My best friend has depression and i don't know if i can help

[sawilliams]

I've never been a very assertive person, i try but most everything i say comes out jumbled and wrong.
I'm just trying to be her friend in the background now since she seems to like hanging out with her friend group and my cousin more then me, I'm thinking about distancing some of our stories as well (we're supposed to be writing a series of books together in our free time, sort of like a marvel cinematic universe except with books and just for fun, but it's been less then fun in recent times), i know that will take a lot of stress off both of us so win win (especially since I'm pursuing the culinary arts and pet care over creative writing so I'll have more time to study, i start a veterinary assistant class in a few months to see if it's right for me, and an animal care thing tomorrow). I don't know, i feel better now realizing that her mental health isn't all my responsibility, i don't feel as at fault when she has a break down.
Thank you very much, everybody on this thread has been great.

Good for you. And remember high school is the age that many many friends drift apart. Doing what is best for you first is alwaysthe best way to be assertive. You can't please everyone but you can please yourself.

 

[Jemma Rider]

Good for you. And remember high school is the age that many many friends drift apart. Doing what is best for you first is alwaysthe best way to be assertive. You can't please everyone but you can please yourself.

Thanks, I'm most certainly trying.

 

[MissChick@dee]

Being assertive for most does not come naturally or easily. I tend to be a pleaser or I’ll be quiet. I had to practice and learn and practice some more. Especially for women when done right it shows “leadership” it’s a skill. If you keep it in mind and try especially when your frustrated with a situation you just might find yourself more and more comfortable.

 

[Jemma Rider]

Being assertive for most does not come naturally or easily. I tend to be a pleaser or I’ll be quiet. I had to practice and learn and practice some more. Especially for women when done right it shows “leadership” it’s a skill. If you keep it in mind and try especially when your frustrated with a situation you just might find yourself more and more comfortable.

I'll certainly remember that thank you, I've never been very good at being assertive or anything else regarding social interaction. I just like for everybody to be happy so they'll leave me alone to be happy, if someone pushes me about something i care about I'll sort of wake up but even then i am a stuttering awkward mess, even around people i know well. I've gotten better recently, as far as socializing goes, still don't like it, animals have always been nicer to me then people and they're easier to understand. But i suppose most humans can be nice to

 

[MissChick@dee]

Yes I can relate. I love the T-shirt that says....The more I know people the more I like my dog.
LOL

 

[Jemma Rider]

I'm shutting down Pinterest. It was my mother who pointed it out to me a few days ago, that for the past year probably I've been having problems with my friend, it's all stemmed from my cousin and the friend group that didn't want me around. Not that that's anything new, I've never had many friends I'm sort of that odd person playing with the dog in the corner who knows a little about everything and a lot about what she likes so people avoid me a lot because of the awkwardness, but I've always expected better from my supposed best friend.
I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about it, and then i just told her that i need a lot of time to focus on myself for a while, and cut ties with a few different people i realize aren't good people for me to be around. I'm hoping that as time goes on, we'll end up being friends, not as close as before but just sort of normal friends.
I think she took it well, she replied this morning and everything seems okay.
My aunt helped as well, but the gist was that no ones mental health but my own should be my concern, and that if she's stressing me out to the point i lose sleep then the friendship may not be right for me. That's more or less what she said this was about a week ago and i have a horrible memory but this has definitely been stressful for me to the point where i lose sleep.
I'm hoping things change over time, i don't think I'm going to be reinstalling Pinterest anyway and without that we might just drift apart. I wish it had been stronger, we had all of these plans that are just dead now, but i admit i feel lighter without needed to talk to her daily.

 

[sawilliams]

Good for you hun.

 

[MissChick@dee]

There’s an old saying. People come into our lives for a reason or a season or for life.
Friends can come and go but you family is for life.
Perhaps the “reason” this person came into your life is .....the lessons it has taught you.
Perhaps her “season” is over and it’s time to move onto the next.
Life never stays nice and easy you’ll have storms we all do. It’s how you handle (cope) in those situations that defines you.
I work on myself everyday.
I forgive others and myself.
Tomorrow is always a new day!
Hope yours is Awesome.

 

[Brahma Chicken5000]

I guess I’m like you Jemma, I’ve never been a people person, I prefer to spend my time with my animals more than people. But in the past 3 years I have really made some very close and real friends. I never had that many friends when I was little. Up until 11th grade I would go to school, interact with my classmatess and that would be it. When I transferred to a new school that all changed. The people in my class were super nice and welcoming and I found myself actually forming friendships with my classmates. I’m still not much of a people person and I have a small ground of genuine friends (probably around 20). I still keep in touch with them even after high school. Yes it’s hard not having someone who shares the same likes and interests about you, but you will find your group of genuine friends.

 

[FarmerGirl101]