I am so mad I could spit nails!

[mmajw]

If it doesnt affect you or your DH I would forget to pay the cable/satellite bill or at least not be able to afford the satellite boxes in their rooms if they have them.

Oppps I am so sorry I forgot to buy groceries guess you better get a job and buy your own or for the 16 yr old. I would buy only what is needed and make sure he prepares his meals himself after that.

If I ever spoke to my parents that way. I would have lost everything car, phone, tv, cell.

I think your strike is a great idea..

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
They are absolutely correct.

Well, thank you for speaking for everyone in this thread.

There are a few (seedcorn is one that stands out
Quote:
) that I am fairly sure from the sounds of it is NOT referring to what you all are, but not providing them food at all. Particularly since he said take away his food and bed.

I would have no problem with what you all are referring to, though.

Tell you what Asher, you keep on blessing kids while they spit on you and threaten you. For me, I will put a stop to it immediately. Missing one meal will not kill this kid. When his stomache rattles, he will get a quick attitude adjustment. This is a simple case of 2 punk kids that have gotten little parenting.

No where did I say abuse the kid. My kids grumble when assigned chores. My standard ?, do they want to trade spots w/me? Answer is always NO. Even good kids grumble but we are not talking about good kids.

 

[asher]

Mmmmkay. I'll absolutely feed my underage children. They will get the bare neccesities...because I had them and my job is to take care of them (which includes giving them food or having food in the house for them to eat). The rest of their lives would be miserable until they straightened up, but they would def. get food.

I still agree with the 18yr old getting the boot, though.

 

[seedcorn]

Go on strike? Let's see what will they do?

Cook their own food (leaving her w/dirty dishes, kitchen, etc) and their attitude will be "We can fend for ourselves, we don't need you". yeah that will work, that will show them who's boss and foster respect.

Can I move in also with those rules? I'd love to lay around, make my own meals and NEVER have to do anything while you pick up for me.........never have to worry about bills, etc. Sounds good to me........

 

[blueskylen]

There is a very effective program here in northern west virginia called the "challenge academy" - state sponsored, and sort of a military based camp/school. troubled/difficult teens can be sent here, and are trained to be better people. I think that the governor even will give free tuitions to students who graduate from there with good grades and recommendations from the teachers. Their success rate is very impressive.

Every state should have a program like this for problem kids.

I didn't read all of the posts about this, but I know from experience that nothing upsets a mother more than hearing that kind of language from a child she has raised.

bellieve me, i am a lot smarter now than i used to be when my daughter was a teenager - and now that she is a mother herself!

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
A parents job is to RAISE them and train them, not to make sure they get 3 squares a day, etc. When my Dad was 16 he was in China ready to invade Japan in the Marines. The 16 is old enough to understand consequences of his actions......if he isn't turning 17 or 18 isn't going to change that.

If missing a meal is abuse, I've been abused my whole life.

 

[asher]

We'll just have to agree to disagree, seedcorn.

 

[Sonia]

Not feeding a child IS abuse. Denying basic sustenence and shelter IS abuse. I know I said I'd stay away from this thread but **** nuff said. Sure don't cook for him but make sure there is food available.


Going away now before I say something to get myself banned.

 

[Cassandra]

Can I ask a question of lilshadow & DH?

Do you find that either of the kids is "just like" one of you?

I ask this because I have a son who just graduated high school. He will be 19 next month. And for a couple of years, things were really awful between us. (He did curse at me a couple of times, wouldn't clean up after himself, wouldn't do homework, performed poorly in school, cut school a lot.)

Because I have known since he was an infant that he is EXACTLY like me, it did help me to figure out the best way to deal with him. And now he is pointed in the right direction after some very rocky times.

What helped me the most was that in spite of all the drama that was going on at the time, I knew for certain it would pass and he would figure things out for himself (the hard way, just like me) and eventually turn out alright. And he is shaping up pretty well.

Cassandra

 

[Reinbeau]

Quote:
They are absolutely correct.

Well, thank you for speaking for everyone in this thread.

You are the one who said, in reply to this post:

Quote:
Quote:
So I am not speaking for everyone, I'm agreeing with those who agreed with me. I was only referring to making them make their own food, even at 16.

Quote:
) that I am fairly sure from the sounds of it is NOT referring to what you all are, but not providing them food at all. Particularly since he said take away his food and bed.

I would have no problem with what you all are referring to, though.

I would go further, however, and take away their posessions, computers, Ipods, gaming units, etc. Some even take away their doors. Until they earn respect by showing it they no longer get any themselves.

Of course my boys never got to that point, I wouldn't let them. I was the 'mean mother' who knew their friends, knew their friends' parents, and kept track of what they were doing and how they were doing it. Even while, during the latter part of their teen years, I held down a fulltime job to support us. Even when they towered over me they knew I'd brought them into this world and I would take them out (figuratively). By their teen years they aren't 'owed' anything but a roof over their heads and sufficient food in their bellies while they are minors. The original poster wasn't being treated to the respect a mother should receive. At this point it sounds as though drastic measures are necessary. I hope she takes them.