I can't cope anymore but no one wants to listen. No one seems bothered to care. My Brain injured son still doesn;t have his care package in place after all these months of waiting. Social services are full of lies and empty promises. Consequently DH and I have been doing all the care things. Like monitoring his finances cause he gives money to anyone who askes , making sure he has food and is taking his epilepsy tablets. Making sure he has his laundry done. Our other son who is very handicapped just had day surgery because he broke his front teeth off in a seizure. It is hard work as he has been bitting and nipping himself a lot. His arms are a state. My eldest boy hardly phones or contacts us eventhough he is only living 30 miles away. His French girlfriend doesn;t like me apparently? Thanks? Well he phoned us this week to let us know he was ok after the bus he uses rolled over after he got off. He doesn;t come here often and I feel like I lost him a longtime ago. My daughter is much more help but DH doesn;t like her doing too much cause she has a tiny baby. Social services wanted me to employ her to help with our handicapped son. They financed it which we thought was great but now they are just being horrible and basically want me to be an accountant and wages clark and all sorts and I don;t have training in that field and they never gave me any either. So its frankly more bother than worth. I am sooo tired of it. Instead of less stress I just feel a whole lot more. It feels like a DIY approach to care? Dh had a heart attack and now is recovering. He isn;t well but wont stop doing things he isn;t supposed to. I get so cross you wouldn't believe it. Folk tell me I am a nag but they wont be left to pick up the pices if/ when he has another heart attack. We are for Hospital Friday for more tests. He has elivated T waves. My Daughter was very depressed so we helped her out by tidying her whole house over the summer - it was a dump. She was really pleased and we also gave her money for clothes etc. She is a whole heap better now but she suffers with depression and has a heart murmur. It is Jessicas Birthday this week and we are making a massive cake - it looks fab. It is a big castle we have apparently over 20 folk comming here on Saterday for a party. Our place was vulanteered as it is bigger. I don;t mean to be a spoil sport but I don't want to have all the work to do? Invites are out so I can;t change it now and so I have to try to make the best. My mother has post polio syndrome and parkinsons. She is for surgery on her knee Monday. My Dad has a heart condition and he keeps phoning for help and advice etc. they are in their early 80s and I am miles away. I try to help and support them as much as I can especially since they lost their other great grandchild last year. He was drowned in a pond aged only 2yrs. So I send them pics of Jess often. So I am here having had another massive row with DH who stormed off to his sisters house. He prefers to be there than here even though she caused a whole load of bother for him by making stuff up about him and spreading it around the village. I am drinking beer and thinking I don;t want to do this anymore. I feel so tired and stressed and just out of everything. I spend my day cleaning up after everyone else. Dh takes himself off to his bed all the time because of the heart and I end up doing everything. now I have all these folk comming and everything and it should be a good time I should be looking foward to but instead I find myself just wanting to put Danny in the car and run it over a cliff someplace. But of course I can;t do that becuase its not the way to fix all this. I feel so stressed and I don;t want to get up in the mornings!!!!! Everyone thinks I am so together but I am not and I can;t do this anymore. How can I have another big row with DH when weve been such good friends for many many years and now he just walks out - I can;t do that cause guess what - I am stuck with our 24 yr old BABY! Wish I could just go run out on everything . Oesdog - wish I could just climb into this beer bottle and drown myself. ok now tell me to buck up and get on with it. cause I need you all to tell me to catch a grip others have it worse and stop feeling sorry for myself!