Goose Shenanigans


Aug 11, 2016
My geese love bungees, any stringy stretchy thing, and as a rule anything they shouldn’t have in their mouths. If it’s forbidden they can’t resist.
My Buff Apricot knows what she isn’t allowed to have and starts running the moment she picks something up, that’s my cue to run after her and pull whatever it is out before it goes down her throat.

First and foremost though, I think I’m their favorite chew toy.
:yuckyuck I hear that!!


Nov 10, 2019
Something in the duck forums just reminded me of this story so I’m going to leave it here before I forget again, it’s about geese, but mainly about ducks.
Disclaimer: this one is raunchy.

Two of my ducks went through what I would delicately call a “heightened state of promiscuity.” Henry my Pekin hen and Olaf my Pekin drake aparently came to the conclusion one day that their love life would be much more exciting with witnesses. So for a whole summer no one could leave the house, come to the house, walk around the house without being forced into becoming unintended witnesses their acts of debauchery.

They weren’t like this all the time, if you were lucky to catch sight of them from a window without their knowing, you would see normal every day duckiness, weedling in the grass and bushes for all sorts of insect goodness, splashing in their baby pool, lounging on the lawn, nothing at all remotely “untoward.”
However all it would take was a movement to catch their eye and they would crane their necks up to ascertain if they had any kind of audience and then it would start.

It was easier in the beginning to dismiss their behavior, ducks are ducks and they’re just being ducks, but it started out small and as time went by their acts became more frequent, sordid, and prolonged and so more distasteful as the weeks past.
At first it was just the human variety that put them in the mood.
Me bringing them food or getting spotted anywhere in the yard, BOOM surprise duck porn! Mom sighted walking out to the car, suddenly duck porn! My brother dropping by to pick up or drop off his dog, more duck porn! Surprise visitors dropping by at the most inopportune times trying to convert us to their belief systems, you guessed it, duck porn right in the front yard!
There was one time UPS came and he had to walk around them to deliver a package because they were at it in the middle of the driveway. Have you ever been in a situation so akward that you ty to avoid eye contact?

Then they broadened their target audiences to include the dogs, “Bailey always had this mortified look on her face when they targeted her,” then the cat “who somehow seemed to remain neutral and unaffected by it all,” and then the geese and that’s where their fun came to an end.

At this time Henry and Olaf were living at night with two of my ganderlings “Parsnip and Thor” in a children’s play house we’d converted into a bird cottage. It had two rooms joined by a 4 ft doorway which had been boarded up except for a small opening at the very top following an incident with another female duck who had an issue with starting fights with Leo “one of my other ganders.” My ganderlings actually had a great relationship with Henry and Olaf normally but after the drama with Astrid it was safer for the ducks in my opinion to have the barrier between them and the geese.

A rift began to form between the ganders and the ducks who had been wonderful neighbors previously. Henry and Olaf now considered their presence as fuel for their torrid affair and Parsnip and especially Thor were not having ANY OF IT.

The ganders tried to contain their annoyance at first. Every night when I’d put everybody to bed and Henry and Olaf would begin their profane exhibitions, the ganders would voice their displeasure politely at first with only a few annoyed hisses but as the duck’s romance ensued becoming more extravagant and unorthodox by the night Parsnip and Thor’s inner prudishness would rear more and more until the polite hissing became enraged cackling yells and webbed clawing at the barrier until the freak show next door would die down.
I genuinely didn’t think there was an issue because they were separated with no way to get at each other and they were all fine once they had settled down for the night. What I didn’t know was that Henry and Olaf’s “episodes” were likely starting up again either some time in the night or in the wee hours of dawn. I only became aware of this when Thor decided to put an end to it once and for all.
After about four nights of being forced to put up with the duck’s behavior Thor had clearly had it and somehow managed to launch himself up and through the narrow opening at the top of the barrier into the duck’s room. I still don’t know how he managed to accomplish this.
The following morning when I came and opened the door to the gander’s side of the house I was horrified to see only Parsnip, Thor was no where to be seen. Thoughts of Thor being birdnapped by a demented neighbor shot through my mind as I called out his name hoping he was still somehow somewhere nearby.
To my surprise I heard his familiar soft “whoo” answer from the duck’s room. Flipping open the duck’s door there I found him, beak raised in bristling indignation, planted firmly between both ducks who were stuffed into the furthest corners away from each other with a few freshly plucked white feathers scattered about here and there like rage confetti.

I boarded up the last bit of the barrier that day but it turned out to be unnecessary. Henry and Olaf were completly fine despite the few plucked feathers but they got the point and dramatically reduced their “activities.”
Unfortunately the incident led to the bird cottage being referred to as “the house of ill repute” for awhile.
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Feb 19, 2019
Commerce, Texas
Well breeding season has arrived. No eggs yet and of course the yard is under several inches of water but Golly nearly killed Suede, the Blue Orpington Rooster yesterday while I was at work. They are in prison currently until the four days of rain let up and I can get something else worked out.
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