A quick update for all of you who were so kind and sent such warm wishes, I wish I had better news. We have been allowing her to stay at our home and use our resources while we worked on finding a low priced starter.
So, I came home last night, knowing my Dh had already bought the starter. He got it for $40 at a local recycling lot. Of course, he used $40 of our grocery money to do this for this woman. But we were happy to do it because we thought we were helping someone who really needed it.
Anyway, so I come home last night from work. I work out of town so I was gone literally all day. i got in about 1130 last night to find her in the house, on the phone with her "pseudo" boyfriend(more on him in a minute) and watching a movie. I wasn't too perturbed about it since we have no tv in the "apartment". So I was exhausted but need to check my emails. As I'm at the computer, she gets off the phone and continues to watch the movie. At 1205 her "boyfriend" calls my house...My two phones are very shrill and I jumped to shut them up before they woke my husband who gets up for work at 5am.
She asks me if I'm "mad at her" and I told her it wasn't me she needed to worry about. It would be my Dh who would be angry if he was woken up by a stupid phone at 12 in the morning. She then tells me that her "boyfriend" is coming to pick her up and is it ok for him to call if he gets lost. I was shocked! It's after midnight and some man is driving to my home to pick her up to "go out" when she can't even afford to buy cigarettes??? Not to mention, what about fixing her car? I said to her, "you're going out for the weekend when we are working hard to get you car fixed for you??"
I tell you, this set me off. First the disrespectful behavior with the phone calls and then to just run off for a weekend with some guy she met not but 2 weeks prior when we were sacrificing to help her!!! I was so mad, I went to bed. Well about 445 this morning my dog got sick and totally woke me up. So i got up to clean the mess and I go down stairs to find her sitting at my table in the relative dark. The "boyfriend" still hadn't shown up and was apparently lost. OH my, I was livid!!! So about fifteen minutes later he shows up. He doesn't even have the decency to pull into the drive or come to the door. It was like he was picking up a hooker on the side of the road.
So, I'm angry and sleepy and just all around irritated. I try to go back to bed and get up about 730. This is when I discover that I am totally out of toilet paper. I just bought a pack on tuesday, plus I had some still in the bathroom. Where did it all go???? 7 rolls in 3 days!!! The I have no more paper towels and all the soda is gone too.
That's it, I said, I 'm not gonna be eaten out of house and home and disrespected. So, i go to work and I'm stewing something awful all the way down to VA. Then, I remember her "friend" (who is caring for the daughter) was called from my cell. So, I call her. Well I'll tell you what, I got an earful!
Seems this lady has been living like this for 10+ years. She apperently had a home and a career and custody of all 3 of her kids. Now she has none of that. Her DD has been living with the friend for 3 months(not 1 like she told me) and she HAS NOT paid a dime of the $1000 a month that child recieves from the state for her care. The friend informed me that the lady used to live with them for over a year before they too got tired of being used and disrespected.
The friend was given temp custody because the state was threatening to intercede and thus take her money and put the child in foster care. The child is 15 and according to the friend, is 5'9" and 95 lbs. This is after gaining 15 lbs in the past 3 months. The child has NOTHING. The freind told me the girl had no shoes and only two changes of clothes when she came to live with her again.
The woman goes home with any man that looks side ways at her. According to the friend, she would disappear for days even weeks with no calls or anything. The friend demanded the temp custody so she could at least care for the girl if she had to go to the doctor or ER. The friend told me, "we don't need the money. We have been very blessed. The money is for the child's care and it isn't to spend on boyfriends and parties." Which seems to be what she spend the money on. The friend says that the woman will get the money and by the following Monday all of it is gone. She said she can't even fathom what it's being spent on , but it's not the child.
Oh, and the "disability" check the girl gets is supposedly because she has severe ADHD. The friend told me that she and the girl's counselor think this is a load of garbage. The girl is the "calmest sweetest and most patient child" plus, she's a straight A student.
So now, the "boyfriend" is some guy from Trenton NJ who drove to Allentown PA to troll for a "hooker"(friend's word). He picked her up at a laundry mat. "But he's nice and he bought me dinner" she told me. He's supposedly 35 and lives with his mother. He drives his mother's BMW. She says he has a job....I'm not optimistic on that one. The friend told me that there is a rash of men who drive from NJ to PA to pick up girls to take them to places like Atlantic City to pimp them out. "But he's a nice guy". Right! She told me on Monday that his "suggestion" to make money was for her to "date" and take money from the "dates" to help pay her bills. Further, when he called the other night and I knew who he was, he asked her how I knew it was him. Umm, caller ID genius! Seems he was none too happy that I could recognize him on the phone.
I am amazed by this whole turn of events. Maybe I'm too gullible IDK. I thought we were helping this down and out lady. It seems we were only helping her to keep living a lifestyle she seems to like. Picking up strange men and going on weekend "booty calls" is NOT what we agreed to help with. My Dh drove up to Allentown today and put the starter in her car. I got home tonight and I packed her belongings up. So when she bothers to return, her "boyfriend"/pimp can just take her back up there - since he has to drive right past the car to go back to his mommy's house in NJ!!!
but have been like this since i was about 22. grew up fast 
