what would you do if.....

[redhen]

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Nice!

I see that you are new too...
Welcome!

 

[debilorrah]

Ken would never tell me to get rid of animal I love without a VERY good reason. I can;t imagine that someone that loves you would do that to you KNOWING how important it is to you.

 

[pokey]

Quote:
my EX husband wanted my to give up some of my animals( i should've asked him to give up cheating lol) but i think having animals makes you WHO you are in many ways. i can't imagine my life w/o some sort of animal in it. and i made sure when i started dating my second hubby that he understood that there will be no time in my life that i will not have some sort of animal.PERIOD. I think there may be more to this you two need to discuss.

ps i loved my ex dearly, but don't change who you are in this life for anyone. GOD made you that way for a reason. no disrespect mahonri, just a different view.

 

[lexgold]

Just pray he comes to his senses. Sometimes men are jealous of our relationship with animals...notice how most of the people on here are women. Good luck to you...

 

[redhen]

Quote:
my EX husband wanted my to give up some of my animals( i should've asked him to give up cheating lol) but i think having animals makes you WHO you are in many ways. i can't imagine my life w/o some sort of animal in it. and i made sure when i started dating my second hubby that he understood that there will be no time in my life that i will not have some sort of animal.PERIOD. I think there may be more to this you two need to discuss.

ps i loved my ex dearly, but don't change who you are in this life for anyone. GOD made you that way for a reason. no disrespect mahonri, just a different view.

Thats right..I've loved, LOVED all animals since i was a small child....
men?.... not so much....

I'd never give up my animals...and any man that even tried to make me would be very very sorry. And HE'D be the lonely one..
I'd survive...

 

[melissa41927]

thank you all for your wonderful advice. it may be that he is just stressed. maybe i overwhelmed him with the number of pets we have. all the animals are outside pets so damage to our home only comes from our 2 kids. we have been married for 10 years, and he said that he is tired of having to be the primary provider of the house. for the past 2 years he has had to work far off, and now he is currently deployed overseas. i haven't worked full time in about 7 years because of our childcare situation, we can't find any, i was also clinically depressed and had trouble keeping a job. after i sent him an email about you know, the daily update on how i was feeling emotionally and such, he sends me one back saying that he was tired of having to be away from the family and being the main means of our support. he wants to to get a job full time so he can stay home with the kids full time and be a full time student. i have been trying to find a job for the past 3 years, but with all these businesses closing down around us, jobs are very hard to find. he has been supportive of me in every way that would equal monetary gain. but if i can't make money at it, he is totally uninterested. he has put up with me for this long, but i think all this stress is going to break us. i know when he comes back from his deployment, there will be a honeymoon period, but then all of our problems will still be there. he is already planning to get a job in Miss. working on active duty, he wants us to go with him for that year, and then the following year he wants to move us to auburn al so he can attend the university. how can i leave all them behind, because i know that there is no way we could afford a apartment that allows pets, and i am sure that he wouldn't allow them if it did. sorry for the extra long piece, sorry for y'all having to listen to me, but thank you i just needed to get that off of my chest.

 

[redhen]

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I'm so so sorry. You are in a tough situation right now...

 

[melissa41927]

when he was gone for the first time to basic, i was working, i found i couldn't get out of bed in the morning. my husband had bought me a chihuahua puppy before he left, so my mother came into our room and put that puppy on my bed, and that was what got me through that difficult part of our marriage. also before he left we had to move, our house buying plans had feel through, i had to take 2 of my three dogs to the animal shelter, where they were latter put to sleep. so i was very upset. all this was kind of crushing on me. he tried to understand, but he had other things to worry about. when my daughter was 3 months old, i went back to work, and the night i went to work, the dog i had had for 5 years that i loved and thought of as a friend was shot in our yard. that dog had always been there for me when i need a person to talk too. but my husband didn't understand. in my family, pets were treated as you would treat a friend. his family, pets were something to be played with, ignore, or left chained out. you would think after all of this time that he would realize like i have that these worthless animals keep me sane. i am not comfortable around a lot of people so they are what i had.

 

[Slinkytoys]

So, since you are depressed and don't make a "living" you are worthless??????

Holy moley. You are a wife and mother to two of HIS children. He can buck up and make the "living" for the family. Do Not let him decide what you NEED to do. Does he not realize how hard it is for everyone looking for a job right now?? Sorry, but he doesn't get to just toss you aside or dictate to you how to live. Abuse is abuse, whether it is physical or psychological. I can see him taking everything you care about away from you, then he has entire control. Ten years of your life, then he decides you aren't carrying your weight. Hold me back, I'd tear this guy a new sphincter.

I wouldn't be as nice as some of the members, he would be getting a "come to Jesus" talkin to. He can either support the family and be with you OR he can pay child support. Cripes, where do these men get off???

 

[chickless]

I have loved animals since I was born and I would be miserable without them in my life. I find that I'm perfectly happy living without a man in the house though, and perfectly happy being single and childless too. I used to stress out about relationships when I was young, but not anymore; I have always supported myself. I wouldn't spend time with a person who didn't like animals because they are central to my health. I'm an introvert and prone to depression. Animals and pets have been proven to be one of the best things for a depressed or stressed person's mental and physical health, and that is one reason he should respect your need to have them. When I was in a major depression for over a year, sometimes the only thing that kept me going was that my animals needed me.
http://www.deltasociety.org/Page.aspx?pid=311
http://www.deltasociety.org/Page.aspx?pid=333

There is nothing wrong with you for loving your pets and he was being thoughtless when he said you should be doing something "worthwhile," because animals are healing and that is worthwhile. It's a very difficult time to be trying to find a job right now and I think most of us are experiencing financial stress. That also puts enormous pressure on relationships and I'm sorry you are both going through that. I could not live if someone tried to control where I lived or what I did. I'm too independent for that. You have to decide for yourself, but it is important for you to make decisions together for you both to be happy. Maybe you can work something out. Getting rid of your animals will only cause you more hurt, but if you end up having to find a new home for one or two, you can try to find a rescue that will take them in and find good homes for them. Don't give up on rentals. I have found rentals that allowed pets in the past, and I had a house rabbit that wasn't always the best behaved! My secret was making a pet resume and offering an additional deposit for any damage they might do

http://www.bayrentals.com/~bar/petres.html