dog and your husband still won't get rid of it?

I have to be fair and say that neither my children nor I are afraid that the dog might intentionally cause us harm. She had never behaved aggressively towards a human being. She growls and barks at strangers *who approach the house alone* - not when we are bringing people with us - but she's very good at recognizing our friends after a few visits, and she even will growl at adult strangers but not at little children (apparently she understands a little child is not a threat). I do see this dog is intelligent and has some good qualities.

HOWEVER, considering her size she is way too energetic for little children to play with. Whenever our daughters are around her, it always ends up with them on the ground, dust in their hair, scraped knees, torn clothes, etc. That's why they won't go near her.

 

[Flock Leader]

This poor dog would be better off euthanized than living like that.

Why euthanized? We're speaking of finding her a better home in the very near future. Our rent contract is up on August 15-th so obviously a solution has to be found by then.

Again, I realize rationally that the dog is not evil, but I can't love her or handle her and she isn't a good match for our family. I can't get along with just any kind of dog, as I can't get along with just any kind of person.

 

[sourland]

Why euthanized? We're speaking of finding her a better home in the very near future. Our rent contract is up on August 15-th so obviously a solution has to be found by then.

Again, I realize rationally that the dog is not evil, but I can't love her or handle her and she isn't a good match for our family. I can't get along with just any kind of dog, as I can't get along with just any kind of person.

As others have suggested, please find the dog a good home, and do not get another dog. Life outside on a chain is no life for a social animal.

 

[6of6chicks]

By the way, I do have to say I love your avatar... it just about sums up what kind of dog I think would be right for our family.

I'm sorry, but that statement right there sums up why you should NOT get another dog. Do you know what kind of breed she is? Size? Temperament? You are making assumptions based on a picture, but what you don't seem to realize is the amount of training that has gone into that dog to allow her to stand nose to nose with those chicks. Frankly, it's insulting to both me and my dog.

The dog in the picture, by the way, is a mixed breed lab. My best guess regarding her mixed breeding is that she has a little bit of terrier in her. For the most part she is a typical lab, but she also instinctively hunts and chases small animals, such as lizards, cats, rabbits, squirrels, and BIRDS. What you don't "see" in the picture is two years of intensive puppy training because she had BOTH lab AND terrier puppy crazies. She is the sweetest, most gentle pup I've ever had. She was born that way. But that does NOT mean she automatically behaves the way I want. She may be sweet, but she was a NORMAL puppy - she jumped, barked, grabbed things that weren't hers, chased anything and everything, etc. She had to be TRAINED to come when I call, to leave my stuff alone, to walk nicely on a leash, to stay out of the garden...she had to be taught all of the manners I wanted her to have. That's what "training" and "socialization" means.

What you also don't "see" in the picture is how intensively I worked with her every day to teach her how to behave around the chicks. Day after day of training. Do you really think I just opened the doors to the coop and let her walk right up? Either you think I'm an idiot, or you really have no understanding of how to work with dogs. You seem convinced that some dogs are born "perfect" and others are born "nightmares." The only reason your current dog is a nightmare is because you didn't train or socialize the dog. If you had, you might have the dog of your dreams now.

I'm very confused as to why you started this thread. At first I thought that you had an out of control dog and needed help rehoming it. I honestly sympathized with that. Dogs aren't for everyone and plenty of people learn that the hard way. There is NO shame in that and I admired your desire to find it a better home. But you have since gone on to defend the idea of getting rid of this problem dog and then getting another dog! You've neglected and abused this one, but you want another one? And you haven't taken anyone's suggestion of researching breeds or taking training classes seriously. You seem convinced that you just got a bad apple this time, but the NEXT dog will be rainbows and roses. As I've said, MAYBE you will find an older dog that someone ELSE has trained and it will work out. But maybe not, and you're gambling with another dog's life. No-where have I seen YOU take responsibility for training and socializing the NEXT dog. What makes you think you deserve another dog? Because to be honest, if a rescue center KNEW how you treated this one they wouldn't give you another one.

 

[Flock Leader]

I'm sorry, but that statement right there sums up why you should NOT get another dog. Do you know what kind of breed she is? Size? Temperament? You are making assumptions based on a picture, but what you don't seem to realize is the amount of training that has gone into that dog to allow her to stand nose to nose with those chicks. Frankly, it's insulting to both me and my dog.

I'm sorry, but I do believe you are taking this far too seriously. I meant what I said as a humorous and illustrative comment. I never meant I'm now going to go and pick a dog of that breed and train her. That's not my point.

Either you think I'm an idiot, or you really have no understanding of how to work with dogs.

No, I indeed have no idea how to work with dogs. I'll be the first to admit that. I never spent time around dogs while growing up, never thought I'd own one, and then we moved into a rural area and my husband declared we MUST have a dog because it's too dangerous to be without one here. I was never convinced about this, by the way. I thought a good alarm system might do the job. However, he went ahead and got a dog without consulting me. You could say he had no right to do that, that it takes two to tango (or to train a dog), but that's a fact. He got a dog and there was nothing I could do to make him give it back. If I sound resentful, that's because I am. He spends all day at work and I have to deal with the dog.

The only reason your current dog is a nightmare is because you didn't train or socialize the dog. If you had, you might have the dog of your dreams now.

You see, the thing is, I don't have "a dog of my dreams". I never wanted a dog, the most I could compromise on was being ready to care for and spend time with a dog that had already been trained. I know a lot of people who just plain can't stand dogs, no matter how gorgeous and well-behaved they are. I'm not one of them. I have absolutely no problem being around a dog who is gentle and well-trained. It is, however, too much to expect of me to actively participate in dog training. I know my limits.

You've neglected and abused this one, but you want another one?

You seem to be forgetting that the Dog Decisions in this family are not mine alone. They weren't in the past and they aren't now, and they won't be in the future. That's actually the problem to begin with. If the decision was mine, this dog would be gone ages ago. I do NOT want another dog. I hope we don't get another dog. I AM, however, trying to think a little ahead regarding what will happen if we re-home this dog and my husband thinks we might have better luck with a different one. I WILL stress that I do not want a dog. I WILL explain that I don't have the time or energy to put into a dog. I WILL try to convince him not to get a dog. However, if he insists, I shall insist on the following conditions:

1) The dog is of a suitable breed.
2) The dog is not a puppy and has received some basic training.
3) My husband will do all necessary training, and this time for real.

What makes you think you deserve another dog?

By all means, I don't deserve another dog. Please don't give me one (that's kind of the whole point).


Again... explaining our situation very, very simply and concisely, just to make sure I'm being clear:

1) We have a dog that my husband got against my inclinations. To make matters worse, he chose a breed that is not suited to us temperamentally.

2) He said the dog's training would be his responsibility and he would work with the dog, but he has not. He said he would take the dog to training classes, but he has not.

3) The dog has turned out to be a nightmare (understandably). If I put as little effort in our children as he put in that dog, no doubt they would be nightmares too. But the thing is, I'm ready to invest in child upbringing because these are OUR children and I love them. I'm not ready to invest in dog training when I was against a dog in the first place. It just isn't fair to foist this on me.

4) I asked, no, begged him to re-home the dog countless times. I did so after every chicken incident and after every time the dog dragged me and made me fall down to the ground. The reply I always got was, "we live in an isolated area and I don't want to be without a dog."

5) Now we are FINALLY moving to an area where he can't argue we need a dog for safety reasons. I see this as a chance to convince him to re-home the dog (that's why I started this thread - to get suggestions from people on how to present my point in the best way).

6) As far as I am concerned, I don't want another dog and am not planning on getting another one. That's why I didn't reply in detail to people's suggestions of possible LGD breeds and training classes. The matter isn't exactly relevant right now so I didn't dig deep into it, but it MIGHT be in the future IF my husband insists on getting another dog, so thank you for the valuable input.

7) Repeat: I do not want another dog. Last night I dreamed about rescuing a cute fluffy kitten from a snowstorm and taking her home. Kind of gives you perspective on the sort of pet that would suit me. However, if my husband insists on getting another dog in the future I want to be prepared. I don't want to just chant "no, no, no, I don't want a dog" and then be faced with another "surprise". If he makes it plain to me that he IS getting another dog, I want to have some say in the matter. I want to make sure we at least have as much chance as possible to get along with it without us or the dog being miserable.

I re-read all I just wrote and I think that's about the best I can get at explaining our situation. If I failed, well, rest assured I never meant to offend anyone.

 

[6of6chicks]

Well, I admire your honesty if nothing else.

And I apologize if I'm angry and you feel I am taking it too seriously. If you were a dog-lover, I think you'd understand WHY I'm so passionate about my responses. You don't love dogs, so I need to realize that you aren't going to understand my level of emotion. So...deep breath...

The thing is, dog lovers LOVE their animals as much as they love their children. Dogs ARE our children - they just happen to have four legs and fur. That's why you hear expressions like "my fur-babies." The fact that your dog is neglected and abused is as horrifying to me as a toddler who is abused and neglected. Personally, that's why I've been kind of shocked at your frank and open admission of how you've treated your dog. To me, you might as well have started a thread saying you beat your daughter and kept her locked her in a closet. Both scenarios make me equally angry and sick to my stomach. Many people feel VERY strongly and passionately about the proper care and treatment of animals, and that's why it is so hard to read your posts with clinical detachment. You need to realize that when you posted your thread you cast a very wide net - some folks will see it your way, some folks will land in the middle, and some (like me) will react very strongly and passionately to what you have said.

It's hard to hear about animal abuse and not get upset. It's even harder to sit back and watch an owner fail to learn from their mistakes. And it's heartbreaking to try to make someone understand how their actions are causing an animal to suffer - and despite your BEST efforts - completely fail to reach them.

 

[Flock Leader]

The thing is, dog lovers LOVE their animals as much as they love their children. Dogs ARE our children - they just happen to have four legs and fur.

I understand this. I also understand that the amount of time, effort, care, thought, sacrifice, adjustment, changes I made in my life, and so on, for my children, are only possibly because of LOVE. Yes, of course it's my duty to care for my children, but I also passionately love them with all my heart. I see this love as a gift from God that enables me to do so much for my family on a daily basis and be happy for it.

I just don't have that kind of love for a dog. That's why I should never be given a dog and told, "here, you are responsible for its training". I do not have the motivation, energy or desire for it. I am not, however, repulsed by dogs. So it's not like I'm going to tell my husband, "if you ever get another dog I won't go near it". No; if it's a suitable dog and he takes REAL responsibility for its training, I am perfectly willing to feed it, walk it, supervise my children while they play with it, etc.

This, of course, is not what I prefer. I prefer NOT to have a dog at all.

Right now, though, my main concern is that he should let go of the dog we currently have, because with her it's obvious things will never work out.

 

[bobbi-j]

Quote: This. This is very clear. I'll have to admit, when I read your first post, to me it sounded like, "I have chickens, my husband has a dog. The dog killed some of my chickens so I want HIS dog to go away." But like I said before - after reading the whole story I wholeheartedly agree with you. The dog needs to find a home where she will be cared for, given the attention and training she needs, and have someone to love and pet her. I have had dogs my whole life. The longest I've ever been without one was 7 months. So I'll admit it is hard for me to understand your feelings toward this dog, in a way. I'm not saying they're wrong. I think they're perfectly justified. I would resent having an animal dumped on me and being told it was up to me to care for it, too. No matter what kind of animal - especially if I've never been around or had experience with whatever animal it was. So I do want to apologize for my earlier statement about whether or not you'd be willing to give up your chickens so he could keep the dog. You deserve your chickens. You care for them and feed them. He does not deserve this dog. Not if he has put nothing into her other than taking her for walks now and then. If you do re-home this one and he insists on another, stand firm on your requirements for a dog. Everyone will be happier that way. Wishing you all the best.