I have a question about adult step kids.

[codymax2]

You say she wasn't there for the daughter through the suicide attempt? Maybe she is just offended because she is not happy with her own mothering abilities? Or jealous? I'm curious as to how she would know you call them your kids too? Is it that you do it in front of her or she jsut doesn't like YOU period? I think as long as you and the "kids" are ok with it and there is nothing you can do for your relationship with her(if it's bad) then boo hoo on her. If your trying to be friendly with her and have to be around her then maybe twist your tongue around her to make her happy, and smile on the inside because you know how how you feel on the inside

Like a proud Mama and Gramma. Congrats BTW on all the new babies!!!!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Depends to me. If I had kids and died, I would hope they would find others they would call and feel as family. If the parent abandoned the kids, then to me, you raise them, they are your kids. With divorce though, that is a bit messier, especially with young kids. With adults, you have the benefit of asking what they want to be called, and that trumps what the mom would want them to be called to me. If my husband's mom wants to call me her daughter instead of daughter-in-law, that's cool with me because of the relationship we have. And no one else need have say in that.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
That is all I am asking is how you guys feel.

More questions, sorry!!!

Even as adult children, when everyone involved knows full well I am not their birth mother? I understand about younger kids, not wanting to confuse them and all. Under 18 I would never. I have been a part of their lives for 4 years now, saw one through a suicide attempt (no she wasn't there) and another talks to me far more than her mother for reasons that will remain private.

Please remember she is not ALL their birth mother either (that is a whole other Oprah!!!)

My feelings would apply to adult children too. My reasons for not liking it have more to do with my personal feelings than any damage it would do to the child.


Sheesh.....I am in a brutally honest mood today.

It is not very flattering at all on me.

I appreciate the honesty, really. I am seeking out how others feel, not kudos to me for loving them. I am trying to see her side, and I have to admit, it is really hard!!!!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Thing is, she is not my FB friend. She may see some common posts and I am not ashamed by how I feel about the kids and their children, my grandkids so to speak. She has always been possessive of them, even the ones that are not hers. I have heard back from one child that finds no offense in me calling her mine. And that is the difficult one!!!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
It was Ken's son, not her natural son, though she was a step mom for much of his life. Not the majority, nor did she leave a lasting impression. She knows of this through shared FB posts and nothing else. Though when the son did his best to take his hand off, she did show up at the hospital long enough to make sure everyone knew that Ken and I are not married, and therefore I am NOT his step mother.

To make a point; I am always friendly with her and when she makes remarks I just smile like I am dumb idiot. What else can I do, really? I don't want the kids upset.

 

[PotterWatch]

I can't guarantee that I wouldn't feel a little jealous or something, but I would hope that I would just be glad that my children have so many people to love them.

 

[codymax2]

Then just keep smilin you dumb idiot =P No really

Sounds like she is just jealous so as long as your respectful she'll look like the dumb one. That might be the hardest thing to do.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:

Good Lord. You said what I felt was rude to say and is true.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Heather, I kind of know you, and I do not see you as someone who would be jealous of someone else loving your kids. I mean, honestly? Given two weeks I could adopt them!!! They are good kids and cute to boot!!!

 

[PotterWatch]

Given how nastily we are treated by my husband's step mom, I'm pretty sure I would just be happy... but there is always that chance I will get mean and nasty in my increasing old age

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