Well, hubby and I have been on the rocks for quite some time now. The usual, 90-10 relationship. Everything has to revolve around hubby. Me getting sleep isn't important, I'm not important enough to get more than 2-3 hour naps, but he deserves a full sleep because he works third shift (I work swing shift, whenever they need me, I'm just off on maternity leave). Anyways, video games have become more important to hubby than his children and wife. I have to ask kindly two or three times, then get mean and nasty and demand that he helps, and ten minutes later, he'll get off his game and give a half-xxx hand. Anyways, today, he had off, I was sleeping, the baby started crying, I called to him to get him to care for the baby so that I could sleep. He ignored me, baby kept crying, so I managed to roll out of bed to take care of the baby. Then our 16 month old starts to cry. Hubby ignores him. I told him that he had to help me out, I couldn't take care of both of them at the same time. He, again, ignores me. I asked again, nicely to help, again, no response. That's when I get mean and tell him to get off his xxxx and help out with his kids. That's when I get called a xxxx, but at least he decides to get up and help. He tells me that I do absolutely nothing around our place (I admit, the chores have been slacked on, I just don't feel like getting off my butt half of the time anymore).
Finally, I decide that I'm going to my parent's place to get a full 6 hours of sleep. I leave the kids with hubby, he asks where I'm going, I tell him, he throws a fit. My response, "I don't do anything around here, so I know I won't be missed". Fast forward 5 hours, I stopped in to make sure everything was alright (I had my phone on, but figured I should check in anyways). And, no, I didn't get any sleep, I was so upset. I come in, hubby was sleeping. I was home for about five minutes and both children started crying at the same time. I grab the youngest to get a bottle ready, and wake hubby up to get our oldest (our oldest is easiest to care for, he self feeds, etc). After everything is taken care of, I say that I'm heading back to my parent's place, and spending the night. Hubby goes off on a tangent about how he didn't get much sleep today and that it's bull that I would leave him here on his own with two kids to care for, and that I had better be taking them with me. I didn't, I left them with him and went and took a nap, but then my sister showed up (she's been having problems with her boyfriend as well). THEN, I get a call from hubby, answer it, and he says that we need to talk (which, is what I have been saying to him, that we need to act like adults and sit down and talk through our marriage or give it up and be done, because constant fighting isn't working out for any one of us). He says that I have to come home, because he also needs to get something from the store. That's fine, I know talking face to face is best, as long as it's done in a civilized manner. I get home, he goes to the store and returns (I had my doubts to be honest). Then the first thing he says, "who is he?" Umm, excuse me, I can't handle YOU, let alone another man on the side. My parents split because of cheating, and we just don't need that extra mess addled into our already mangled marriage. Then, he says, "well, I think we should seperate, not divorce yet, just seperate".
This has been an ongoing battle since our first was born, I'm sole caretaker of BOTH babies. Yes, he brings home the biggest chunk of bread, but I work my butt off at work too, and then I come home, make his lunch and help him get ready for work (he doesn't do this for me). I make breakfast, lunch (if I'm home) and dinner for our family, and when I'm not home to make lunch, I have containers of food set aside that hubby can just heat and give to our toddler to eat. The added stress of another baby (not baby's fault by any means, I'm not blaming either of the kids) just kicked it into overdrive. So, I guess we'll be trying a "trial seperation". Yay.
I don't know how to feel. I feel like my world is collapsing, but then I almost feel like it's just collapsing to make room for a new life. I feel guilty for feeling the second part, I really, really do love my husband dearly, I just feel like it's not mutual.
Anyways, sorry for the long rant, I just had to get this off my chest, cry my eyes out a little more and move on.
If this is final, I swear, if I ever date again, I'll strangle myself for being an idiot. I've come to the conclusion that men are all about themselves and can't possibly have any empathy for anybody else.
Finally, I decide that I'm going to my parent's place to get a full 6 hours of sleep. I leave the kids with hubby, he asks where I'm going, I tell him, he throws a fit. My response, "I don't do anything around here, so I know I won't be missed". Fast forward 5 hours, I stopped in to make sure everything was alright (I had my phone on, but figured I should check in anyways). And, no, I didn't get any sleep, I was so upset. I come in, hubby was sleeping. I was home for about five minutes and both children started crying at the same time. I grab the youngest to get a bottle ready, and wake hubby up to get our oldest (our oldest is easiest to care for, he self feeds, etc). After everything is taken care of, I say that I'm heading back to my parent's place, and spending the night. Hubby goes off on a tangent about how he didn't get much sleep today and that it's bull that I would leave him here on his own with two kids to care for, and that I had better be taking them with me. I didn't, I left them with him and went and took a nap, but then my sister showed up (she's been having problems with her boyfriend as well). THEN, I get a call from hubby, answer it, and he says that we need to talk (which, is what I have been saying to him, that we need to act like adults and sit down and talk through our marriage or give it up and be done, because constant fighting isn't working out for any one of us). He says that I have to come home, because he also needs to get something from the store. That's fine, I know talking face to face is best, as long as it's done in a civilized manner. I get home, he goes to the store and returns (I had my doubts to be honest). Then the first thing he says, "who is he?" Umm, excuse me, I can't handle YOU, let alone another man on the side. My parents split because of cheating, and we just don't need that extra mess addled into our already mangled marriage. Then, he says, "well, I think we should seperate, not divorce yet, just seperate".
This has been an ongoing battle since our first was born, I'm sole caretaker of BOTH babies. Yes, he brings home the biggest chunk of bread, but I work my butt off at work too, and then I come home, make his lunch and help him get ready for work (he doesn't do this for me). I make breakfast, lunch (if I'm home) and dinner for our family, and when I'm not home to make lunch, I have containers of food set aside that hubby can just heat and give to our toddler to eat. The added stress of another baby (not baby's fault by any means, I'm not blaming either of the kids) just kicked it into overdrive. So, I guess we'll be trying a "trial seperation". Yay.
I don't know how to feel. I feel like my world is collapsing, but then I almost feel like it's just collapsing to make room for a new life. I feel guilty for feeling the second part, I really, really do love my husband dearly, I just feel like it's not mutual.
Anyways, sorry for the long rant, I just had to get this off my chest, cry my eyes out a little more and move on.
If this is final, I swear, if I ever date again, I'll strangle myself for being an idiot. I've come to the conclusion that men are all about themselves and can't possibly have any empathy for anybody else.
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