I am sooo not coping right now.

[redhen]

 

[Kassaundra]

oesdog, So sorry it hasn't gotten any better since our last conversation.

You still have your vacation coming up you really need it. So many people and situation pulling you in so many directions, almost all beyond your ability to change. I really hope you can find a way to de stress your own self ( I know you can't change the problems you face) but I mean find a way to cope better w/ your situation. Is there anyway you can steal a few minutes for yourself when your daughter comes to take care of your son? Meet up w/ a friend for coffee, or whatever would make you relax? Or if it is impossible to leave the house can you get a few minutes for yourself where you don't have to "be anyone for anybody"

One thing is for sure, you aren't alone, we are all here in cyberspace to offer whatever friendship and support we can through your computer screen.

 

[darkmatter]

Some years ago, an individual at the place I worked at the time wasn't a very responsible or self-reliant person. While he was gone for a few weeks, his parents moved without telling him and didn't leave a forwarding address.------------Not saying you should do that, but enjoy the fantasy of it anyway.

 

[sumi]

My mom used to work at a home for handicapped people who took excellent care of their patients. Is there anywhere in your area you can take your son? Even if it's just for awhile so you can get a break?
I agree the thing with the pills is stupid. If you have to take pills you have to! Who cares how it goes in?? Can you mash it up into a powder before giving it to them so they have to add it to his food? I know it's sneaky, but it's important, though not to them by the sounds of things. Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Good luck. s

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Maybe the rule about the pill has to do with adults being free to make choices, even when the choice is a bad one? Problem is, your son is not really an adult. Has be been declared legally incompetant? If so, then you should be able to dictate that they hide his pills if that is what is needed to get them into him. Alternatively, maybe they can convince him that the alternative to swallowing his pills is getting a shot (even though I am sure that is not an option)?

Call your elder son who seems to not have problems and tell him you need some help. Ask him to come for a day or two and give you a break; them you and dh find some hidey hole bed and breakfast to stay in for those two days and simply relax with no chores or worries other than taking care of yourself and dh.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
oh hun that's terrible. Anyone would be just as stressed. You obviously love your family and when they're hurting that hurts you. There is no shame in being stressed about it.

do you think you ca get support from your religious group? sometimes a community of like minded people can help a lot with coping.

 

[SillyChicken]

It sure sounds like you're doing this all on your own. You have two relativly healthy kids (right?) and another adult (DH) that should be able to take some of the burden off you. It sound like you just take charge (probably cause you've had to) of everything and don't deligate or ask for help from your family. Some times people get so caught up in thinking they have to manage everything, that they push people away that want to help, or don't realize they need help. Beer won't help, though it tastes mighty good!

Your DH is a grown man and should be able to manage his own pills and should monitor his own activity.... (perhaps reminding him that you really need him around would help). Perhaps he could help your daughter manage her meds as well, if she can't do it herself. To help take some of the burden off you.... what would happen to your family if you suffered a heart attack too? They need to step up and help.

Please don't take this as criticism, I don't mean it to be. I feel bad for you, I know I couldn't deal with a special needs person, so I admire your strength.

 

[sumi]

Quote:
I've grown up around handicapped people. My dad was paralysed from his ribs down and my grandfather is blind. It's difficult living with people who has special needs and they can make things unnecessarily hard for their carers.
Even relatively healthy adults sometimes needs care. I remember my grandfather reminding my gran every day to test her blood as she was diabetic and went into comas all the time, because she didn't take care. My mom had to check on my dad all the time too to make sure he was taking his medicines.
As for "what would happen to your family if..." I've been wondering the same thing. One pillar (of strength) shouldn't be holding the whole bridge.

 

[mikensara]

I have no sound advice i can give you but i can tell you i care

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
There is another thread about her DH's heart problems; he really is doing as much and more than he physically should--other than being willing to go to the emergency room when he needs to.