Parents- curious about your oppinons

[wyliefarms]

Thanks for the warning about the cost of kids increasing in High School....lol

Ditto on your post too!

 

[willheveland]

Nobody but you will really know the answer.I was 29 for my 1st daughter,34 for my second.Divorced at 36.Now I'm 40 raising two girls Mon-fri with them going to their moms on the weekends.It works because I work a 12 hour shift Fri,Sat.Sun.(off Mon-Thurs.)It's been rough on everybody,especially the kids,but we are managing.I probably won't marry again but do have a GF (my main squeeze),that makes the bad seem good.
Family is the best thing in the world,divorce is the worst.

You really have to do what's in your heart,but sadly be careful because things could change your whole life the next day. Will

 

[Dixiedoodle]

I agree, maturity is the key and IF you wait to have enough money--you'll never have kids.. They will take every minute, every penny and every nerve you have! Who really knows what makes a great parent except for LOVE and UNDERSTANDING! Asking yourself: Am I ready to give up 'my' life and become some one's everything for at least the next 18yrs???? LOL Hope you make the right decision for your life...Dixie

 

[chickenannie]

I encourage you to have kids, but please don't have them just because it "seems like the next step" now that you have gotten married. For women especially, who end up being the primary caregiver, it is important to spend at least a few years developing your own interests, skills, and dreams, especially if you're in your early 20s.

Sometimes women turn to the traditional mother/wife role as a way of avoiding the "hard work" of developing their own lives. This does not mean you can't be a great wife and mother and take a traditional role, but if you have developed your own life you end up having more to offer your children once you have them.

And otherwise you may end up living too much vicariously through your children and resent them down the road because they "kept you from living your own dreams". I know people are going to argue with me about this, but it needs to be said.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
AMEN!

 

[MagsC]

I was almost 20 when I had my first child and 27 when I had my last. I have five children.
I sure couldnt pick a age number when to start because its such an individual thing!
I AM glad I had my children younger though, it gave me more energy to deal with them as teenagers,lol.

Last one at home, age 16, and I am running out of energy(just kidding) so I guess I timed it right for me.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Number 2 reason......I always wanted to name a dog Tuck.....thought maybe I shouldn't tho for that very reason!!

 

[monarc23]

Quote:
You deffinatly have some good points, and Im deffinatly not arguing with you at all I think you make some very valid points but I must say about me personally that if I was wanting to have a kid because i felt it was the next step I would have deffinatly gotten pregnant soon after we got married when I was 19...I had everyone (mother in law especially) except my own mother telling us to start having kids...but we and ME especially wasn't ready yet, we barely had money for bills let alone food lol!

Now we are able to afford more things than ever and I'm feeling almost safe enough to consider it, however i'm still a little nervous about it (money wise only)...though as everyone says ifi keep thinking like that i'll never feel we make enough.

I've wanted to be a mother since i was a youngster...however then I used to say "giving birth looks painful i'll adopt!" and i would deffinatly love to adopt someday, but I want to try and have atleast one of my own first.

At 16 I started really having motherly instincts I guess you could say but I didn't want to struggle like my mom did with me when she was 16. She worked her butt off for me, I just always remember her being busy and me always being babysat by family because she was always working. My dad was away in the military this whole time. Then at 19, we decided we would wait until we had more $$$. I'd deffiatly say we have more $$ now at 24, and I really do not believe that a child will make me envious of a life that I don't have because even though others may think that feeding quail, my two indoor dogs, and 3 indoor cats will be hard to do (and normal chores like cleaning and dinner making) with having a child I highly doubt that.

Sure I'll have to do a juggling act to feed them and care for my child but i'll get it done...ofcourse i would be able to, or there'd be a lot of mothers out there with starving pets.

LOL! And to the one who mentioned I'd probably not have time to even play monopoly....that's okay...we only play it because we're bored.

Having a child i wouldnt have time to be bored too much to do.

A child will not only fill a void i've had for a while (of wanting my own lil one to raise up), but also it will give me a purpose that I don't feel I have much of right now other than being a wife and a caretaker to my critters.

The only thing i'd like to do someday is raise horses and train and breed them...however, we dont have enough acres here to do that, so with or without a child it's out of the question right now...other than that, I already have what I want, my husband, and my few pets.

Maybe when hubby and I are much much older and the kids are grown, I can get a small herd of minis to breed raise and train that'll do.

Niki

 

[monarc23]

Quote:
Number 2 reason......I always wanted to name a dog Tuck.....thought maybe I shouldn't tho for that very reason!!

HA HA Oh MY GOSH!!!

I had a cat named Tucker...and we live on the side of a mt in a valley (yes exactly how I said lol)....and i'd call him and all the neighbors knew when I was calling him because i had a specific call to call him it was "TUUUUUUU CCCKKKKERRRRRR KITTTTTTTYYY!!!" I can only imagine what that sounded like far away! HAHA!!!

Niki

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Number 2 reason......I always wanted to name a dog Tuck.....thought maybe I shouldn't tho for that very reason!!

HA HA Oh MY GOSH!!!

I had a cat named Tucker...and we live on the side of a mt in a valley (yes exactly how I said lol)....and i'd call him and all the neighbors knew when I was calling him because i had a specific call to call him it was "TUUUUUUU CCCKKKKERRRRRR KITTTTTTTYYY!!!" I can only imagine what that sounded like far away! HAHA!!!

Niki

LOL!