I NEVER thought I would hear myself say..

[Vcomb]

me - "I have to go to the post office this morning."

dad - "Why?"

me - "Chickens."

dad - "Didn't you go Monday?"

me - "Yes, but I was shipping birds out that day, today is Wednesday so I have some to go pick up."

at which point dad just rolls his eyes and goes back to his breakfast.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

BUN-BUN, DO NOT TRY TO KILL PANZER! Bun is a 4 pound Fuzzy Lop. Panzer is a 97 pound Pitbull.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

"I'll call you back, I'm sneaking some ducklings under a chicken."

 

[ranchhand]

Me: "Yes, dear, I am sanding poop off an egg, with your sanding sponge, in the kitchen. What's your point?"

 

[jojo54]

These are funny!

 

[tls_ranch]

Today...

"Stop crying! It's just chicken poop!"

 

[welsummerchicks]

I think the horse business has a great many of those 'I hope no one overhears this' statements, but kids are really the best source.

'turn off that lawn mower, and get it off the carpet'

I think the best from my childhood comes from a rather embarrassing event at the zoo:

'Don't worry, honey, lion pee smell always washes out eventually'.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

I know what you mean...you wouldn't think aquarium maintainance had its own brand of humor...but the things I've said and then blushed after...

there's too much opportunity there.

 

[darkmatter]

To the Wife as I'm holding the Havaheart trapped Raccoon/Possum: "What do you mean I can't BBQ this?"

"If we don't tell the Kids it's Squirrel Pot Pie, how would they know?"

To one of the City Cousins that came to visit and was reluctant to eat fresh Mulberries from the Chicken Run because it might have bugs that crawled on it: "You just ate something that came out of a chickens butt this morning, whats wrong with mulberries?"

Having to explain to the Kids that never knew what venison backstrap was cause Mom & Dad always ate that when they were in school or asleep. "Hey, when you shoot the deer, you get to choose what parts you eat." This conversation resulted when my son helped me butcher a deer and mention he didn't ever remember eating those long strips I was cutting off the back.

Teaching my Son that when out hunting with your buddies and one of them steps on a ground hornets nest, freeze, the hornets will chase your buddies that are running and yelling. "You can laugh at them later"

 

[KristyHall]

"i told you not to leave your car window down, you pay for your own car cleaning bill"

when cats and chickens got into a visitor's car because they left their window down in our yard