soon to be 19 yr old DD just told me.........UPdate.......post1

[ducks4you]

Describe in DETAIL how much FUN labor is!!

THEN, describe your personal "getting no sleep at night for weeks and weeks." Then, describe how after your mom/relatives left, NO ONE else changed diapers, and that's fun, too. Tell her about the super workout you get when your uterus socks you in the gut while it shrinks!! (more fun) Tell her how you bleed for weeks afterwards!!

Tell her about the days when you changed your shirt five times because 4 shirts got spit up on.

Please, moderators, don't delete this. SOMEBODY has to tell our youth that havin' babies is ONLY fun when you are an ADULT!

 

[silkiechicken]

Yeah, in the US, if you have that document saying you are married, you are considered "one" by gov't standards, lowers your taxes, you can file jointly, insurance can be shared at employer reduced rates, if both are working, you can pick which insurance coverage is best for the kid and so on. There are advantages to being married, and one of the reasons the "right to be married" is an issue.

That said, just make sure DD and her SO want a kid for the right reasons.

As long as the thread stays civil and the OP doesn't think this is too much information for the entire world to read, which can often be forgotten in a community like ours, it will remain open.

 

[FortWorthChicks]

Oh... well I am sorry for her. A baby is the best thing you can do in life I truly believe but man.... you are making quite a sacrifice when you have one. Starting early is an even bigger sacrifice as you never get youth back.

While I am sure you have hopes for her to enjoy a few years sewing some oats it appears she is going to jump in head first.


does she live with you?.... maybe you could start slipping her the pill haha. J/K

 

[Dar]

Quote:
OOO dont forget to tell her how hard it is to get the poo smell out from under your finger nail if the cloth happens to slip while changing a poopy diaper... LOL

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
So, they are "ready" for the lifelong responsibility of a helpless baby, but they aren't 'ready' for the responsibility & commitment of marriage? Not willing to join their names, their finances, the LIVES in a legally binding contract... whopping piece of paper.... but they're willing to risk a child's life, risk bringing a defenseless child into this insane world, by joining on this joint little project? What happens if they decide they don't like morning sickness or swollen ankles after all? What happens if one/both don't like getting up in the middle of the night? What about giving up the splurges? Dinners out? New shoes? Have they looked at their budget to see if they can support a child? Do they live in a 2+ bedroom or will they also be trying to find another place to live? Can they find one that's bigger, in their budget, AND is a safe place to have a baby?

These are the things I'd be mentioning to my DD if she had this scheme in mind. And I'd have numbers handy. Diapers, Formula, Clothes, Day Care, Reports on Local schools... and if those suck then costs of local private schools, college tuition now, and projected price in 18 more years, insurance rates for children. Not to mention I'd go to the Sex Offender Registry and type in their address... just so they'll know what kind of predators are lurking around just waiting for a cute little boy or girl to play with.

That may sound a little extreme, but IMHO no one in their right mind would purposely bring a child into the world without knowing those things. Accidents happen, TOTALLY different story there, but actually planning a baby I think you need to know all you can about the money, time, and possible issues involved BEFORE you commit and it's too late to back out.

Is there a Planned Parenthood near you? If so, you may want to contact them (or someone similar) and ask their advice. Legal adult, you can't do anything but advise, but Knowledge is Power!! They may have leads on the info that could help, or to someone else who could. Did she graduate from this area? If so, try calling the High School. Perhaps the counselor there can point you in the right direction. Just some ideas... don't know your area... but I hope maybe it helps.

 

[Intheswamp]

Quote:
No. That is a very wrong place for this type of advice.

Ed

 

[agnes_day]

absolutely. planned parenthood is nothing short of evil. but to be honest..if she and her boyfriend have seriously thought this out, there isnt much that can be done..they are adults and i know at that age, i never took anyones advice even though i shouldve!

 

[chixie]

Quote:
unfortunately she lives with her SO. so I can't slip her the pill. I am praying she comes to her senses...

 

[Nupine]

What is Planned Parenthood? I have heard of it but have no clue what that is.

I guess I'll be the old fashioned one. I am sorry, but I don't have any advice really. But I can't BELIEVE how much cohabitation exists in this world. BLAH! What is up with living with someone and ''trying them out'' before marraige? If anyone can explain to me why anyone thinks cohabitation and esspecially having children before marriage is ok, I would love that. I'm a die-hard Christian, and I would NEVER do something like that, why would I want to anger my Father like that?

 

[silkiechicken]

Planned parent hood provides medical care, prenatal, post natal, and general womens health care at a low cost or no cost to women who are otherwise not insured or cannot get healthcare otherwise. They are a resource for women's health and may have resources to help women decide what is right for them.

As for co habitation, I guess that depends on culture too, as not everyone in this world is of a particular religion or belief system.