California - Northern

[liz9910]

Explain to them what you just explained to us. It's too new still, in the same place even and you're not sure you can handle it. Maybe offer instead to take them to dinner so you can talk about the good times with your husbands and offer some support in a lower key setting that you can handle.

I haven't spoken to my co-worker, but her mom also works at my office. I told mom that I can't handle it, but I would help her cook etc. Mom didn't really want to take no for an answer. Awkward.

 

[Deerling]

Ok, way off topic here. As some of you know, my husband passed away last July. On March 2nd of this year, my co-worker's husband died of liver failure. We've had some really bad luck lately (at my work). This weekend is my co-worker's husband's service and wake/celebration meal. The wake will be held at the same exact place as my husband's was. I'm pretty sure it is way to soon for me to go to a funereal and wake, especially in the same exact place. The blown up picture of him, the slide show, all the crying people, and I know exactly what she is feeling right now. It sucks! I feel like a big jerk because I don't want to go. What should I do?

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I definitely don't think you need to go. You, more than most people, know what she is going through and if you feel up to it you could write a card expressing more than most people can offer. Maybe at some point you could take her out to lunch or something where you two can have a quiet conversation. It's so great that you want to be there to support your coworker, I think the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself.

If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me!

 

[liz9910]

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I definitely don't think you need to go. You, more than most people, know what she is going through and if you feel up to it you could write a card expressing more than most people can offer. Maybe at some point you could take her out to lunch or something where you two can have a quiet conversation. It's so great that you want to be there to support your coworker, I think the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself.

If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me!

Thank you. When I heard about it it took me right back to that horrible place, and it was as if my husband had just died not hers. I'm afraid I would just project my grief onto her.

 

[MrsMoonCat]

Explain to them what you just explained to us. It's too new still, in the same place even and you're not sure you can handle it. Maybe offer instead to take them to dinner so you can talk about the good times with your husbands and offer some support in a lower key setting that you can handle.

I agree with this, Elizabeth. Don't let the mother "guilt" or bully you into going. You need to take care of yourself and then later in a more neutral location, you can be there and support your friend. Anyone with a brain or a heart should understand that it is just way too soon for you to go through that.

 

[Deerling]

I agree with this, Elizabeth. Don't let the mother "guilt" or bully you into going. You need to take care of yourself and then later in a more neutral location, you can be there and support your friend. Anyone with a brain or a heart should understand that it is just way too soon for you to go through that.

Very well said.

 

[Hangtown Farms]

They will be fine. Opening too much causes hatch problems. Opening quickly to get chicks out is fine!

5 more hatched last night. may get them out before work and take out a empty egg carton for space

Thank you. When I heard about it it took me right back to that horrible place, and it was as if my husband had just died not hers. I'm afraid I would just project my grief onto her.

 

[ronott1]

Quote:
Congrats on the Chicks.

I have two Ducks heading for a Brooder this morning.

 

[liz9910]

Thank you everyone for letting me get that out and for your advice sorry for the depressing stuff. Back to chickens!

 

[Happy Chooks]

Amy - hope your DH is okay. It's got to be pretty scary for both of you.

Ron - that's a strange way to ship eggs. I'll be listening for how well they do.

Liz - tough spot to be in. If you don't feel you can handle it, then don't go. If they are having a get together after, you can go and show your support to her there and bring food.

 

[debs_flock]

The code they gave me for 10% off, when I ordered my octagon 20 incubator was BrinseaFan. They probably use different ones to track the source.

I just used the BrinseaFan code as well, a couple of days ago (I worked up my nerve and ordered a cabinet

) Pam, I'l get back with you on your PM today. I need to go take a closer look at that bird. The last three days were my "on work" schedule. Today I am gloriously home all day!

Deb...Shingle Springs is the home of one of my favorite college BBall players...If there is 1 thing, outside my family of course, that brings me as much pleasure as chickens it is College Basketball

Yeah? Who? I live in a very "sportsie" household. A few years ago my DH was named top HS/College referee in the State, all sports. Our best friend neighbor (across the street), their 14 year old son plays club BB, he's 6'4" and quite talented.

Ok, way off topic here. As some of you know, my husband passed away last July. On March 2nd of this year, my co-worker's husband died of liver failure. We've had some really bad luck lately (at my work). This weekend is my co-worker's husband's service and wake/celebration meal. The wake will be held at the same exact place as my husband's was. I'm pretty sure it is way to soon for me to go to a funereal and wake, especially in the same exact place. The blown up picture of him, the slide show, all the crying people, and I know exactly what she is feeling right now. It sucks! I feel like a big jerk because I don't want to go. What should I do?

First, let me say I am so sorry for your loss.

Not to be the dissenting opinion, but maybe it will just be another way for you to view the situation. I would go, the whole purpose to the service it to support the living and really has much less to do with the departed. Your friend/co-worker will just appreciate that you are there. If you become emotional, I'm sure you won't be the only one. I'm also sure that with your own recent loss, it would serve as an additional release for you.

It's like sometimes when I am sad and a bundle of emotion for no apparent reason, I will watch a sad movie so I can have a good cry. I always feel better afterwards.

Good luck with your decision on what to do.

Deb