Parents- curious about your oppinons

[patandchickens]

Quote:
Just as food for thought -- you will not be able to do much of this once you have kids, and what you can (must!) do will change from trivial to difficult. No monopoly (not for some years anyhow, unless your baby happens to be a convenient napper and you can squeeze in a quick game, but I guarantee you will find more important things to do with your time, like change the furnace filter or take a nap). Not so much ability to watch tv and do yard work - or anyhow, they take on an exciting new challenge factor. Putting groceries away and feeding animals become things about which you will lie awake nights seeking a more optimal strategy. Etc.

You will be amazed at how much change will be involved from your current lifestyle, even though you don't think you're doing much in the first place. Basically, right now you can do whatever you want whenever you want without interruption. Hah! Prepare to lose that luxury

BTW, when and if you ever do decide to "try", may I heartily recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (here is a link to it on amazon.com). Your odds of getting pregnant are MUCH improved by knowing exactly when to, um, "do it"

Seriously helpful IMHO (speaking as someone who did not start trying to conceive until her very late 30s and was thus under considerable time pressure - I really do not think we'd have 2 kids now without the information in that book)

Good luck,

Pat

 

[Chicken Woman]

When you are over being selfish and ready to put your own needs wants and desires aside in order to make your child come first. I am 53 and have 6 yes 6 children. I had my first at 25 and I think I was still not quite ready. I have five between 30 and 22 and then I have an 11 yr. old.
WoW I really think I am a much better mom now than when I was younger and so uptight.
I now have 2 granchildren under 12 months and that is a blast !!!!!

 

[Morning Dove]

When to start having kids is hard to say, because it does depend on maturity, but I have always said...


"No teens in my house when I'm 50!" So that means no kids after 32....

I'm 31, I have two boys, and I had my tubes tied last month.

Having someone who will watch your kido for free is a blessing! For each child I had to quit my job and stay home for a few years, and it isn't easy, money wise. It's totally worth it, but not easy. To save money I use cloth diapers, breast feed, shop at GoodWill and I'm learning to eat beans, Oh and raising Chickens!

I'd find out what the max income to qualify for WIC for a family of 3 is, and that should be a good minimum guideline on how much money a family should make for one kid, for your local area.

Dove

 

[happyhen]

NEVER! Don't even think about having kids!

No money, no time for yourself, no time for your spouse. No sleep, no peace, no rest. No privacy.

Constant mess, endless cleaning, washing, picking-up, feeding, playing, educating, training.

Constant worry, dashed dreams (ours, not theirs), fears, panic, frenzy, chaos!

They suck you dry 24/7/365, and give nothing in return!

DH and I would never have it any other way!

 

[Just-Like-Hatching]

Married at 18 and 19. 1st daughter 11 months later, then two more daughters 13 months apart. Married 28 years now and adopted two more children. So I now have children 26,25,24,7, and 6. Never made a plan just let nature take its course and have no regrets. Sure more money would have been great. But, I also think more money would have taken some of the time we had together away. Now that I am 47 and have a 6 and 7 year old, I can say things are a lot easier than they were with the older kids. However, I would not change a thing about how we did everything.

 

[s6bee]

Quote:
I know it's not the answers you may want, but it is well said by Debiraymond- You may think you have everything all planned out, but it never works the way you expected.
Keep an open mind, trust your gut, be patient, don't make them grow up too fast, you'll never have enough money, you'll never get enough sleep, enjoy the crying it soon turns into "no", then "you don't love me", then "I'll be home late", then "I'll try and get home next weekend" and so on. Just enjoy the ride.

 

[mom'sfolly]

The best part about having kids is seeing the people they are becoming. I'm an older mommy and my take is that I have more patience now then when I was younger but much less energy. If you think you might have reproductive issues sooner is probably better than later, but you never know what life will bring. I had one friend who was having trouble concieving who asked another friend how long it took her to get pregnant...I'll never forget the reply. My second friend said "about 15 minutes". Hopefully when you decide, you'll have the second friend's luck.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

I'm not a parent yet, and don't want to be (yet). I'm 26 and married; just not interested in a baby yet.

However, the best advice given to me by my parents was to make sure you have a stable marriage and know how to work out relationship issues like an adult before having children. Give yourself some time to honeymoon and enjoy one another's companionship before adding another person to the mix. Children, from what I've read and heard, can put an incredible strain on a relationship and can take away the romance if you aren't committed to working on keeping it there.

Sometimes, you'll have to choose the needs of your spouse over your kids, and sometimes the needs of your kids over your spouse. You need to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page about everything, including house rules, how strict you'll be, and education. It makes things so much easier when Mom and Dad are do things the same way.

 

[wyliefarms]

Hubby and I have been married 12 years and we have 5 kids. Ages 12-2 years old.

I was done after #3 and so was hubby we had 3 girls, the odds were against us to have a boy.

I start getting in shape and trainin to run a marathon and find out I am pregnant with #4. When I was 6 months pregnant I ran a 1/2 marathon. (I know crazy, but well worth it.)
2 months after birth (a boy) hubby gets fixed. (I took him and watched the procedure, people have questioned this.)

16 months later.....I find out I am pregnant with #5! Hubby had 2 swimmers when I had him go back in....considered infertile....but I must be fertile mertill. #5(a boy) just turned 2 on Sunday.

I wouldn't wish it anyother way either!

My MIL also told me during this time she was praying for grandchildren. I asked her to change her prayer to pray for the grandchildren she has, since we were the only option for having kids! God's plans aren't our plans all the time

In regards to medical expenses, hospitals and doctors will set up payment plans interest free. We have 11 more payments on #5 then he is offically paid for! (We got rid of maturnity after hubby was fixed...oops) It costs about $11,000 to have a child with no insurance.

Your possible infertility, my sister-in-law was told the same thing and ended up have 2 kids. A month before she concieved #2 the doctor recommended a hysterecomy and she wanted to wait. Anything is possible

My hubby has made the same amount for several years now.(family owned business) Money is tighter, but we do more things at home as a family instead of going out to eat, movie theatre, etc. Chickens are a big past time at our house!!

I stay at home and homeschool our kids too. wouldn't have it any other way.

One thing I have noticed is when one child is on a growth spurt and eating a ton, another one isn't wanting to eat. so I haven't had to increase my meal sizes yet!

Hand me downs are awesome! It is like Christmas morning when people drop off clothes. I actually just got a call tonight from a SIL with some clothes for #2.

Good luck on your decision, you won't regret it!

 

[Leah-yes I know I'm crazy]

There are people who warn you about the amount of time you will not have for yourself without looking at the other side of the coin. I enjoy taking my kids to the (free) beach and park. I enjoy having dinner with my kids. I love making dinner with my kids. I like being involved with scouts and sunday school and sports and dance and band. The money thing is tough...try to pay off student loans if you have them because it can be a bone of contention between spouses to have things like that hanging over your head if you are not working, but generally kids don't cost that much till high school.