ex husband- rant

[Chicken Lil]

Okay, so I am a fool, but I actually believed he wasn't making much money. Hah! Talk about naive!!

We had a bitter divorce 10 years ago this month. It was a total pain, because he did not want me to have my half of anything. FYI, I worked full time during our marriage, and made the same yearly income. When we bought a house together we both put equal amounts of money into it, as well as splitting household bills.

All I wanted was my half of the equity in the house, and for him to pay the state mandated child support and split our daughters medical bills. I did not want alimony, or his pension, and I did not want him to try to claim the land my grandfather had given me for my 13th birthday. Seemed fair, but the fool contested everything and dragged it all out. In the end I gave in on medical and his lawyer set it up that he would pay all extrodianary medical and I would pay all regular medical. Since our girl was healthy he thought that would be great for him, as what could happen.

That bit him in the butt because no more that two months later my DD almost dies from Lupus Nephrituis, which for a five year old is truly extrodinary. Needless to say he never paid for the medical, and as I was so distraught over my girl I did not do more than send him copies of bills requesting him to pay.

When the child support was mandated it was supposed to be 17% of his yearly gross. In 1998, the year of our divorce, he made 40K, and made monthly payments $500. At the end of each year he was supposed to send me whatever difference it was as his salary increased. However, he alwasy claimed he was broke, that he did not get more than 1% raise, etc, etc. So I never saw more than the $500 a month.

Meanwhile he went 4 years not seeing our daughter, his choice, he only calls her about two times a year. This summer he finally agreed to have her visit for a week. After three days he sent her to stay with my sister, who lives in NYC also.

The killer has been all the medical bills as our DD has Lupus nephrituis, and has battled it on and off for years. One time I asked him to help pay our share ($800) of DD's renal biopsy. He had the nerve to tell me he couldn't pay because he was paying for his girlfriends 14 year old DOG to have chemo.

Anyway, I found out through an old friend of his that he not only received large increases in his transit union job, but that he was promoted to a supervisor in the structure dept in 2005.

I am livid to find out he has been crying poverty, while neglecting his daughter, supporting his non working girlfriend, all the while making $85K a year.

Meanwhile, 10 years ago I made the $42K a year, and due to the downfall of American Manufacturing here I am, 10 year later making $45K. Better than alot of people yes, but no way has it kept up with inflation, and I've got an IE degree!

So my lawyer is now demanding all of my ex's income tax records since 1999, while I have been compiling lists of all of DD medical expenses of the last 10 years. Thank goodness I have them all, as I have had to claim it on my taxes and I have kept all my tax records since 1990. (Yeah I know I don't need to, but I'm picky that way.)

Looks like the, you know what, owes almost $60K in back child support and that is if the judge only makes him pay half of all our DD medical costs, not all extrodinary!

I am usually a very trusting person, not vindictive at all, but this time I want him to pay!!! My girl has gone without a lot of extra's just because her medical bills have been so high. Well no more! She is soon going to college and I want this money from him to help pay for her education. The kid deserves it, but it in no way makes up for all the years he has been a jerk of a father!!

Sorry for the long rant. I just don't comprehend not taking care of ones own children!! And I'm really ticked!!!

 

[hennypenny9]

I worked full time during our marriage, and made the same yearly income. When we bought a house together we both put equal amounts of money into it, as well as splitting household bills.

All I wanted was my half of the equity in the house, and for him to pay the state mandated child support and split our daughters medical bills. I did not want alimony, or his pension, and I did not want him to try to claim the land my grandfather had given me for my 13th birthday.

Seems like a fair request. I hope you get what you deserve, I would be so mad I can't even tell you.

I know people who are way less deserving than you, and they get things handed to them left and right. Seems good people get nothing.​

 

[WriterofWords]

Yep, been there done that.

 

[MagsC]

Oooo.

Sounds too familiar to me. I wish you the best of luck in getting medical bills paid and money.
My ex pays $200 a month....maybe...often he doesnt pay for two or three months until they get after him.

 

[Chicken Lil]

Quote:
Goodness, that is such garbage. $200 barely covers anything nowadays.

Does MI state have the ability to do a direct pull from his paycheck?

I just started doing that here in IL, and that way he won't get away by not paying. Unless of course he wants to give up his cushy job and retiremnt plans!

 

[MagsC]

Yes, they can do a direct pull from his paycheck...and do when they catch up with him. He is a truck driver and changes companies/jobs like other people change their clothes. Knowing him, it is likely on purpose because he is interested in everything but his child.
Craziness. I would think he would want to be part of her life, not pop in and out every so often, promising "this time" he wants a solid relationship with her....then a couple months later completely forgetting her 16th birthday.
This is awful, but the last time he came to the house I ran him off. She didnt want to see him either. He arrives with presents and promises he always breaks. It has upset her so badly before that her grades were slipping. We can do without that.
You are right, $200 a month for child support doesnt get much. We have just become very good at making it stretch!

 

[preppy*hippie*chick]

Quote:
I never even filed for support til she was five, even though we'd been separated since she was one. I was getting $160 a week, they couldn't legally take that much out of his check and he drug me to court to get it reduced. I wanted to be fair, so I asked what he had in mind and he said $20 a week. what (what the fish)!!!! Finally I told him I could deal with$100 a week. Of course before we left, I found out that his professionally manicured wife doesn't even work!!! To make things worse, he insisted that they would be filing for sole custody. I said, "Good luck with that after they find out that you haven't seen her since she was a year old." I told him that if he was to see her, he'd do it on a regular basis or not at all. He said he couldn't handle that sort of commitment.

At that point he was 34 and I was 27. Yeah, he turned out to be a real winner.

to you OP.

 

[English Chick]

Don't worry about the rant, that is what we are here for, I applaud you BRAVO!!!! ...... Your daughter deserves to go to college, and he deserves to pay for all of it... You go girl!

 

[lengel]

It's confusing to me that people think they can get away with that in this day and age. Even if you don't pursue it, your daughter can when she turns 18. Can you imagine what the interest would be then (I can. My company writes software for that kind of thing - he would be paying until he died and then she would have a claim on his estate)?

Don't throw away the paperwork, ever. In case your attorney misses something now, your daughter has the right to take it up with him later.

Good for you for calling him on it!

 

[Cetawin]

Go for it! And I am sorry if it sounds cold and cruel but ... rake that sucker over the coals!

I am sick of men who do not care about nor help provide for their children. I am about to lock my ex up right now.

Since Dec. of 2005, he managed to send 200.00 child support last December...has never paid his portion of medical or hospital bills (or the pills for her asthma that used to cost me 300.00 per month)etc etc and will go months and months (so far the longest time wihout a call from him was 10 months, the shortest 3 months). He has not exercised his visitation right in 6 years. And the fool has the nerve to ask me how I could dare ask him to allow my husband to adopt her... the man who has been there for her since she was 4 years old, the man she calls Dad and tells all her secrets too and the man that loves her more than life itself. Oh how selfish of me. What was I thinking? How could I let this 12 year old ask her father to sign adoption papers? He has even threatened to make my daughter and I move back to Florida. I said "Oh so you think the judge will order me to leave my husband? He said "Yup and I am getting a lawyer" My only response before hanging up was "You better get two or three REALLY good ones and if you can afford them, you could be paying your child support".

so...enough. He can go to jail for all I or his daughter cares.

Sorry...the topic makes me rant. Forgive me for hijacking your rant.