Please, people... just be NICE.

[Mahonri]

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Quote:
Oh... oops! I thought I was being vague. Sorry!

No disrespect intended!

 

[thaiturkey]

Quote:
Oh, would someone's god please make me so good as to be able to do that always.

I try, really I do but some mean cusses are so mean that I do respond. But you can do so without making personal or insulting remarks in return. We don't have to bow to all of the bullies in this world.

Let's keep this in proportion. Most posters that I have seen on BYC are helpful, polite and friendly. Only a few threads turn sour and only a few, very few, posters deliberately make trouble. Inevitably in such a huge community as BYC we can live with a little bit of trouble form time to time In any case, the Mods.step in swiftly and professionally when things get out of hand.

 

[Beekissed]

I think that sometimes folks ask for advice or help with a particular something but don't really like the advice or help offered and can quickly get offended. I rarely ever offer advice here or in my personal life unless asked. When it is asked for, all bets are off.

Like what to do with an injured species of wildlife or even an injured chicken, or a rant about a neighbor in which the fault is a little murky, etc. When asking such a diverse group what they "think" about such things, you will often get just that....what they think. Such is life.

I make it a point to not ask what folks think about this or that unless I'm prepared to listen to all the opinions and weigh the value of their wisdom on the subject.

 

[justbugged]

I know what you mean eenie. I have learned that I have learned to avoid some members here. I have also learned that some people will always have to have the last word. I think that they can have it, after all they clearly seem to need it, and then there are the others that seem not be able to read the all the words before they post. I often worry about those who can not read and comprehend well. But I have learned not to add to the problem that a disability like this can have. It is very sad though when it makes things more difficult for everyone. I am not sure that some people even begin to understand the impact of their posts at times. When I think this happening to a thread I have learned to just leave. There is nothing that I can say or do to make it better. There is a bit of an art knowing if you should even open some threads, and there are often clues as to whether or not any of us should read them or much less respond to them. That is something that we all need to learn. It isn't always easy. I am old enough to be your grandma, and I am still trying to figure out some of these things.

I do know that I have also meet wonderful people like you and you sister here, and I will be a better person for having met you. I agree this is a place to be nice.

 

[SilverPhoenix]

Quote:
Well-said, well-said!

I agree.

I think we all come across threads where we disagree with something that someone is saying, it's just a matter of being respectful towards all parties when saying what we say about that topic, or choosing to hold our tongues instead if that's the better option. I think sometimes people need to take more time to make sure what they're saying comes across as being respectful to all sides. One can disagree with a topic, even strongly disagree with a topic, and still show a lot of respect and word things gently! I always try to be diplomatic, even when discussing something hotly controversial to me. It can be hard at times and I'm certain I've failed before (who hasn't?), but I still always try to keep things cool and level-headed.

I've only seen a few instances of meanness thankfully, and they've usually been brief, isolated incidences. BYC is a great community, let's all keep making sure it stays that way! The mods do a great job, the members mostly keep their words in line, and it's only on occasion that things get out of hand. We all should just keep an eye on ourselves to make sure we don't say something that might be hurtful.

 

[welsummerchicks]

BB dynamics are interesting,, the following are general comments, not about this board but about boards in general, I don't know enough about this particular board to comment on it.

Things to watch out for -

ganging up on individuals who disagree. 'Momentum' where emotions get more intense and a story's facts 'drift' the more often it is repeated.

Opinions represented as facts. Typical 'errors of logic' tactics in arguments and debates.

Each board has a culture and a point of view. Disagree at your own peril. Those who agree are popular, others are not.

Rules. Not all are clear. What is acceptable to one person is not to another.

Don't assume you 'know' someone by how they write or what they say on a bb. It is like trying to say what a puzzle is of by looking at one very small piece.

Quite a few posters who are 'long winded' or 'have the last word' may be laid up, or isolated, without a support system or much they can do. Or they may have insomnia. Or that may simply be how they write or edit, and nothing more. Those who seem 'angry' may not be at all. Those who seem 'sweet', conversely, may not be at all. Most of 'what you see' on a bb is going to tell you very, very little about the person.

Don't get too excited by reading something and being 'sure' it's 'true'. You've all heard the jokes about the fat old guy who poses as a rich 21 year old with a red ferarri. There are no guarantees that how a person seems is how they really are or that anything they say is true. There are no 'standards of excellence' on the web.

People always, always have a reason WHY they take a certain position. Learning to respect other people's experience and try to understand HOW they got to their point of view, should be more important than the typical clever sounding bb verbal jousting to see who comes out 'on top'.

Just discarding the information the person presents or saying it's irrelevant might lead to a typical bb problem - brain atrophy. Never ever considering any other point of view's possible merits, leads to people who are limited and rigid in their thinking. Studies indicate people stick to web sites that confirm what they already believe, rather than as a earning or transformative activity.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
Well-said, well-said!

I agree.

I think we all come across threads where we disagree with something that someone is saying, it's just a matter of being respectful towards all parties when saying what we say about that topic, or choosing to hold our tongues instead if that's the better option. I think sometimes people need to take more time to make sure what they're saying comes across as being respectful to all sides. One can disagree with a topic, even strongly disagree with a topic, and still show a lot of respect and word things gently! I always try to be diplomatic, even when discussing something hotly controversial to me. It can be hard at times and I'm certain I've failed before (who hasn't?), but I still always try to keep things cool and level-headed.

I've only seen a few instances of meanness thankfully, and they've usually been brief, isolated incidences. BYC is a great community, let's all keep making sure it stays that way! The mods do a great job, the members mostly keep their words in line, and it's only on occasion that things get out of hand. We all should just keep an eye on ourselves to make sure we don't say something that might be hurtful.

2x

I certainly have failed a few times and landed on my face but I got back up and got a little smarter as I went on and developed a bit of the thick skin if I don't like the comments or advises our BYC members gave me. The more I look at their suggestions, mill it over, sleep on it, it makes sense in their perspective. It is OK to disagree on the issues we will NEVER agree on.

I think Mother Nature is pulling the pranks on us....has the Earth tilted that it makes us a little "picking on a good thing" going on? Full moon? Or reality of our livehood is threatened?

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:

Where in the world did you learn how to write so fiiiiiiine?????? Certainly thought provoking!

 

[welsummerchicks]

Thanks, I have to write an essay for an application this week, but anyway am always practicing writing, I just love it. I think any subject is good practice and a good exercise.

I'm afraid someone is going to scream if you quote such a long post, LOL! I wrote it, and then went back to edit and said, there has to be a way to make this shorter. Yes, EVEN I do think that sometimes, LOL.

I think the hardest thing to learn is that if someone says, 'I disagree', it doesn't mean they're a bad person or trying to be mean.