THe i want to slap my stepdaughter upside her head rant by Conny

[ksacres]

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Mission: Impossible to Mission: Accomplished!

 

[debilorrah]

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Mission: Impossible to Mission: Accomplished!

Huh?

 

[ksacres]

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Have some caffeine and then come read the posts again.

 

[Chicky Tocks]

My DH and I play the "I Love You More" game as well.
He says I love you and sometimes I'll respond, "I Love You More"
and vice versa. If he got the last I love you more, I'll get him back sometimes through a text message, that I love him more.

It's not about me loving him more than anyone else loves him, it's about me loving him more than he loves me and/or him loving me more that I love him game...

 

[debilorrah]

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Have some caffeine and then come read the posts again.

 

[ksacres]

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Yep, my dh says "I love you more" more than I do. I only play once in a while when I'm feeling silly. It's a game. I know we both love each other, but sometimes it's just fun.

Or sometimes, if I'm feeling contrary, when he says "I love you more" I'll say "yep"

 

[SarahBeth9394]

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Now my hubby and I don't have myspace account but I'm not going to look down on another married couple because they do. A wife sending a message to her hubby about the two of them is not inviting anything. I do think that the suggested reason for the account is a huge assumption. It's not up to her or her husband on how to deal with this. It's up to all of them. They all need to be respectful, put in the effort, and the 18 year old needs to grow up. The original message sent to her hubby had nothing to do with anyone other than her and her hubby.

I wasnt looking down on anyone first of all... and second, Okay, I'll concede to the fact of I assumed that is the reason for her husbands Myspace account, it seemed logical based on the entire posting and subsequent information provided; so I'll clarify and state that no married couples I know (and most have been married anywhere from 10 -20+ years) do not have a MySpace account and post to one another in that manner.

My question is why put "Remember I love you more" out there when you know his kids, who according to her own post - have issues and have done this before? I can see posting "Remember I love you" but why the "more" part?

Again... we dont know all of the facts here, just one side

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Sorry but sometimes we read things differently than in the intent they were typed. No worries.

"I love you more" is something that married couples have said to each other for ages. The step daughter is so insecure and resentful that she automatically assumed it was a dig on her when it had nothing to do with her. This wasn't her myspace. It was her fathers who received a sweet nothings message from his wife, completely misinterpreted it, and lashed out calling her father's wife what amounts to a wh---. That is completely intolerable.

 

[HennysMom]

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Mission: Impossible to Mission: Accomplished!

LOL! Now I feel special

Do I get a badge or sticker? *snickering*

No in all seriousness - I wish the OP all the best in this endeavor; I agree the husband shouldnt allow the kid to talk disrespectful to his current wife, however that being said - I too look at it from the daughters point of view. Flip it around, how did that child read that post on her father's page? This is what I'm saying that we dont know the entire story... she could have read it - as innocent as the OP meant it... as "OMG - How DARE she say she loves my father more than I do! I've been with him all my life!" and it set off a chain reaction... for years now.

Perhaps all of this has been a miscommunication all these years that neither has actually sat down and discussed - and it's a circumstance just like this that caused it? We just dont know...and maybe, neither do they in all honesty. Glass half full or half empty... right?

Connie - I wish you all the best in this situation sweetie...

 

[TexasVet]

I too have to agree with Katy. You're the interloper here, and you're the adult. Your stepdaughter is doing what teens do, just in spades because you came between her and her father.

I'd make a quick trip to the bookstore to find a book on relationships and how to change the dynamics of your family triangle. Once your response to her prodding changes, she'll change her actions or give up.

Let me give you an example... If I said it was a beautiful sunny day, my son would say it was overcast. If I said he looked nice today, he'd ask if I was saying he usually looked like crap. And so on, and so on. No matter what I said, we ended up in an argument... me trying to rationally explain my side, and him countering whatever I said. After reading some books, I learned (and OMG it was hard!) to say, "Ok, whatever." At first it drove him nuts, and he'd escalate his comments and actions. Two days later, he said "You're not going there anymore, are you?" Once he figured out that nothing he said/did was going to get more than "Ok, whatever" or "whatever you say" out of me, he quit picking fights.

Remember that as long as you allow her to provoke a response, she's in control.

Oh, and drop the Myspace postings. If you want to post a message to hubby, use private email, IM, or the phone. Myspace is really for kids.

Kathy, Bellville TX

 

[tdgill]

saying I love you more is just asking for a fight it seems.....

sorry but thats what it looks like to me.

and kids will be disrespectful at times, whether they're your own or not. respect also works both ways. acknowledge her relationship with her dad, and let her know that it is special and you will never be able to come between or compete. She sees you as a threat and/or a punching bag. Take the wind outa her sail by not letting her get to you and she'll have to take out her attitude on someone else. It takes two people to fight. There's no reason for you to be threatened by each other.