I was raised agnostic and my parents were very supportive of us finding our own beliefs. Still, growing up in the bible belt of the state as a timid kid, I was influenced by the culture around me and had developed the 'its just my imagination' view of the world. I have always seen things, but I couldn't quite believe in them. Then when I came to college my first real friend was a wiccan who took all of us open-minded yet spiritually ignorant people and opened our eyes. My friends were raised in a variety of religious environments, but we all had carefully, gradually told of our experiences, asked our questions, and came to trust eachother. Missa one day decided we should sit down in a dark room with a candle and focus as a group to see if we could use our energy to move the candle flame. This was the night of my awakening. It was in my dorm room and I was 18 years old. Whate happened was unexpected, and terrifying. First, ALL my friends have the same image of my death (hit by a car...and all saw the same outfit and street) then a spirit hostile to me for past conflicts (oh, yes, I believe in reincarnation!) steps into my friend and threatens me (and yes, the skeptics could say it is possible she faked that, but I know she couldn't act to save her life and I have never seen this look on her face, and her voice was barely recognizable, and she outright fainted and collapsed when it left her) and as a final blow, my Guardian, my beloved spirit companion who kept me looking into the dark on many long nights just knowing there was something out there, told me he had to leave. Well, rather he told them. He said that he had bent and broken many rules to stay with me as long as he had, but now that I had found others who could protect me he had to go. He threatened them and said they had better keep me safe, and then he was gone. And when he went, he cleared EVERYTHING out of the room. I have never been in a place so empty. It was a void in there for weeks. It was so quiet I couldn't sleep, I was so lonely I couln't think, So frightened I couldn't leave, So changed I could never go back.
My awakening was not gentle, but it was no one's fault. Things had been building to the breaking point for years and it just came out the first time there was sufficient energy and eyes open enough to let it in. I did not die, obviously, and after the second or third time the hostile spirit showed up and threatened me, she finally gave up and left me alone (probly because I finally stood up and pushed back against her instead of cowering behind my friends). And I have spoken with my Guardian again, and I now know how long he was with me, and why I care for him so much. I still wish he could be with me now, and I wish I understood why he can't. Anyway, it has been about nine years since then (time sure flies!) and I am comfortable in my spirituality and have happily assisted others as they discovered their own.
One of the coolest moments was facilitating the awakening of a friend of mine. He was raised catholic and was already in doubt because he is gay. We could all see him growing and building toward an awakening, but could also sense how delicate the balance was. If we said or did the wrong thing, if we showed him something at the wrong time, we would break him, scare him away, and he would be shut of for years if not forever. But then one night he returned from a party where he had had a drug-induced spiritual experience and was still glowing from having felt what he said was his connection to everyone he had ever known and feeling all the love each of them had for him all at once. I knew it was time. I told him that he didn't need marajuana for that, that he was capapble of touching that all on his own. At first he thought I was joking, but I rubbed my pals together and walked toward him as I created a ball of energy as strong and welcoming as I could. I placed it in his hands and watched his face change. He stared at me in wonder, then looked, bewildered, at the others in the room. The smiled, and each approached him, adding their energy to what I had given him. We could see the effect it had on him as each touched him, and I could feel the waves of...amazement and delight radiating from him. He came into the spiritual world bathed in friendly energy, surrounded by people who could help answer his questions. If only we were all so lucky. I am just glad he wasn't mad when he asked how long we had known about this, and how long we had known about him and kept him in the dark.
I feel honored to have helped him like that. Certainly it was one of the most positive spiritual experiences of my life.
, crazycoop might have wondered if he was talking to Hannibal Lecter.
