What is wrong with our younger generation?

[annaraven]

I was never taught to write thank you notes and I'm nearly 50. I have written thank you cards after a job interview. That's the only time and that was only because I'd read about it in a book on job strategies.

I was shocked when I got thank you notes from the two little girls next door who gave little gifts to for their birthday. Aside from a couple of wedding thank you cards, I'd never gotten a thank you card in my life. Never expected them either.

If I give a gift, it's nice to know the person received it, but I would never expect them to send me a thank you card, or call me just for that. If they mention it next time we meet, that's cool, but I won't be surprised if they forget, especially people with a new baby.

So, I guess I'm just saying don't expect everyone to have the same views on gift etiquette. That doesn't mean they're "rude", just that they're following different ways of doing things. If you're there to give the gift, I imagine they would say thank you. But if you're not there, then I suspect they thought the thanks would be delivered the same way as the gift - through the people who brought it.

 

[Fierlin1182]

I have to agree with annaraven, I have never written a thank-you note in my life. I usually pop out a quick 'cheers' or 'thanks' when the item is bought to me, but if that's not possible I'd mention it the next time we met.

I would say I am part of the 'younger generation' you refer to here... as long as you know she's grateful, that would be enough I guess.

 

[redhen]

I dont think its about a thank you "note".... but just a simple THANK YOU....
I dont write thank you notes either. But i'll be darn if i'm so ignorant that i cant tell someone Thank You for a gift they gave me.
A person cares enough to give you a gift, and you cant be bothered to say a simple Thank You? Really?? *sigh*
Just my opinion

 

[annaraven]

Quote:
No one said not being bothered to say thank you, but OP wasn't *there* to give the gift, were they? If the OP had mailed or shipped the quilt, then I would expect a call to confirm it arrive and say thanks. But it's very possible that the recipients thought they were passing their thanks back through the same people who brought the gift up for the OP.

 

[oaklandmama]

Quote:
Have to agree with this. I was raised in a strict write-your-thank-yous-as-you-open-gifts environment. Some relatives had several string attached to each gift (and I don't mean curling ribbon), and they especially absolutely demanded thank yous. I actually greatly prefer *not* receiving thank yous myself, and find the people who support and care for me most in life also usually tend to be the people who don't do thank yous. <3

I'm a thank you note writer, but this really struck me. I know quite a few people (all older) who are a bit militant about demanding/expecting thank yous, and I have to say, it kind of takes the giving spirit out of the gesture. When we had our first child, quite a few thank yous went out a little late (we're usually pretty prompt about it, send a note out in a week), and we got all sorts of passive remarks about it. I think we got all of them out by 3 or 4 weeks, and I did feel terrible about how late they were, but having your first kid is a pretty crazy roller coaster.

Don't get me wrong, our older daughter is almost 3 and has been taught to say thank you for everything, and already knows that she needs to send notes for gifts. But sometimes I think it the thank you note culture can be a little rigid, maybe because of these kind of generational tensions. I totally agree with redhen, it is the general sense of "thank you" that counts, and it *is* disappointing to not be acknowledged at all when you're the giver. I've felt that too.

 

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
Ditto again. I'm only 20, and, well, - I don't use FB, or Twitter, or have a Cellphone (or iPhone or whatever) and I don't chit chat to people all day long, if I do, it is about something relative to poultry, gardening, entomology, or philosophy. I'm a full time farmer, and actually, it was my choice too. My family weren't farmers, but when it came the choice that I move onto college or whatever, I kinda wanted instead to be a farmer and do the other things I love on the side at home. (computer animation and entomology)

Full time farmer...and entomology....

WOW. Good for you!

 

[bgelber]

Quote:
Redhen, you are correct, I all wanted was a simple THANK YOU. No she didn't tell my brother or sister in law to thank me or anything else. My parents also gave her a gift certificate and she hasn't even acknowledged that one either.

And for people not thinking she has time, well if she has time to play games she has time for a simple text or email..IMHO

Also it's not all of the younger generation. I made a quilt for my cousin's 15 yr old daughter ( don't get me started on that one ), she started thanking me the minute it came out of the bag. Then thanked me again before I left, so no it isn't all of the younger generation.

 

[manybirds]

Iheartchicks<3

:

Quote:
X 2395879587695487659876.

MY parents taught ME to say thank you.

MAYBE you should be asking whats wrong with the younger generation's PARENTS?

After all, you dont know unless your taught.

Just sayin'

It's that big thing that swept in the 70's and 80's when the parenting style was all 'don't spank you childen' there was a really famous guy who wrote a whole book on parenting with the whole 'don't spank don't yell at etc' thing. thats what they learned and/or read so thats what they do​

 

[PotterWatch]

Quote:
Redhen, you are correct, I all wanted was a simple THANK YOU. No she didn't tell my brother or sister in law to thank me or anything else. My parents also gave her a gift certificate and she hasn't even acknowledged that one either.

And for people not thinking she has time, well if she has time to play games she has time for a simple text or email..IMHO

Also it's not all of the younger generation. I made a quilt for my cousin's 15 yr old daughter ( don't get me started on that one ), she started thanking me the minute it came out of the bag. Then thanked me again before I left, so no it isn't all of the younger generation.

Even if she had told your family members to say thank you for her, she still should have called or emailed or facebooked a thank you to you personally.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Redhen, you are correct, I all wanted was a simple THANK YOU. No she didn't tell my brother or sister in law to thank me or anything else. My parents also gave her a gift certificate and she hasn't even acknowledged that one either.

And for people not thinking she has time, well if she has time to play games she has time for a simple text or email..IMHO

Also it's not all of the younger generation. I made a quilt for my cousin's 15 yr old daughter ( don't get me started on that one ), she started thanking me the minute it came out of the bag. Then thanked me again before I left, so no it isn't all of the younger generation.

Even if she had told your family members to say thank you for her, she still should have called or emailed or facebooked a thank you to you personally.

Agreed. Again, I don't think all kids are bad. I know of some very respectful, thoughtful teens. The OP asked what is wrong with our younger generation and I gave my thoughts.

Just as there are rude and selfish teens there are also rude and selfish adults. I was raised in a military family with the whole yes sir, yes ma'am, look out for the other guy thing. If I am going into a business that doesn't have automatic doors and I see someone coming close behind me, I hold the door for them. If I am entering after someone and they hold the door for me I say "thank you sir" or "thank you ma'am". It amazes me to see the number of people (adults and children alike) whom when a door is held for them march right through it without a word to the person holding the door for them. It's like they expect things to be done for them. My standard response, even without the thank you, is you're welcome.