Pfft. I don't know if I give him too much credit when he DOES decide to do something helpful, or if I'm just so frustrated that when he refuses to help with something else, that I get more upset than I should. He is helping with the boys in the morning (which means that I'm getting to sleep, until I go back to work), but other than that, I have to get into a fight with him to help. He STILL won't wash the dishes, and any time I ask for help with something, I wait 10-60 minutes, then have to ask again, then listen to him complain while he's doing it, or he simply doesn't do it. Tonight, he asked me "is there something you want to tell me" which was a random question, no malice or anything, so I took advantage, replying with "yes, I wish you would shape up". Then explained to him that he also needs to help me with the household chores. He came back with reminding me that he was the one that washed all of our dishes when I was spring cleaning, and he carried everything down to the truck that we were getting rid of. Which, yes, he did, but, I was the one packing and sorting everything into the boxes that he carried down, I had to wash over 12 loads of laundry that I then folded, sorted and packed up for donation, plus I was digging out all of our closets and taking care of our oldest. I was pregnant with the little guy at the time, then put myself into early labor because of all of it. And, with the whole carrying everything down, I was carrying stuff down after I gave birth, but ended up gushing blood because it was less than a week after giving birth that I was back to spring cleaning, so I had to stop carrying stuff down. I also had to clean out the fridge, freezers, scrub them down, scrub the walls and ceiling (above the stove), then I was taking care of BOTH boys, plus all of the animals, then taking hubby to and from work, etc, etc. So, we did about the same amount of work (counting him going to work). If I used his frame of mind, then I shouldn't have to take care of the boys for the next week, I shouldn't have to cook or clean anything either, and just wash dishes and carry anything down that needs to go down.
Last Sunday night, he did actually help out with garbage a little bit, taking a bag down that was too heavy for me to lift, then brought the cans back in from the curb. And, like I said, he's been helping with the boys in the mornings.
But, the thing that drives me nuts is, I FINALLY found out a way to go back to work, so he won't take care of the boys at ALL anymore (except maybe weekends), and he's not helping around the house as it is, so I know that once I go back to work, he will go to work and that will be it, while I'll be caring for the boys and taking care of about 98% of the household, plus working 40+ hours a week. And, I know that he'll still insult me and claim that I do absolutely nothing, and that my job is a "Mickey Mouse Club", because I only make 85% (actually 83.333% if you want to be exact) of what he makes, if I don't get overtime. When I get overtime, then he makes 85% of what I make, because I have a cut-off at work, they only let you get so many hours of overtime. But, I mean, I bust my tush at work, and I'm about due for a raise (yeah!) and I'm just tired of the crap. It's pretty sad when you work at a job dealing with rude people all day, but you enjoy it simply because you get to get out, and people praise you for being one of the top employees, instead of degrading you all of the time.
At this point, I love my husband, but, I've been thinking about moving out. The only thing that sucks is that I've been wanting to buy a small plot of land with our own place, and won't be able to do that without hubby. In fact, if I move out, it will be a struggle. I've been thinking about what would be the best move to make at this point, and I've been also wondering about working for the rest of the year, saving everything that I make, then going for nursing school and living off of hubby's salary while I'm in school, then working for another year or so, then getting out of here. The thing is, that's a three year plan, and, well, it's just ssoooooo frustrating, plus, I feel guilty just thinking about it, because, well, that would basically be using him for financial stability, then ditching him. I just wish he would shape the heck up, because I DON'T want to leave him, I just can't deal with his habits and lack of love and respect.
*Sigh* I'm sorry that I've been boiling over here, I appreciate the support, but again, I apologize that it's always so negative.
