Your opinion? My ex's girlfriend kisses my 6 yr old on the lips

[CityGirlintheCountry]

I think the bigger deal is that the ex and the girlfriend won't respect your parenting decisions. That spells big trouble.

 

[Bettacreek]

NNOOOOO WAY!!! I don't kiss my own boys on the lips, and I'd be darned if anyone else did. Believe me, I've had to tell a few family members that I felt that it was disgusting, and that the boys didn't need to have "cooties" passed to them. Like, seriously, you don't know when someone could pass them oral herpes from an "innocent" peck.

 

[xadika]

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[coffeelady3]

It's sounding like you and you ex have a pretty amiable custody arrangement going, and it's best for everyone involved (especially your daughter) if you keep it that way. Just mention to your ex that it makes you uncomfortable, and ask if she can kiss your daughter on the cheek instead. Getting lawyers involved and challenging custody on something like this could make the situation unnecessarily ugly. There's no sense making a proverbial mountain our of a molehill, when a simple conversation could solve the issue.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

The thing I find disturbing is that she is ONLY doing this with your daughter. Is she the only girl (sorry if you already said, just not sure)? That could be it. She might think it would seem somehow more inappropriate if it was a boy. I kiss my kids on the lips (11, 9, and 7) all boys and never think a thing of it. I would freak if it was someone else however. They are funny, if I aim for a cheek they say "which one of us you think is getting sick, mom?".

ETA, the calling her mom thing is just wrong in every sense of the word and heads would roll over that one!!!!

 

[English Chick]

Depends what you mean by kiss..... a quick peck, or something longer than a second.............. longer, I would have a problem with another woman doing that to my child......quick peck.. don't have a problem with.

However I WOULD have a major problem with the girlfriend telling your daughter to call her Mommy...... like

. she is vying for your child's affection in order to make you feel uncomfortable and respond to it, especially as you say your Ex is going for custody, the girlfirend is playing happy families for the sake of the Lawyers and Courts.

Rise above it, and put your "complaint" formally in writing, have someone look over the letter before you send it, especially as you have asked her not to do it. Keep everything civil and within the law..... don't do anything that could jepodise your custody of your child.

Would also advise that you don't make your daughter uncomformtable by asking her too many questions about this other woman at the moment, as the girlfriend may also be questioning the child about you.

Will keep you in my prayers and hopefully all will be resolved amicably, but do keep the Board posted....

to you, I realise you must feel in a difficult position, but we are all here for you.

 

[scbatz33]

Quote:
oh your ex is Definitely allowing this to get under your skin!!!

And, I really think the girlfriend thinks it'll make your ex keep her so she's going along with it. In part it's a "see he doesn't love her(you) anymore because WE are acting as one to get back at her." She clearly has insecurity issues about her relationship with your ex and is using the "bond" she has with your child to say to him "look honey, even your little girl loves me. she calls me mommy and everything!"

The sad part is both of them seem to be using you're little girl for their own selfish reasons. You are gonna have to rise above it all. You have to realize that you are her mother, she knows it and NO ONE (not even Daddy's flavor of the month) will ever replace you in her eyes.

I have been there and done that. My kids are now 14 and 16 and their "sperm donor" is no longer in the picture. He played similar games and at the time it killed me. They would go on the weekends to "Daddy's" and he'd take them out and do all the fun stuff. And then I had to be the mean mom because we had rules and bed times and I made them do their homework.

But, in the end, the ex got bored with his little "get back at the ex wife" games. He, sadly, lost interest in his kids (not just as pawns in his game) but as HIS kids. He stopped seeing them all together when he realized I'd moved on.

The tragedy is of course, the kids were more hurt by his lack of attention than they were by his stupid little games. They have, for years, built up anger and pain towards him. My son was hit the hardest by his father's not wanting him.

The good thing is they have a step-dad who loves them and is very involved in their lives. He is supportive and cares and they may hate him at times (as they do me) for enforcing rules and making them do chores and homework, but in the end, they know they are loved.

I KNOW this is very hard. It's true the old cliche - you can't see the forest for the trees - but hang in there. Be the best mom you can be and DO NOT sink to their level of using your child to get back at them. I would not ask her alot of questions - especially about the girlfriend - because then she will start to feel she is doing something wrong. You also don't want her to feel she has to pick sides. This maybe one of the hardest things you ever go through, but try not to say negative things about those two to her. Be upbeat and cheerful when you discuss them. She will grow up and she will figure it out all for herself. And in the end, if your ex doesn't grow up, his daughter will know who truely loved her and supported her.

I will be thinking only good thoughts for the both of you. Good luck.

Sarah

 

[Poulets De Cajun]

this ones gettin' good...

 

[scbatz33]

Quote:
another early work morning?

 

[Poulets De Cajun]

You know it.... nother day in paradise.