*Sigh* Week old baby and possibly a divorce. *Warning: RANT!!!*

[preppy*hippie*chick]

I have one of those. I left for work at 6:30 AM. Arrived home at 2:30 PM. He was sleeping on both departure and arrival. He left for work at 4PM and arrived back home at 12:30 AM ( Has longer commute). So he walks in, looks around dining room and in a nasty tone, says "What did YOU get done today?"

Well, lets see... I worked, like you. Unlike you, I washed my significant other's work clothes, baked a cake, did dishes, cleaned countertop as I have to EVERY day due to significant other's wee hour feeding frenzy which leaves assorted ant attractants all over the counter, I went to the library and did countless other chores - many of which make his life easier and for what?

Oh, and did I mention that he's an alcoholic? Really, really bad one. FIVE OMVI convictions!!!!

I feel like an idiot typing this, and all I can say is that at this point, the only reason I continue to allow his presence here is money. House & both cars are mine.

 

[redhen]

preppy*hippie*chick :

I have one of those. I left for work at 6:30 AM. Arrived home at 2:30 PM. He was sleeping on both departure and arrival. He left for work at 4PM and arrived back home at 12:30 AM ( Has longer commute). So he walks in, looks around dining room and in a nasty tone, says "What did YOU get done today?"

Well, lets see... I worked, like you. Unlike you, I washed my significant other's work clothes, baked a cake, did dishes, cleaned countertop as I have to EVERY day due to significant other's wee hour feeding frenzy which leaves assorted ant attractants all over the counter, I went to the library and did countless other chores - many of which make his life easier and for what?

Oh, and did I mention that he's an alcoholic? Really, really bad one. FIVE OMVI convictions!!!!

I feel like an idiot typing this, and all I can say is that at this point, the only reason I continue to allow his presence here is money. House & both cars are mine.

 

[chickeypoo]

i have to admit there are rare occasions that he helps but they don't make up for everything else that he doesn't help to do.

I also do everything for the kids for school, bake cakes/cupcakes, make easter the easter eggs for the middle daughters school easter egg hunt, just the things like that.

Many many

to those who need them...

and many many

to the hubbies who need to help their wives more around the house.

 

[Bettacreek]

Hrmm. We FINALLY got to watch Fireproof. Guess what? Hubby cried through the movie, and then afterwards was actually acting like a human being. I was sleeping, and he was trying to tend to both kids, but eventually had to wake me up, because, not mentioning any names, *somebody* couldn't wait for his dad to change his diaper (we usually change the little guy first, then change our oldest when they get up from a nap), so, *somebody* strips the diaper and starts playing in the poo. Yes, he really is that quick, I've had him do this to me maybe a week or two ago, and it happens in seconds, and you don't hear him doing it when he's behind your back. So, I get a "OH MY GOD! Honey, (yeah, this one was weird, he NEVER calls me that or any other "pet" names) please, I'm sorry, I need your help" Then after everything is taken care of (shower, getting both boys fed, etc) I get another apology and "now I understand why you were so mad at me when this happened to you the other day".

ETA: I was mad at him because he was being a total crab to me, acting like I was some royal *ahem* because I had to wake him up. I wasn't mad at him (or the boys) for the incident itself.

Hopefully it's more than just a blip of brightness. Maybe I'll use Fireproof as a "study guide" and make him watch it every time he starts being a (insert choice word here).

So... Really, ladies, if you can get your hubbies to sit down and watch a movie, I definately have to recommend this movie. It's a good movie regardless, but, if you can get him to sit his punk butt down and watch, maybe something will dawn on him. And, the best part, it's not really a chick-flick. Hubby actually enjoyed the movie, as it does have some action in it.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
So glad to hear there may have been a breakthrough for him!

 

[ams3651]

I liked Fireproof too ,although some of the acting could have been better it had a great lesson. We watched it a couple weeks after he came back (was gone a year away, not because of the relationship) The year before he had to go we were getting better. We changed alot in the past year, learned how to talk to each other and let down walls we didnt know we had, and miss each other alot. He cried at the end of the movie but of course tried to hide it. He has started going to church since he has been home and I hoped watching the movie would help him see himself and it wouldnt be a movie to place blame as much as to open the eyes. I do recommend it. So glad it helped you and I hope things keep getting better.

 

[Big Chicken Little]

They say talk is cheap but sometimes that is just what is needed to get a plan of action. With all the stress life throws at us today we sometimes loose sight of what is really important. Fireproof is one great movie and more people should see it on a first date. It is great that it got to your husband ...after all you love one another and should want to do for the other because of that love. Stay in touch with one another and care about each other and your love will grow so strong. God gave us the ability to love all we have to do as humans is really use this gift. God Bless you and yours !!

 

[Sissy]

May we all have greater wisdom
More patience,, and better understanding
of each other.

 

[jonathansenn]

Betta,

I am glad you were able to watch that "Fireproof". If you go to your local bookstore, they should have a fireproof journal you could get for your husband (my wife bought it for me. Although we don't have these problems anymore it is still fun to go through it with her). Hopefully, this marks a change for the better in your life! Still praying for you and your kids.

 

[Bettacreek]

Pfft. I don't know if I give him too much credit when he DOES decide to do something helpful, or if I'm just so frustrated that when he refuses to help with something else, that I get more upset than I should. He is helping with the boys in the morning (which means that I'm getting to sleep, until I go back to work), but other than that, I have to get into a fight with him to help. He STILL won't wash the dishes, and any time I ask for help with something, I wait 10-60 minutes, then have to ask again, then listen to him complain while he's doing it, or he simply doesn't do it. Tonight, he asked me "is there something you want to tell me" which was a random question, no malice or anything, so I took advantage, replying with "yes, I wish you would shape up". Then explained to him that he also needs to help me with the household chores. He came back with reminding me that he was the one that washed all of our dishes when I was spring cleaning, and he carried everything down to the truck that we were getting rid of. Which, yes, he did, but, I was the one packing and sorting everything into the boxes that he carried down, I had to wash over 12 loads of laundry that I then folded, sorted and packed up for donation, plus I was digging out all of our closets and taking care of our oldest. I was pregnant with the little guy at the time, then put myself into early labor because of all of it. And, with the whole carrying everything down, I was carrying stuff down after I gave birth, but ended up gushing blood because it was less than a week after giving birth that I was back to spring cleaning, so I had to stop carrying stuff down. I also had to clean out the fridge, freezers, scrub them down, scrub the walls and ceiling (above the stove), then I was taking care of BOTH boys, plus all of the animals, then taking hubby to and from work, etc, etc. So, we did about the same amount of work (counting him going to work). If I used his frame of mind, then I shouldn't have to take care of the boys for the next week, I shouldn't have to cook or clean anything either, and just wash dishes and carry anything down that needs to go down.

Last Sunday night, he did actually help out with garbage a little bit, taking a bag down that was too heavy for me to lift, then brought the cans back in from the curb. And, like I said, he's been helping with the boys in the mornings.

But, the thing that drives me nuts is, I FINALLY found out a way to go back to work, so he won't take care of the boys at ALL anymore (except maybe weekends), and he's not helping around the house as it is, so I know that once I go back to work, he will go to work and that will be it, while I'll be caring for the boys and taking care of about 98% of the household, plus working 40+ hours a week. And, I know that he'll still insult me and claim that I do absolutely nothing, and that my job is a "Mickey Mouse Club", because I only make 85% (actually 83.333% if you want to be exact) of what he makes, if I don't get overtime. When I get overtime, then he makes 85% of what I make, because I have a cut-off at work, they only let you get so many hours of overtime. But, I mean, I bust my tush at work, and I'm about due for a raise (yeah!) and I'm just tired of the crap. It's pretty sad when you work at a job dealing with rude people all day, but you enjoy it simply because you get to get out, and people praise you for being one of the top employees, instead of degrading you all of the time.

At this point, I love my husband, but, I've been thinking about moving out. The only thing that sucks is that I've been wanting to buy a small plot of land with our own place, and won't be able to do that without hubby. In fact, if I move out, it will be a struggle. I've been thinking about what would be the best move to make at this point, and I've been also wondering about working for the rest of the year, saving everything that I make, then going for nursing school and living off of hubby's salary while I'm in school, then working for another year or so, then getting out of here. The thing is, that's a three year plan, and, well, it's just ssoooooo frustrating, plus, I feel guilty just thinking about it, because, well, that would basically be using him for financial stability, then ditching him. I just wish he would shape the heck up, because I DON'T want to leave him, I just can't deal with his habits and lack of love and respect.

*Sigh* I'm sorry that I've been boiling over here, I appreciate the support, but again, I apologize that it's always so negative.