I am about to LOSE my mind.

[chickensducks&agoose]

DH is in afghanistan, and I swear, everything is going wrong. I've got to mow my lawn, and my riding mower ran out of transmission oil (I saw oil on my chicken after it came out from underneath, and told my FIL, who checked the REGULAR oil, and said I was good... then I mowed the lawn (big lawn) 3 times, and apparently really screwed it up) so I can't use it, and I can't start the push mower (and smashed my finger trying). the kids are driving me up a wall, and on top of it all, I just found out that I can't go back to school this fall, because of financial issues, etc. Anyway, now I feel like I'm coming down with something, and my stomach hurts, my ear hurts and I have a fever. My family lives out of state, from 4.5 hours away to 24.5 hours away... and DH's family is not leaping up to help me. I am tired of screaming, nobody listens anyway, so I'm leaving the kids to their own devices, (fed them dinner, and they are not allowed to leave the house) making them put themselves to bed (I'm too tired), and I'm going to lay in bed and try to sleep... someone please wake me when this is over.

 

[crtrlovr]

so sorry for your trials... Firstly, I want to thank you and your DH for his service to this country and to all we hold dear. When people think of servicemen and women being on assignment somewhere, they often forget about the wives / moms trying to hold on and keep things together by themselves (basically) while fighting their own battles of loneliness, fatigue, frustration, financial issues, and not having anyone to lean on when THEY need "down time". I wish I were close enough to help -- you sound like you need a shoulder to cry on, a hug to rely on, and some good old fashioned help with your mowing.

 

[BayouPoules]

Wow! That sounds exactly like a day in our lives when my DH was in Iraq! EVERYTHING that could go wrong did,.. everything that could break ,. did!
Even had a hurricane.
I cried a lot that year,.. mostly from frustration and being tired, tired, tired!

Lots of people assume that military families have lots of help,.. they just see what's on the TV! they just don't know how hard it is,.. and then there is the waiting and watching the news every night.. wondering where your loved one is,.. what's he doing,. is he OK?.
I will be in prayer for you and for his safe return! He is not the only one in your family serving our country,.. YOU are too! And MY family honors you and thanks you!
May God bless you and send some help! Wish I was closer,. I would be honored to lend a hand,..
Yvette
Go Navy!

 

[drdoolittle]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine being in your position. People like you and your DH are what this country and our freedom are based on------thank you! Sounds like you not only need a good friend who will let you bend their ear, but a nice long bubble bath and a glass of wine! Then you should snuggle down in bed and get a good night's rest! Maybe things will seem better with the sunrise. I'll be thinking of you and praying for your sanity and the safety of your DH.

 

[BayouPoules]

Don't know if you have tried this route yet,..
What about Department of Defense
Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA)
The Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program provides up to $6,000 of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or credentials leading to employment in portable career fields.

Spouses can contact MilitaryOneSource for education counseling and help finding alternative funding sources. Call toll free at: 1.800.342.9647.

 

[AhBee01]

I hope thinks get better, I think you are brave for what you are going through. I can't imagine how I would be if I was in your shoes. Just know your never dealt more that you can handle, but some times your hand is harder to deal with. Take care and come vent, it will help some what!

 

[BlakesWife]

Like a previous poster said, first I want to thank you both for your sacrafices.
I won't post my similar struggles because at the end of the day, when I'm up in arms, I don't want to hear about someone else being in similar shoes, I just want to be listened to. What I find really helps (DH doesn't serve in the armed forces, but he works offshore on a drilling rig for 14 days where I get to be a single mom) is allowing the kids to just go outside and play while I sit in the house and just have serenity for a moment or two. If that doesn't work, I send them to bed early and grab myself a glass of wine. I hate days/weeks like that. Chin up, sweetie. No one said parenthood is all roses and daisy. The fact that you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders right now while your rock is thousands of miles away would be enough to drive anyone certifiably insane. The fact that you're not even close to that point goes to show ya that you're doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

 

[Cetawin]

I so understand what you are feeling....I have lost count of the total deployments but 5 deployments in the Middle East alone. Hang in there, do the best you can and take one step at a time.

Ask your dad, family or a friend/neighbor to borrow their mower, have the kids stay with grandpa for a day even if only for a couple of hours so you can get out of the house alone. And contact your DHs unit FRG (family readiness group), they can be pretty darned helpful. Remember that there are other wives going through the same thing...it helps to put your heads together....you would be surprised what can get accomplished,

 

[eac04]

From one military wife to another ... (((HUGS)))

It's been a huge issue with me that while our husbands are away, we as wives don't get the help and support we need. The year after DH came back from Iraq, it was ME with suicidal thoughts, not HIM. I was just so SPENT from having held my sh!t together for the entire year, and then when things were supposed to get back to normal, it wasn't exactly normal due to the readjustment issues. Not to mention that not ONCE did *I* get a THANK YOU. Sure they went up to my husband at airports and public places (and sometimes they still do when they see his tattoo) to thank him for his service. And of course I'm proud of him for everything he did and has ever done... but HELLO... GLUE THAT KEPT IT ALL TOGETHER HERE. Do we get recognition, do we get thank yous, do we get a darn day off. NO.

Anyway... rant over. Just know that there are other women out here that understand. TOTALLY WITHOUT A DOUBT UNDERSTAND that sometimes you just want to cry yourself to sleep because can't life throw you a bone once in a while? Does everything have to go wrong ALL THE TIME? Please God, let there be a good day amongst all this chaos. Just ONE day, a moment even, when we know- we feel - that you are looking down upon us and you're still with us. And God, please make the kids behave. We love them and all, but we're beginning to understand why some animals eat their young. (LOL)

Don't mean to hijack your thread. I'm in a similar position (DH is away for work -- in SOUTH AMERICA!) with FOUR kids and to top it all off I'm also pregnant. It's hard, so hard... I'm right there with ya girlfriend.

 

[TrystInn]

Navy wife here, wanting to let you know I feel your pain. *zen hugs*

First off, hire a teenager to do the lawn. It ain't worth your time or energy. Honestly.

Secondly, look into the 9/11 GI Bill. I'm not sure how long your hubby has been in, but you may qualify for it. I'm attending graduate school on it at the moment. Husband still hasn't figured out what he wants to do when he grows up - 18.5 years in the Navy, you'd think he'd know by now. So I'm making sure we have an income other than his retirement when the time comes.

Thirdly, time for a sit down with DH's family. It's time they put in a bit of sweat equity at your home and time with their grandkids. Draw up a schedule and make them stick to it.