Why in the world am I so bad at flirting? (Tomboy thread!)

[rainplace]

It is possible that a lot more men than you think are attracted to you, and you don't notice.

 

[Opa]

Chickerdoodle, just an old rooster's opinion but don't worry to much about it. Just relax and be yourself. Men of any value will be attracted to that. You aren't on any time schedule. I can remember times when I wasn't involved with someone and I would think that I wasn't going to met anyone. When I quit worrying about it I found I was actually more attractive to the opposite sex. Just be yourself it will be more appealing than some affected action.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

"Flirting" is fake and manipulative.

Fun conversation and an honest open appreciation for someone is the key!

 

[chickinlickin]

Quote:
Wise words.

I married a tomboy (28 yrs ago) who was (and is) never anything but herself...and just perfect in my eyes....Believe me, you will be a great catch for somebody, just be true to yourself.

Good Luck.

 

[SarahFair]

I was always myself and my first like actual boyfriend Ive been with for 6 years now and have 2 kids with him.
I never flirted with him. I didnt even know he liked me till someone told me..

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

You guys would be quite proud of me! I ended up with an extra ticket for a Zac Brown Concert for this weekend. I actually asked the guy if he would be interested in going with me. It will be with a large group so it wouldn't have been an awkward "date" date...just some fun time with a group of friends. Anyways, I finally worked up enough courage to ask, even though my legs were shaking. After thinking for a second, he told me that he has to go to NYC for a job intereview that day, but he definitely would have gone with me if he wasn't busy. So it wasn't a yes answer, but I'm happy with the answer I got. Didn't seem like it was really a no either. Also, i thought it was cute that he moved his seat when he saw me sit down behind him. He came over and sat next to me which gave me the PERFECT chance to ask him.

So I'm really happy I took the chance and asked him. It was a good friendly gesture and even though he couldn't go, now he knows that I'm "interested" and would like to do things with him. It'll be up to him now to make the next move. Like you guys said, he's either interested or he's not! I'm just happy I didn't chicken out!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Good job! And..even if he's not interested in you 'that' way..(which he may be!

) You at least just made a better friend out of it!

VERY good job!

 

[Tala]

Quote:
I don't think so.
"flirting" = trying to get attention, there's no "set" way to do it

Now, you can do it in a manipulative or fake way, sure. If you want to be that way.

But all flirting isn't automatically fake or manipulative!



For some people, teasing is a form of flirting. Teasing can also be mean or cruel. It's all about how you do it and how the other person feels about it.

I think you get better at flirting as you get better at reading other people's responses. You learn how to interact with them and communicate whatever you're wanting them to know (that you're interested in them?)
You get better with practice and life experience!

And you're, right, Chickerdoodle13 I'm proud of you! Even though you didn't get him to go with you, you still accomplished a LOT! Good for you! It gets easier with practice.
Just think, the worst thing that could happen is that he says no, right? It's not off with your head or anything drastic like that.

 

[wombat]

Quote:
It depends, it comes quite naturally to some people. It's just non-verbal communication. It's fake when its calculated.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
It depends, it comes quite naturally to some people. It's just non-verbal communication. It's fake when its calculated.

I agree with wombat. Although I wasn't great at flirting while I was single, I flirt now with my hubby. I know him so well that it has become easy to do that sort of half teasing/ half seriousness that some single people do with one another. He likes it.

Chicken doodle, I am very proud of you. You did great. If he is interested then he will take the next step.