Is there a gracious way to deal with surprise houseguests?

[speckledhen]

Do people really do this?????? Geez, y'all must like on another planet from me. I have the opposite situation. No one in my DHs family ever comes to my house. In fact, every holiday season, we are called (or find out by word of mouth) that the family dinner will be held on such and such a date at someone's house. We are expected to come down. No one ever visits up here, even though I live in what many would consider a vacation home an hour from my FIL and both Sisters-in-law and BIL. I told my DH the other day that until someone wants to see me enough to come up and visit us for an afternoon, I refuse to be summoned to that side of town again.
Now, if that actually happened to me, they'd have to jump out of the way so as not to step on me rolling on the floor laughing. If I actually lost my mind and allowed them to stay overnight, I think that roosters crowing at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m., 5 a.m., on through breakfast might make them think twice about crashing here again.

 

[onebuggirl]

I tell people they are more than welcome but to make sure they either have a large tray of food with them or alcohol!!

 

[Nifty-Chicken]

What is interesting is how this is done in other cultures. A friend of mine in India said that it is rude to GIVE advanced notice that you are coming by. This boggled my mind... every single person I've dealt with in India have been the most hospitable of anybody I've met, so he explained it to me: If you give advance notice the people are so hostpitable that they feel obligated to cook a huge meal, clean the house, etc. etc. etc. If you just stop by, they can be hospitable without the hours of preparation.

Not sure how blanketly true (I think I just made up a word) this is, but I can see how it makes sense in some cultures.

 

[Rosalind]

Moving to India...Now there's an idea...

 

[FrChuckW]

I guess I am fortunate in that my family has long understood that you call before you come over to visit. I am also fortunate in that my family all live in other states that are at least a 4 hour or more drive away.

And while I love my family, they also understand that I live in a one bedroom house, that I have several different types of animals that I will not relocate for them and that they will have to either bring an air mattress to sleep on, a mobile home, or make hotel reservations for their stay.

I have had people drop by unexpectedly on me, usually when I am right in the middle of something, and while I may stop and chat briefly with them, I inform them that I am extremely busy doing whatever and I am sorry but they really should have called before coming over.

But I really like the idea of the two suitcases in a closet by the door and the two guard dogs idea. Especially if you inform them of something like, "Oh you're here just in time to babysit the dogs!"

 

[seismic wonder2]

Now, I grew up in Alabama and it was considered rude if you didn't offer to keep someone overnight or offer food etc to someone who visited your house.

But I was also taught never to accept, and to claim I allready have paid for the hotel room or I just ate a HUGE meal etc...
That way you're not rude for not asking and your not rude by overstaying your welcome.

The logic is strange but It works until someone says "Sure, I've got nothing to do for the next two weeks!"

Then Your stuck!

 

[lizardz]

When they drop by uninvited, welcome them with open arms, feed them a lovely dinner, give the dishes to the dogs to lick clean, put dishes back into cupboards. They probably won't be back and, most likely, word will spread and you won't have any other uninvited guests!

 

[seismic wonder2]

As clean as "cold water" can get them......"Here cold water....here boy!..."

 

[mrsengeseth]

Quote:
Wonderful!! I love this one!! That's great!!

 

[ams3651]

keep a suitcase and the numbers for local hotels nearby. Take out the suitcase and tell them you were just leaving and they will have to stay else where.

I find the people can only do what you let them do. Tell them right out, I told you I couldnt help you this week or you didnt ask so Im not prepared for you. Then if you family wants to gossip about it turn the tables. Did you know what cousin X did to me, well they just stopped by without even asking and......... word will get around, dont worry about what they think, they already think they can do what ever they want.

If my family showed up on my door step they would find no spare bedroom, an empty fridge, a messy house and the number for the B&B down the road.