Would you allow your daughter to join the Navy?

[Sugar Sand Farm]

My son did the same thing He didnt want to borrow money for college and he knew we couldnt afford to put him through. He joined the army. He is on his second tour in Iraq. He cant wait until he gets out. Part of the problem is if he wasnt deployed he would be out next month but because he is deployed he has to stay until december then by the time he finally gets home and out it will be january or february. He is in a very bad part of Iraq and there is still alot of fighting going on there this deployment has been very hard on his company with deaths and many injuries. Now after all this he has decided not to go to college this breaks my heart but right now I just want him home safe and sound. I hope she weighs her options very carefully. I dont think they really realize the danger in joining during wartime. These recruiters make it sound so wonderful. I even heard one sargent say to the soldiers before they deployed that it was like a spa over there. If he considers roadside bombs, mortars, and snipers as part of a spa then he is crazy. Its ashame when a young man or women has to face their own mortality. I hope she reconsiders Good luck Micki

 

[silkiechicken]

If an education is the ONLY reason she wants to join, I would think a bit harder. There are ways to go to school in a solid block and get it done with without going into debt or very little if any if you are dead set on doing so.

My SO worked jack in the box for 2 years in HS to save up money, then worked four summers as an intern between each academic college year. He did his 4 years at U of Washington and borrowed a whole 3k the entire time he was there, and paid it off BEFORE he graduated his senior year! He is now an engineer at HP. Didn't need to join the military to go though school debt free by the end. He didn't even apply to any scholarships. Chose to go to school instate and live at home. Makes it much cheaper. No partying, all studying, home packed lunches and dinners and you won't dig yourself in a hole. You have to work for an education and the military isn't going to give you an education for "free". There is a trade off of x number years of your life.


My dad went to vietnam, and although they did pay for some of his education, the discrimination he received in the military as a minority, and the lies he was fed about how much school they would pay for have left a pretty bad scar in memory. Rarely does he talk about anything that happened there other than a few stories including almost getting shot in the back of the head, but how he saw the tip of their gun in the side of his huge glasses just in time to turn around and shoot first. He assembled my college fund so I would never have to think about needing to sign away a solid chunk of young life to the .gov, which I am grateful for.

 

[NewHen]

I really struggled with whether I should even post regarding this topic. Personally, I was able to attain student loans >$250k for my education and it's actually manageable paying them back. There's no such thing as a free lunch, let alone education. I work with veterans every day and every day I try my hardest to give each one of them the same care that I would give my own daughters or parents or husband. I do not want my daughters, however, to experience what our soldiers experience. One day, I hope they find that they can give meaningfully in another way.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My sister has been in the Navy for a tad over 25 years. She went Reserves for the education and training. She ended up with war and horrible politics and more tours of duty than you can imagine. She did get the education and awesome experience. And I think for her it made her stronger. But now they won't let her out. She thought she would be able to retire, but they put her on a stop loss. Bush tried to privatize the medical end of the military and discovered much to their shock that civilian doctors do not want to serve in Iraq and they didn't know enough about military jobs to determine who was fit for duty and who was not. She has spent over 3 full years in theater, and many more in other areas.

I agree with the others who say the military will help her but it has a high cost. If she wants an education and has a good GPA there are many, many ways to skin that cat. One of the military academies can be a good idea IF SHE HAS THAT TYPE OF PERSONALITY!

Look for scholarships - there are some real weird ones out there for left handed red heads and such. You need to do the foot work to find them. I owed 5 thou at the end of my undergrad degree because of scholarships, grants and school financial aid. It was not easy getting them and it was often not easy to keep them, but it was worth it!

Let her read this thread.

You have every reason to be very proud of her and the choices she has made thus far. With a little research she'll probably make good decisions going forward.

 

[MagsC]

My daughter was in the Navy for four years. She decided it wasnt her career choice but it sure did her a world of good and helped her grow up while she was in.
My youngest daughter right now is considering military service.
But as with my other daughter, I figure its their decision and I will support what they decide.

 

[poltroon]

What I hear is that she's interested just to pay for school, not because it's always been her dream to serve in the Navy.

I would go out of my way to find some Navy women for her to speak with, people not in the recruiter's office, ideally people with similar sorts of talents.

I went to a predominantly male university and it worked out well for me - I came out stronger, more confident. But, a predominantly male group can be a tough environment for a young woman and there's no guarantee she'll have a strong mentor to help her find her way. As a woman, there will be some avenues for advancement closed to her in the military.

And, there's no never mind if it wasn't what she wanted.

One thing I would ask is if she's spent much time away from home on her own? You might consider sending her for some residential summer programs this year, a week or longer, either an academic type setting or a more physical type setting. It might help her see better how she reacts to that kind of setting.

Since the focus is on school, I'd start with having her apply to the schools she wants and seeing how the financial aid process goes. She may find it is not so bad as she thought.

The other thing to remind her is that the economy will probably be better in four years, when she graduates, making the prospects of getting a job and paying back a small loan far more manageable than it was for last year's graduates.

And when the papers are in place, if it were my daughter, what I would ask is that she not sign anything without me or another capable adult reading it closely and understanding exactly what she would be committing to and what she would be promised. The recruiter may say one thing about the tuition and where she might serve and how long she is committed for, but that is not necessarily how it will go. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen. She'll have the most leverage before she signs.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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[silkiechicken]

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And even if it is writing, it is subject to change....

 

[kristenm1975]

I will most certainly give my daughter a chance to read this thread. You all have so much to contribute! It's a beautiful thing to me to have you all tell a little bit about your life experience in order to help someone else make the decision that's right for them.

My girl is a tough cookie in a lot of ways, mostly because I never made life easy for her. She's moved a lot, been an only child and learned to do most things on her own, and has learned compassion by watching those around her without as much resilience break down under pressure. I don't really have any concerns about her making it in the military. I think she'd probably make a brilliant go of it in any branch she chose.

My concern is always with what she'd lose while she was there. Freedom would be the first casualty, and that's for darn sure. As my husband asks, what company requires you to sign a four year minimum contract with prison as the alternative to keeping your contract? I totally understand that any company that puts thousands into an employee needs to get that money's worth out of them, and that's why I'm so determined to ensure that she understands what's expected when her name goes on the dotted line.

Folks here have mentioned the emotional struggles military personnel have when they come back home. I can't even imagine what some people go through. I'd so much rather help her find a way to go to college and learn ways for us all to avoid the wars our country is involved in, rather than just get out there and add her blood to all that's been lost already.

Thank you all for your saying what's on your mind. This is an incredibly valuable resource and I hope it'll help others too perhaps.

 

[WriterofWords]

The Navy is not a job you can quit, when you join the military in any branch you have to understand you are in it for the long haul. I didn't read all the posts so if it's been said I apologize. Tell her to talk to the recruited about the Naval Reserve and go to college on their dime. When she graduates she'll be an officer and have to serve her time but she'll have less of a chance of being in the war zone because there are fewer officers than enlisted there.
My nephew is in the Navy and he loves it. My son is in the Army Reserves, graduated high school last night, goes to AIT next month but then will go to New Mexico Military Institute and then the University of Washington before he goes active duty as an officer. It's a great way to start your adult life and get your degree and for some they turn it into a lifelong career. When my son hits 37 he will have 20 years in the Army already, plenty of time to start a new career, retire, or do whatever he feels like doing.

The military is also like any other career, it has it's ups and downs. There is stress, I have stress as a teacher, I had stress in the Air Force, no job is without stress. Yes she will have different forms of stress and emotional challenges and she has to be able to step and meet those challenges, it's not something you go into lightly. Support her, go to the recruiter with her, but don't try and influence her. Let her make up her own mind no matter how you feel about it it's still going to be her life and her choice to be made.