So I went to church for the first time in years...

MeatKing

Songster
10 Years
Sep 13, 2009
1,216
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Near Ottawa Ontario Canada
I'm new to this small rural area, about 5 years new... And really not a big church goer, but with small kids.. I thought well it can't be bad for them, plus they will go to Catholic School, so may as well prepair them.. This women comes up to me and is like, so are you passing through or new in town? I was like, um niether... So she said, oh you thought you'd just starting coming. So I said, yes.. I hope my girls aren't a problem, (my girls were what you would expect of any young kids in church) So she said no of course not and walked off..
The problem I have is, she didn't introduce herself, or welcome me, just came over to get the gossip and left... hmmm Mass was over, so it's not like she was needing to sit back down in a hurry... There was probley no more than 30-40 people there. So a very rural quiet church...
Am I being overly parniod, or was this not just rude on her behalf? I already felt a little out've place, that didn't really help
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She was probably just trying to say hi, but was not too good at doing that. Some people are better at social situations than others.
 
Generally they hang out until they find out what they want to know.

Are you new in town?

Are you married?

Divorced?

Do you have kids?

Just how Christian, Jewish, Muslim are you?

Where did you go to church before?

What is your goal (how Christian, Jewish, Muslim do you want to be)?
 
Just like a good restaurant, don't judge it on just one visit. Go again, talk to several people. Just because you're new doesn't mean you can't approach someone and say, "Hi, I'm new to this church, could you help me figure out where to go/ what to do/ where the restrooms are/etc.? " Usually people are very happy to help and are just afraid to make the first move.

Give 'em another chance.
 
Some churches are just more welcoming than others. Personally, I think that you as a "stranger" should have been given more of a welcome. Keep trying different churches until you find one that is a better fit. I have never found that "better fit."
 
I'm sorry you weren't more warmly received. The lady could (should?) have introduced herself, and welcomed you to ____Parish. It was rude, in my opinion, to just get what she wanted to know and leave like that. I wouldn't worry about your kids making noise or acting up. Keep going, they'll get used to it soon enough. Bring dolls, coloring books, picture books, even some snacks for them. Sit near the front and try to explain what is going on. I'm so happy you were at Mass today! I hope soon you have lots of friends, and can feel more relaxed there.
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Isn't there some kind of unwritten rule that there has to be one of them in EVERY congregation? She/he knows everything about everyone. Just ask them. If you have an hour or three.
 
Stick out your hand and introduce yourself if the other person forgets. And don't feel you have to apologize for having children. (unless they are really, really bad! )
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