(eta: please read the more recent posts because a lot has changed/been added since the beginning of this thread. thanks!)
hello all! wow, it's been about a year or so since i've posted on here. things have changed so much. i don't usually post about personal things, but i'm going through a tough situation right now and i really need some outside advice. this may turn out to be a long post, but please bare with me.
some background info: 4 days ago, my bf of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me over text. it's been really hard for me to deal with because i still care about him a lot and we' e been through a lot together. he's always been a great guy and he has always respected me more than any guy i've ever known. we both go to the same church and we both have the same morals and values in our lives, and things have always been great. even though we've had a couple distance problems, we had always stayed strong and i trusted him. we talked and communicsted well.
but then there was me. i tend to be the most worrisome person you would ever meet. i worry about the smallest things and althogh i try not to, sometimes i overreact, overthink, and assume. for a while, he was patient with me. he let me vent and share my feelings when i needed to, and i guess i took advantage of that because eventually it drove him away little by little. around this time of th year, he's been extremely busy with school, being on a varsity sports team, taking lifeguardin classes for a job this summer, and who knows what else. but on top of that, i was there always worrying about not seeing him or him not faring abou me. it pushed him away and made me more worried. we hadn't hungout or talked that much in the past few weeks, and whether that was because he was busy or didnt want to see me (or both), i dont know. but me being me, i got paranoid and sent him a reeaallyy long text one night saying that he didnt treat me like a girlfriend anymore and if he didnt start treatin me better i would leave. i will forever regret that. he responded back by saying he never meant to hurt me but it wasn't working out if he couldnt find he time to see me and maybe he wasn't ready for our relationship because his life is too hectic to fit a girl like me into it. he said he wanted to get rid of all the stress, and by breaking up with me that's exactly what he did, because i was obviously the cause of the stress. we got into a big fight about it (the first real fight we've ever gotten into since we had been dating) and he said im just always complaining abou our relationship and worrying about him not caring about me. which i admit, he was right about. i just pushed him away without even thinking about it. now he says he doesnt want a relationship anymore. but i just miss him so much, and i really want him back because i now realize that i need to get over my worrying and everything. it's something i'm willing to work on if it means we can compromise and try to make this work again, but im afraid it's too late anf he doesn't want to be with me now. f i could go back and take back all the times i stressed him out, i would. but it's too late now.
i haven't talked to him since the breakup because i wanted to give things a chance to cool down and let both of us think. but i still really want to be with him and i can't forget all the good times we had together. he was my first love and i was his first "serious" girlfriend and we really cared about each other. so i want to try talking to him to see if there's still chance that we can work something out. but when should i try callin him? how long should i wait? should i wait to see if he will call me first?
thanks for reading and for any advice you can give.
hello all! wow, it's been about a year or so since i've posted on here. things have changed so much. i don't usually post about personal things, but i'm going through a tough situation right now and i really need some outside advice. this may turn out to be a long post, but please bare with me.
some background info: 4 days ago, my bf of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me over text. it's been really hard for me to deal with because i still care about him a lot and we' e been through a lot together. he's always been a great guy and he has always respected me more than any guy i've ever known. we both go to the same church and we both have the same morals and values in our lives, and things have always been great. even though we've had a couple distance problems, we had always stayed strong and i trusted him. we talked and communicsted well.
but then there was me. i tend to be the most worrisome person you would ever meet. i worry about the smallest things and althogh i try not to, sometimes i overreact, overthink, and assume. for a while, he was patient with me. he let me vent and share my feelings when i needed to, and i guess i took advantage of that because eventually it drove him away little by little. around this time of th year, he's been extremely busy with school, being on a varsity sports team, taking lifeguardin classes for a job this summer, and who knows what else. but on top of that, i was there always worrying about not seeing him or him not faring abou me. it pushed him away and made me more worried. we hadn't hungout or talked that much in the past few weeks, and whether that was because he was busy or didnt want to see me (or both), i dont know. but me being me, i got paranoid and sent him a reeaallyy long text one night saying that he didnt treat me like a girlfriend anymore and if he didnt start treatin me better i would leave. i will forever regret that. he responded back by saying he never meant to hurt me but it wasn't working out if he couldnt find he time to see me and maybe he wasn't ready for our relationship because his life is too hectic to fit a girl like me into it. he said he wanted to get rid of all the stress, and by breaking up with me that's exactly what he did, because i was obviously the cause of the stress. we got into a big fight about it (the first real fight we've ever gotten into since we had been dating) and he said im just always complaining abou our relationship and worrying about him not caring about me. which i admit, he was right about. i just pushed him away without even thinking about it. now he says he doesnt want a relationship anymore. but i just miss him so much, and i really want him back because i now realize that i need to get over my worrying and everything. it's something i'm willing to work on if it means we can compromise and try to make this work again, but im afraid it's too late anf he doesn't want to be with me now. f i could go back and take back all the times i stressed him out, i would. but it's too late now.
i haven't talked to him since the breakup because i wanted to give things a chance to cool down and let both of us think. but i still really want to be with him and i can't forget all the good times we had together. he was my first love and i was his first "serious" girlfriend and we really cared about each other. so i want to try talking to him to see if there's still chance that we can work something out. but when should i try callin him? how long should i wait? should i wait to see if he will call me first?
thanks for reading and for any advice you can give.
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