grannys gone and done it

[twisted-acres-farm]

Rhode Island Red male and the Rhode Island White female this is the breeding of the cinnamon queens.

 

[ChickenLady2014]

Goodnight everyone, its been a long day going to call it a night.

 

[ChickenLady2014]

Rhode Island Red male and the Rhode Island White female    this is the breeding of the cinnamon queens.  

I haven't had very good luck with hatchery Rhode island, mine have always been mean. I stay away from them.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

well this cross seem nice so far and the 1 roo they sent my mistake if a very very nice roo and protective of all the hens. Even against the other rooo's if they get to mean.

 

[Mutt Farm]

I was going to make this privet but changed my mind. I wanted to tell you about my sons father. I didnt know him that well. what I did know was that if he said he was going to do something then he was. I was told by drs. there was no way possible I could have a baby after my daughter. I tried fertility clinics the whole nine yards . It just wasnt happening. I met Allen where I worked . he was older 50 yrs. and we dated. well you know how it happens. we only ...the one time. thats how I know when I conceived. The dr called with results that I had no idea he was even checking for and he found me in the kitchen with the phone swinging by the cord next to me. I was finally able to tell him and I will never forget his words. Oh no, Oh God, Oh shiit. How about an abortion? Me who had tried so hard to have another is getting this suggestion . of course I told him no and because I told him it was impossible for me to have a child I didnt blame him. so I told him he could leave and I would not hold him responsible in any way shape or form. and I didnt. It started with weird phone calls, then stalking. It escalated he would come over and look through my windows. one time he brought a pack of diapers. thats when he put me on my back and stuck a knife up to me. He intended to kill me the baby then himself. for some reason he left. then he called . told me he was planning on killing himself. These words I will never forget either. I said, go ahead, and when your dead Robert will collect your social sec. and I wont worry about diapers. He will be better off with you dead. So he did. He made a will out , checked his life insurance to make sure it covered suicide . laid a plastic tarp down to not make a mess and shot himself in the heart in his garage so not to make a mess. I carried that guilt with me for years . I should of called his mom, sister someone. but i didnt . I dont have guilt now because I realize it was never about me or Robert . He needed more help then we could of ever gave him. I hope this helps you some how with your dad. You cant change what is to be. and if you were not talking for 5 years then you had a good reason not to and him not being here dont change that.

Granny...you posted this last night. I've read it over and over and over. I'm not sure if I have words to thank you enough for sharing that with me. Your words to him probably saved yours and Robert's lives. I had terrible guilt about my father. My Mom (they got divorced when I was in 4th grade) kept telling me to make amends, that if he died without a reconciliation that I would never forgive myself. I disowned him. He was a liar, a cheater a womanizer and a lecher. When he was diagnosed with Parkinsons, his young chick wife left him. I refused to move him to Ca into my home and care for him. You're not supposed to do that to your parents. He chose not to be old. Day after Christmas 10 or so years ago, he drove his car to a parking lot and shot himself in the stomach. Not so much Merry Christmas any more. He won.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

Good night to all I am beat and still need to have something for dinner.

Sweet Dreams Warm Fuzzies and Prayers for those in need

 

[Mutt Farm]

thinking the same thing newfie. !! 20 bucks . thats all i had when I lived in Mi. for 25 yrs. So glad to never see it again . then I thought about flowers or pump and wished I had brought it with me. LOL over $200 here.

I have a claw foot tub! Bought it for $100. They're going for $500 right now. I'm keeping it, thought. I wanted a hand pump to run the water through, but could never find a real one. Could probably find a fake one now that it's all in style.

I have 2 claw foot tubs. Laying out back. Wish I could get $200 cause I'm not hauling them cross country.

 

[Mutt Farm]

Was Twist squirming last night!

HE WAS!!! IT WAS AWESOME!!! Cat got his tongue!

 

[campingshaws]

Red, gold & black sexlinks & California greys coming tomorrow. I have had Amberlinks & the ISA browns

I had amberlinks! They would run on my legs like cats. Suuuuuuper bullies in the flock, though.

 

[Wishing4Wings]

Mutt, that's terrible about your dad, but 100% nothing to do with you as far as blame goes. I don't understand the reconciliation thing that people always make a big deal over. It's great if both parties are willing and or able, but it's not truly forgiveness if you don't feel it. You can't force it. Someone wants forgiveness for things they screwed up so they can feel better. It's just more selfishness. I'm not sure why you should feel bad. It wasn't you that caused the problem in the first place, and forgiveness for what he did needs to be earned, in my opinion.

However, you need to forgive for yourself so you can let it all go and enjoy Christmas. We are only human, and none of us perfect. I like granny's suggestion to write it all down on a paper and have a ceremonial burning. You don't have to forgive his actions and how he affected your childhood, but you can forgive his human failings, his weaknesses, which is something we all have. Society puts such high expectations on parents, and not all of them can come close to living up to those expectations. It was a huge revelation to realize my parents were actually just people. Having kids doesn't suddenly give parents special powers or dissolve their flaws, and they too are the products of how their parents raised them. For yourself only, maybe you can forgive a flawed and probably unhappy man.