SOOOOOO stinkin mad at my daughter I could spit nails!

[Germaine_11.20]

Debi

They are frustrating aren't they. Me... I couldn't just toss them out though, the worry would hurt me more than being kicked out would hurt them.

I could however pitch a tent in the yard and toss her stuff into that! Give her a roll of toilet paper, a hose and a flashlight and she's good to go.

Then if she wants to take off - it is her decision.

 

[BarkerChickens]

Quote:
We are hiring, and we train drivers. 11741 East Santa Fe Ave, Hesperia. Pay is low, but the benefits are full. They train them for their class B license to drive. Send him over.

Awesome!! I will let him know and send him over ASAP!! He has a clean driving record and such.

Meanwhile, I am still floored that she would mess up like that?!?!

I don't get it...

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
We are hiring, and we train drivers. 11741 East Santa Fe Ave, Hesperia. Pay is low, but the benefits are full. They train them for their class B license to drive. Send him over.

Awesome!! I will let him know and send him over ASAP!! He has a clean driving record and such.

Meanwhile, I am still floored that she would mess up like that?!?!

I don't get it...

Gotta be a clean record for 10 years. Send him to the DMV and have him bring his H6 printout from them.

 

[cafarmgirl]

Quote:
Love this idea!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Love this idea!

hehehehe me too. I will see how Ken feels in the morning. We are BOTH biog fans of Sheriff Joe in Arizona......

 

[Mattemma]

It is tough when you put your foot down saying "do this or I will have to do that".Your child will know your word means nothing if you do not do what you said you would.Best option would be to tell your dd,"Go get a job where no drug test is needed.Work your arse off because I am giving you till X to move out."Set the date and be firm.Otherwise what do you get to look forward too...being on the intervention show? Sorry your kiddo has taken this path. I hope things work out for her.

Another option would be to do an intervention now.Require treatment and counseling for drugs via in patient care,and then follow up with those required steps of getting a job and moving out.Take what action you can for your own peace,but in the end it will be her choosing what fate she wants for herself.

 

[sonew123]

Deb this rots but I can tell you she blew it because that job was handed to her-she didnt earn nor want it. Im so sorry. Ive been through it with siblings-things were handed to them and they blew it everytime-jobs-colleges-drug rehabs etc.... It wasn't until my parents put their foot down and kicked both my siblings out that their lives FINALLY starting to click-the first couple years of them being out on their own was so tough on everyone-no one spoke to eachother. Then little by little the communication doors opened and the family started to jive again. They never moved back in and Parents did not financially help them again-Now they are successful people with their own businesses-It can happen Deb your on the right track with her just get Kenny to realize that now and not later

 

[babylady4]

Quote:
Love this idea!

hehehehe me too. I will see how Ken feels in the morning. We are BOTH biog fans of Sheriff Joe in Arizona......

X3!!!!!

She has had enough time, she should not have a time limit to get out. She knew what was coming and is now testing to see if you would REALLY do what you said. Kick her to the curb sista!

If she comes crawling back after a period of time and is willing to take weekly drug tests and pay rent; that is another story.......

 

[Germaine_11.20]

Quote:
Love this idea!

hehehehe me too. I will see how Ken feels in the morning. We are BOTH biog fans of Sheriff Joe in Arizona......

I agree with everyone else Debi, she really does need to get out, but to just throw someone out in this day and age is kind of scary. And she is a woman which to me, makes it worse.

If she doesn't have anywhere else to go...friends ect- where will she end up, on the streets?

That's why I suggested the tent. I could do that and stick to it.

I have found that it is best to give an actual time limit when issuing an ultimatum. A reasonable time limit and then remind them once in awhile when you can see they aren't following through. And then follow through.

Back in January did you just give an open ended ultimatum or did you give a cut off date? If you did then she knew better and put the tent up and toss her out.

If there was no real "date" set, then set one now and let her know this is IT. The last time and last chance she gets before she is out of there. I think reasonable would be 2 to 3 weeks to get a job or get in school.

Let her know that she needs to start looking for a place of her own anyway. Give her an exact date when she has to be out.

Some kids need a little more spelling it out for them to get up and get it done. As for the drug issue, she'd be in the tent by today if it were my daughter. No drugs allowed in my house, no way!!! She wants to do that, then have fun in the tent sweetie.

 

[Ed62]

Sorry to hear about the problem. Raising kids is not easy, that's for sure. If you stick with the "Tough Love" approach, you'll never have to worry about what you did as a parent. If things got worse, and you didn't hold your ground, you might blame yourself. Best of luck.

Situations like this seem to be the norm in this day and age. It happens in most families, regardless of how hard you try.

Ed