Worst cooking experience

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Steaming fish in a dishwasher?
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But the soap part is hilarious!
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I just remembered my most recent booboo.

My husband just passed way 3 months ago. I didn't cook for almost a month. Bill wasn't real fond of chicken! He only like breast meat and he wanted it cooked like his mom made. He discribed it as dry. OK so I never did learn how to make it dry enough for him. Think that was a good thing in my favor though.

Anyway I had chicken in the freezer. That evening I decided to fry it up. We had just moved to this house 2 months before he died and I had been fighting a bug problem. This was just a place to be while we were buying a house. I have always kept stuff in ziplocks, just because and it was neccessary here.

Tossed flour and spices into a ziplock and started frying it up, smelled pretty good, but wasn't getting crisp. I sprinkled more flour over it and it just kind of dissolved. I'm at a lose as to what the heck is going on, then it hit me. Stuck my finger in the original bag and it was powdered suger. I grabbed the flour and thought I'd redp and try to save it.

I was so sick of pizza, but that's what we ended up having anyway. Bill was probably looking down at me and cracking up. I looked up towards him (cause I know that's where he is) and said "OK Honey, ya got me!" LOL

My daughter's had a good one with this when I told them.
 
My chicken and dumplins always end up being chicken and driplins (as my Aunt dubbed them)
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Then there was the time I thought "Alfredo is good, Black olives are good, why not combine them"...
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Though I still think my Aunt wins... nearly burned the house down boiling water for tea.
 
This can't compare to some of the stories here but I can testify for sure that burnt artichokes are a thing to be avoided!!!
I love whole, steamed artichokes and making them is a true test to anyone's talent in the kitchen (the first time I made them I forgot to cut the thorns off!) but DO NOT let them boil dry! I was using a new pan and forgot to check them as often as I should have... well the new pan must have been a lot thinner than the one I usually used because the water (that I had lovingly infused with garlic and lemon slices) boiled away in no time and no one noticed until we came in from outside and the WORST SMELL EVER greeted us at the door!
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Seriously, don't ever burn artichokes! I had to throw the new pan away, never could get that horrible smell out!
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Even citrus air freshener didn't help a bit!

A cousin of mine tops this story though. She was 18 and was visiting and wanted to impress us with a homemade fried chicken dinner. The dinner was OK but when we went to eat dessert we were all forced to spit out the cake she had made! It was horrible! It looked great though and it took a bit for my parents to figure out what went wrong. Finally they got the truth out of her. Not wanting to waste the flour that she had used to bread the chicken with she used this to flour the cake pans. Garlic and onion salt and all the other spices you use when making fried chicken included!!! Oh was it bad!
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Oh my, I love this thread! Wish I could just read instead of posting though.........
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I tried out the bread machine again tonight - 3rd time is the charm, right? NOT!

Followed the basic white bread recipe in the instruction manual. Well, neither of us cares for plain white bread, so I did bend the recipe a tiny bit. I added in some dried dill, since we have lots of sliced ham, so I figured it would makes great ham sandwiches. It rose beautifully this time, smelled quite enticing......

and is so dilly it's almost impossible to eat!!!!!
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This is just WRONG! I have been a restaurant cook, a baker, somehow involved with food since I was 15! (54 now) My family and friends swear I am a good cook. Yet I can't master this dang bread machine!
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eggs boiled dry until they expolded all over the kitchen and then continued to burn in the pan while I was outside playing on the lawn with my new chicks . . .
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^Did that... I was lucky though that DD came back and said "Mom whatcha making" and that's when I abandoned BYC and went dashing to save the day...

MIL talks about her first cooking experience. Her mom NEVER allowed her in the kitchen. And her Grama was living with them so she really didn't want to be in there... it was scary when those two got at it. Anywho one day she got up super early and wanted to make breakfast for everyone. Got the cookbook, got the ingredients, mixed everything perfectly, measured perfect... last thing added was the oil... and that's when the snag came... immediately after it said to add the (measure listed above) oil it said now fill muffin cups 1/3 full...

Her dad was a real trooper and ate three of those smoked blueberry hushpuppies.
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I'm still embarrassed that I had to look up, in a cookbook, how to cook mashed potatoes. Thanksgiving was all on me, think I was 16 then, 'cuz mom had just had another back surgery and couldn't lift more than a coffee cup. We went with a ham (just had to heat it really) rather than a turkey so that was GREAT. But I was terrified I'd cook the pieces of potato so long that they would just disintegrate into a gross potato gruel... now I could make them in my sleep... but DH still thinks it's funny that once upon a time I actually looked that up!
 
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Maybe it's the yeast. I had that problem once with my bread machine and it was the yeast. Went and bought another jar and worked perfect. Thing is I had just bought the first one, but it was the only thing I could think of.

A friend of mine really had a problem with hers. She used regular yeast and a double batch of the recipe for the big loaf. Smelled good, but it was not even a sunken loaf like youre are coming out. This thing would not even come out of the pan. She soaked it for days and finally order a replacement. Thing is if you looked inside you saw this beautiful browned crust, but it was like cement.

Oh I didn't read the dilly part! LOL

Well at least you got a real loaf!
 
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