Is this cheating? Need to vent

[punk-a-doodle]

Peu said:
Quote: Peu said it very well.

 

[debilorrah]

I am going to offer my 2 cents worth. A person that is committed to another does not do these kinds of things. Is it ACTUALLY cheating? No. But I would not put up with that behavior from Ken, not for a moment. That is a person looking to have an encounter outside the marriage. Not acceptable.

 

[goobhen]

Today on AOL they have the top four reasons men/women cheat. Evidently therapist consider any "relationship" that takes a person from their committed relationship is cheating whether or not the cheater has had sex or not. (Online gaming, dating, etc. etc.) And I tend to agree, that is just my opinion. Relationship can be fixed, if both parties are willing to work on it. If only one person does the "work" it will not. If the man doesn't think he has done wrong, he will keep doing it. I would not tolerate being treated like that. I agree with Red, Peu.

 

[EweSheep]

It IS cheating, emotionally and physically if he is doing it online. Its the temptation he is going after.

Marriage counseling would be very necessary if BOTH wants it to work!

 

[theoldchick]

Document every thing you have discovered about your husband's web affairs. Hire a private detective and allow him or her to verify what you suspect.

I recently studied a case of a man who had relationships with many, many women. A good looking fellow, this man could charm the dress off a woman in no time at all. And these were older women who were well established in their jobs. While they enjoyed the social life, they were not looking to be married.

One woman became suspicious when she accidentally knocked her boyfriend's phone onto the floor and she checked to see if it worked. She found a rather elicit message, and confronted him. He denied nothing and she left him.

Shortly after, she became ill and tested positive for HIV. She immediately called her ex to let him know he needed to be checked. He said he had and was negative. Suspicious, she hired a private detective to follow her ex-boyfriend, and learned man man had approx 10 women he was juggling shifts with.

With incredible audacity, she made contact with several of these women to tell them what was going on, and she suspected this man had aids. All the women tested positive for HIV. All of them formed a group to stop this man from spreading the disease. The virus was tested for certain genetic markers, and this particular virus was found to have certain genetic markers that made it different from other strains of HIV..

His last girlfriend managed to get a DNA sample from this man, and through all that fancy testing it was determined he had the same type of HIV virus the women had.

A girlfriend of 10 years past made contact with the police and told them she told this man she had aids and to be tested. He tested positive back then. Apparently he knew he had the disease and did nothing about it. He actually told the police all the women consented to unprotected sex and they got what they deserved.

So the man was brought in by the police, and he freely admitted to dating all these women, but swore he didn't know he had HIV. He claims he was regularly tested but could provide no documentation stating so. He went to court, and eventually he was put in prison where he succumbed to the vrus. ago. .

Happily (?) all these women are still alive today. But their lives have been changed by one person who thought cheating was okay.

He actually stated he was justified in his acts because having unprotected sex was okay because his partners wanted it that way.

The moral of this story is to get mad, get going, and do what you need to do to either save your marriage or get out and find someone better.

There are organizations out there to help you. Just ask.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I'll keep it simple. Do everything Red said.

 

[chickenzoo]

So sorry you're going through this.......

 

[nthehunt]

I have been there, in his shoe( no want ads, just cheating) he will be mad about the emails, I was but not at her for reading them,but at myself for being so stupid. When confronted I lied and got really defensive. There are many definitions of cheating, but in my opinion any time spent in secret talking texting emailing ect with someone you are not with is cheating. Some say that its just the chase that excites them, but most chases end with a catch and if he's willing to put so much effort into looking he will more than likely act on these impulses. At least that's how I was. Best thing that ever happened to me and our relationship was getting caught. I was heading down a dark path.

 

[EweSheep]

I have been there, in his shoe( no want ads, just cheating) he will be mad about the emails, I was but not at her for reading them,but at myself for being so stupid. When confronted I lied and got really defensive. There are many definitions of cheating, but in my opinion any time spent in secret talking texting emailing ect with someone you are not with is cheating. Some say that its just the chase that excites them, but most chases end with a catch and if he's willing to put so much effort into looking he will more than likely act on these impulses. At least that's how I was. Best thing that ever happened to me and our relationship was getting caught. I was heading down a dark path.

Smart man who knows the value of the relationship...it is not worth the risk, wasn't it?

 

[nthehunt]

Smart man who knows the value of the relationship...it is not worth the risk, wasn't it?

 

absolutely not worth the pain and heart ache you cause to someone who loves you, even though our relationship is stronger than ever, the fact that I hurt her so badly will always be my biggest regret