when did parents stop parenting their children??

[Dunkopf]

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Your generation? Drugs are just as prevalent if not more so than they used to be. The drug problem is still very much there.

I agree that there are a lot more families with both parents working. Wages have been stagnant since around 1982. So there is really no choice for a lot of people. Lot's of kids left at home after school from around 10 years on. I never did delinquent stuff till My friend got his license, then the fun began. Up until then the worst we did was blowing up our old models with black cats.

 

[Chick_In_The_Burbs]

I think the bigger issue now is just that kids don't expect negative consequenses because society has made giving them those consiquenses bad for those who would be administering. Spanking has become child abuse in many places, yelling at them has become emotional abuse, and what good does taking away their greatest gizmo if they have 10 others? Plus a good portion of parents seem to be more concerned with being thier kid's best friend instead of their parent.

So, if their own parents can't/won't discipline them, what could you possibly do to them? Nothing, in their minds. And that's what they expect. And a lot of kids won't look at the consequenses beyond getting into trouble with their family. Part of that is just being a kid and part is how they are being raised.

It's the difference of thinking of something and moving to do it, or pausing to think what would happen if Mom or Dad find out and being worried. That worry might not stop them, but it should at least be there.

 

[elijahboy]

you wanna hear about some bad kids i got some for you MY NEIGHBORS.

Its a family of four. The dad is rarely home. the mother works by schedule so the kids are home alone often but they are 13 and 15. our houses are about 20 ft apart from side to side and about 50 ft apart from front to back. everyone hears everything. the mother (lives 3 houses down) used to work with my next door neighbor. the mother was the manager and got t (next door) a job. well they had some shifting at the job and let t go. since then it has been a nightmare. t spoke to the mothers husband because that the only way you can get anything resolved. well after she spoke to him the mother gave t the job back. about 2 months later the 13 year old drops t's daughter onto her head onto the concrete. t fusses at the 13 year old. the mother then comes to t's and her mothers house and screams at t for fussing at her daughter. t returns from the hospital and the 13 year daughter comes over and starts with t's mother which is 50+. calling her and her family trash telling her she was going to slap her to gthe ground while in this ladys face and she is 13. the mother comes over and speaks to the 50+ year old (ts mother) and threatens all of their lives. the mother, 13 year old daughter. 16 year old son try to fight t in ts driveway. after calling t and her mother every name in the book even crackheads everyone goes home. my son was down the street so i was yelling AT MY SON. so 13 year old daughter decides its her business. oh you talking to me she says. i said does it look like im talking to you. so they call the 18 year old sister to come fight me. she comes to me asks me if i got a problem. i said for one i was not talking to 13 year old. a couple more words said. she goes across the street. i calmy go inside dial 911. police come they blame everything on us. i told the police just tell them dont ever come near ,y house or speak to me or my kids. the police leave. the 16 year old son starts screaming across the street at us. all 3 come back over with fists balled wantin tot fight T. the mother says to me oh you so scared you got to calls the cops. i said nope. i dont have to deal with people like you and i wont. believe there were a few choice words said as this took like 45 min. i said t call the police again and the police comes back out. quiet for about a month. my 4 year old comes running in mom j (16 year old) called you a b..... i said tell them im calling the cops again. mother 13 year old 16 year old get in car and leave for a bit. finally dad and uncle come talk to me the following day and beat 16 year old arse. yesterday 16 year old walks past another neighbors house and calls her a b..... mom goes over to fight the other lady. this happens EVERY WEEK mind you. the 16 year old try to fight my husband when he was asked if he had a problem.

 

[Dunkopf]

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This post is a little off topic. However Obama just signed in to law last month a bill for 600 million dollars for the purpose of increasing the border patrol by 1500 officers and 2 observation drones for surveillance. It also provides additional funding for local police departments to enforce laws. The problem there is not illegal immigration. It is thugs from the drug cartels and fringe elements coming across the border. It is a law enforcement problem. The local politicians can't do anything about it because the residents won't abide taxes being raised. So whoever is in the hot seat in DC gets the blame. Happened to Bush Jr too.

Can't blame you for feeling bad about it. As much noise as everyone makes about it. They would make even more noise if someone in DC did something substantial about it. The cost would be as much as the stimulus bill and we all know what fun the pundits had with that. It really puts everyone in the border states in a bad position. In addition to that we buy a huge amount of goods from Mexico and we need to maintain good relations with them. Building a wall similar to the wall that used to separate East and West Germany would not be conducive to good relations. It's a tough nut to crack. I don't see any POTUS doing anything about it.

Good luck, learn Spanish for please don't shoot me.

 

[bumpershoot]

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Oh I dunno, Steve...around here we have what's referred to as as "Hair and Ear" "conversations"...i.e., I have a hold of someone's hair or ear and I am having a "conversation" with them. When the boys are significantly taller then me I find that it helps to focus their attention. Some of the best conversations are done in a moving car because, as a friend of mine pointed out...they either gotta listen to you or jump. Jumping at 65mph or better seems unlikely.

Kids do retarded stuff. Boys especially have a hard time with seeing beyond the impulse to do something until they are about 35 years old. That's why I am here...for love, fear and guidance.

 

[Dunkopf]

Quote:
Oh I dunno, Steve...around here we have what's referred to as as "Hair and Ear" "conversations"...i.e., I have a hold of someone's hair or ear and I am having a "conversation" with them. When the boys are significantly taller then me I find that it helps to focus their attention. Some of the best conversations are done in a moving car because, as a friend of mine pointed out...they either gotta listen to you or jump. Jumping at 65mph or better seems unlikely.

Kids do retarded stuff. Boys especially have a hard time with seeing beyond the impulse to do something until they are about 35 years old. That's why I am here...for love, fear and guidance.

When you do that you have to be sure you give each ear equal attention. Otherwise the ears get lopsided. My boys tend to be harder to teach than the girls.

 

[FarmerJamie]

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I heard that! At 15, we took a large battleship model, used the plastic tree leftovers from the kit to build hull compartments, then filled them alternatively with gasoline and black power, with a section of fuse down a smokestack - we were recreating the sinking of the HMS Hood by the KMS Bismark It was glorious.

It was well planned out though, we had fire extingisher nearby and had glasses on.

Kids, do not try this at home.

Back to the original topic - kids will be kids, I get it, but from what I'm seeing, common sense is a rare commodity. My personal belief is it's because the video games, etc, where multiple lives and "do overs" are commonplace. I try to play video games with the kids on occasion (we've had some monster fun tourneys) but won't play if one particular DS's friend is over - last time we were playing Madden football and I forced two quick turnovers on him. His response "Let's start over, I was picking the wrong plays". Yeah, Sparky, the old man had you figured out after you ran the same play 8 times in a row in your previous game.

These kids need to understand that life doesn't always have a RESET button, or RETURN TO LAST SAVED CHECKPOINT option.

 

[woodmort]

As someone who taught for 35 years I have the answer to your question: "Right after your parents raised you." This is a question as old as the Greeks and is asked by every generation--the answer is always the same. Also another truth: Those that can best tell you how to parent children are those people that have none of their own.

 

[PineappleMama]

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Property damage. The dye and the soap really messed up the innerds. It was a community hot tub.

Ah gotcha. Thought of that with the sprinklers but went blank on the tub.

Woodmort if that ain't the truth... I think the "best" line I've ever heard was from my BIL, no kids, 42 and still mooching of his parents... he says "Speed addicts make the best parents because they're always awake!"... totally serious too, of course he neglected to mention that they have no appetite so they don't bother keeping food in the house but that's just a detail right?

 

[welsummerchicks]

dunkopf: "Your generation? Drugs are just as prevalent if not more so than they used to be. The drug problem is still very much there."

I know.

I didn't elaborate, but what I had in mind when I wrote that, was that mine was the first generation that had to deal with drugs being quite so extensive through the entire population of students, so cheap, and so available. There was no longer any question of 'virtue by lack of opportunity'; it was everywhere. I can say for sure, I don't envy parents...of any generation.

My (older) sister's generation, these particular drugs were popular with 'beatniks and criminals and delinquents'. As she told me, 'yours was the first generation where use of those drugs was that widespread'.

In my youth, drugs were not something just the 'bad' or 'in trouble' kids used. It was so widespread that as a friend told me, she visited a rural, religious family and asked the kids for drugs and they didn't even know the slang words for drugs. She said, 'I was stunned, I was sure the whole world did drugs', that's how widespread it was in her world.

I think alcohol has always been a problem, but with each generation, it seems cheaper and more widespread drugs are out there tempting kids.

I think the main thing though, is lack of supervision. Baby sitters and day care is very expensive, and many parents work. The kids aren't supervised and many have little else to do except dream up exciting things to do.