in black and white a story about a border collie

[ChickenRadio]

this is my first book so it might not be to detailed any way i hope you like it

 

[luvinmychickens]

Quote:
Through PM, I could be your personal reviser and give you tips.

To see my writing, look for "I am no more than a battery hen" and also "Maizie's Life".

 

[ChickenRadio]

Quote:
Through PM, I could be your personal reviser and give you tips.

To see my writing, look for "I am no more than a battery hen" and also "Maizie's Life".

i'm reading "Maizie's life" right now so far i like it

 

[luvinmychickens]

Quote:
Through PM, I could be your personal reviser and give you tips.

To see my writing, look for "I am no more than a battery hen" and also "Maizie's Life".

i'm reading "Maizie's life" right now so far i like it

Thanks!

 

[luvinmychickens]

Where's the chapter?

 

[ChickenRadio]

chapter 1


Sam blaze Sara and I were sleeping when some humans came into the door. i woke up as big hands grabbed me. "shes a fine one" the tall man holding me said. "is she fierce?" another tall big handed man asked. "we need a guard dog"
"she is a fierce one alright" the man holding me said. i lily growled to prove it. "well... okay"the other man said "we'll take her" the man holding me put me back in the box. "are you alright." Sam asked when i was in
"yes i'm fine." i curled up and went back to sleep.

 

[ChickenRadio]

its short but i think it's good when it say's i it mean lily

 

[luvinmychickens]

good! I'll PM you the edited version.

 

[ChickenRadio]

okay

 

[Dapplepony]

Sis, please us PUNCTUATION! It helps greatly.