I am so mad I could spit nails!
- Thread starter lilshadow
- Start date
* Some kids are just too smart for their own good or think they are!!!!! My now 26 y/o was such a one. Moved out at 17 after being nearly unmanageable since kindergarten!!! Or so it seemed. He's had 8 long years to think about it and learned he's not exactly the king of the world he thought he oughta be. MUCH IMPROVED!! Some of them just need to TRY to reinvent the wheel for themselves, I think. Unfortunately.
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Too funny. Thats what my parents did except they said visit anytime, you dont live here anymore. I knew it was coming though.
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Unfortunately this is true. Thats why some parents are afraid of their kids. A friend of mine in high school came home drunk, his parents kicked him out, so he went to the cops and they made his parents take him back. How can you lay down the law when the law sides with the drunken minor?
I agree with everyone who says the strike needs to be permanent. If the kids feel like their living in a hotel theyll start to treat you like hotel employees. Its hard to figure out some people. Im friends with a 30 yr old whose mother moved into a one bedroom apartment to get him to move out. He hated her for a year but his friends were on his mothers side so he got over it. My friend is a good guy but such a slacker. I really dont understand him.
Too funny. Thats what my parents did except they said visit anytime, you dont live here anymore. I knew it was coming though.
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Unfortunately this is true. Thats why some parents are afraid of their kids. A friend of mine in high school came home drunk, his parents kicked him out, so he went to the cops and they made his parents take him back. How can you lay down the law when the law sides with the drunken minor?
I agree with everyone who says the strike needs to be permanent. If the kids feel like their living in a hotel theyll start to treat you like hotel employees. Its hard to figure out some people. Im friends with a 30 yr old whose mother moved into a one bedroom apartment to get him to move out. He hated her for a year but his friends were on his mothers side so he got over it. My friend is a good guy but such a slacker. I really dont understand him.
So how is the strike going???What affect if any is it having? The 18 year old does not drive? Insurance is really high. I know I have teens, the can also they can try your every nerve. Respect is something that is earned and it seems your 18 does not respect you. Ask yourself why and them ask him why? Why does he feel it is okay to curse you?
Another thing to think about is ...this is and could be a hard one is he using? drugs? drinking? What you are posting does have the signs of those items.... sleeping all day, disrespect and others. Years ago my little brother fell into a bad crowd and he hid it very well; my mother just never could face the facts, until sadly he got arrested. Ask some hard questions of both yourselves as parents and your son. See were he is in life, he may be depressed. Kicking him out would be the easy way out but working through this is the hard thing but right thing. And I am for sure not saying you should answer here any of the questions I posted but you should privately ask them.
I have 8 children and two are adults now but still in college, 4 teens and 2 who are thinking they are as grown as the teens. When they raise their voice to me I ask them if this is how they feel they should speak to me. Then I ask them if that is how they want me to speak and treat them. Funny or ironic it does make a big difference and then they change their tune and choice of how they are speaking. No one wants to be cursed or hollered at or talked ill to, so if they think about it they correct it. Sometimes my son tells me it is because he is angry, I tell him it is okay to be angry but never okay to speak or treat others with disrespect. Unless that is of course how he wants to be treated. Growing into adulthood is not an easy thing.
I really do want to know how the strike is going.....
Another thing to think about is ...this is and could be a hard one is he using? drugs? drinking? What you are posting does have the signs of those items.... sleeping all day, disrespect and others. Years ago my little brother fell into a bad crowd and he hid it very well; my mother just never could face the facts, until sadly he got arrested. Ask some hard questions of both yourselves as parents and your son. See were he is in life, he may be depressed. Kicking him out would be the easy way out but working through this is the hard thing but right thing. And I am for sure not saying you should answer here any of the questions I posted but you should privately ask them.
I have 8 children and two are adults now but still in college, 4 teens and 2 who are thinking they are as grown as the teens. When they raise their voice to me I ask them if this is how they feel they should speak to me. Then I ask them if that is how they want me to speak and treat them. Funny or ironic it does make a big difference and then they change their tune and choice of how they are speaking. No one wants to be cursed or hollered at or talked ill to, so if they think about it they correct it. Sometimes my son tells me it is because he is angry, I tell him it is okay to be angry but never okay to speak or treat others with disrespect. Unless that is of course how he wants to be treated. Growing into adulthood is not an easy thing.
I really do want to know how the strike is going.....
My at the time 15 year old dropped the F bomb on me once. I slapped him right across the face. He cried out that he was going to call DSS on me - I said go right ahead, I'll pack your bags. DSS would have a nice foster home over in Brockton for him. He couldn't believe my reaction.
Definitely go on strike. If you've got cable internet, take the box to work with you, along with any converter boxes. As for not feeding them, there's food in the house, just don't cook for them. No laundry, either. If the 18 year old is out of high school, boot him right out the door. Neglect? Bullfeathers. Boys are tough if you haven't laid the groundwork with them. It was tough for me, here, as their father took off on us when they were 16 and 20 - the 20 year old (the previously mentioned 15 year old) was good and pretty helpful and understanding, but the 16 year old was tough. He's 23 now and has finally turned the corner. Stand firm with them, you aren't their friends, you're their parents!
Definitely go on strike. If you've got cable internet, take the box to work with you, along with any converter boxes. As for not feeding them, there's food in the house, just don't cook for them. No laundry, either. If the 18 year old is out of high school, boot him right out the door. Neglect? Bullfeathers. Boys are tough if you haven't laid the groundwork with them. It was tough for me, here, as their father took off on us when they were 16 and 20 - the 20 year old (the previously mentioned 15 year old) was good and pretty helpful and understanding, but the 16 year old was tough. He's 23 now and has finally turned the corner. Stand firm with them, you aren't their friends, you're their parents!
DH, are you sure you were in navy for 20 years?
You have to decide what is more important, your wife's feelings or getting your 2 boys to grow up. After dealing w/recruits you know what has to be done, do it. Deal with the consequences of your wife's anger at your handling the situation.
I agree this is a light hearted forum but a helpful hint, don't go on any forum, complaining about a problem, ask for suggestions, because you will get suggestions some of which may not be considered "kind".
You have to decide what is more important, your wife's feelings or getting your 2 boys to grow up. After dealing w/recruits you know what has to be done, do it. Deal with the consequences of your wife's anger at your handling the situation.
I agree this is a light hearted forum but a helpful hint, don't go on any forum, complaining about a problem, ask for suggestions, because you will get suggestions some of which may not be considered "kind".
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I don't think kicking an 18yr old out is neglect, but not feeding a 16yr old is, IMO. He's still a minor and still under your care. There are a lot of things I would agree with taking away from a child (and yes, at 16, he is still a child), but food is not one of them.
I don't think kicking an 18yr old out is neglect, but not feeding a 16yr old is, IMO. He's still a minor and still under your care. There are a lot of things I would agree with taking away from a child (and yes, at 16, he is still a child), but food is not one of them.
But it's not abuse to get rid of all junk food and sodas and really tasty food!
Bring on the broccoli, brussel sprouts and cauliflower! Yum yum AND healthy too. And how about some apples, bananas and oranges? Easy to fix and good for the body! See? The kiddies can fix that and a ham sandwich all by themselves leaving DW and DH free time to spend with each other. AND they can take the money they save on junk food and apply it to a nice dinner out for the two of them OR a lovely second honeymoon vacation.
I teach at the college level and this is the biggest problem we have with our students. There is an overwelming sense of entitlement. Most have no sense of personal responsibility and don't get me started on work ethic. It is never their fault when they fail my class. I have actually had them tell me that their generation has it harder than previous generations. When I finished snorting with laughter, I assigned an extra credit paper on that very topic. I told them I would make it easier on them and have them just go back to 1900. They had to include both World Wars, Vietnam, Korea, Equal Rights, Civil Rights, Women's Rights, the Depression... not a single kid did the paper. Sigh...
Bring on the broccoli, brussel sprouts and cauliflower! Yum yum AND healthy too. And how about some apples, bananas and oranges? Easy to fix and good for the body! See? The kiddies can fix that and a ham sandwich all by themselves leaving DW and DH free time to spend with each other. AND they can take the money they save on junk food and apply it to a nice dinner out for the two of them OR a lovely second honeymoon vacation.
I teach at the college level and this is the biggest problem we have with our students. There is an overwelming sense of entitlement. Most have no sense of personal responsibility and don't get me started on work ethic. It is never their fault when they fail my class. I have actually had them tell me that their generation has it harder than previous generations. When I finished snorting with laughter, I assigned an extra credit paper on that very topic. I told them I would make it easier on them and have them just go back to 1900. They had to include both World Wars, Vietnam, Korea, Equal Rights, Civil Rights, Women's Rights, the Depression... not a single kid did the paper. Sigh...
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Their behavior is much like a toddler so they should be treated as such. I have an 18 yr. old son who just graduated HS. He has a job, but I have now told him that he needs to make enough $ to pay his portion of car insurance or it's off the road. But I've had plenty of arguments with him. Thankfully he's never been that disrespectful to my face ( behind my back is probably a different story
) but at a certain age my kids understand that there are responsibilities that go with living in the human world.
So if he wants to do nothing but sleep, strip his bed off all bedding and make it unavailable to him.
Take any computer priveledges away even it means you can't be on it. Do whatever you can to make the things he does not so fun. If he hangs in his room all day, take all lights out or whatever.
You don't feed him, clean his clothes ( my son has been doing his own laundry since 6th grade ).
I will say this though from one Mom to another, my son is far from perfect, he still does a lot of crap I hate like leaving dishes all over the house and not washing, but honestly I would be concerned about this sleeping and disrespect. Could there be outside influences, and I hate to say it, but like drugs? It's something to think about.
Daughters are emotional and tend to be a handful from 12 to 16, boys kick in at around 16 till they leave home. Lazy creatures really. I wonder all the time how I created such lazy kids. I make them work, but they moan and groan the whole time. It drives me crazy.
Go on Strike, good plan but watch him closely too.
Good luck
So if he wants to do nothing but sleep, strip his bed off all bedding and make it unavailable to him.
Take any computer priveledges away even it means you can't be on it. Do whatever you can to make the things he does not so fun. If he hangs in his room all day, take all lights out or whatever.
You don't feed him, clean his clothes ( my son has been doing his own laundry since 6th grade ).
I will say this though from one Mom to another, my son is far from perfect, he still does a lot of crap I hate like leaving dishes all over the house and not washing, but honestly I would be concerned about this sleeping and disrespect. Could there be outside influences, and I hate to say it, but like drugs? It's something to think about.
Daughters are emotional and tend to be a handful from 12 to 16, boys kick in at around 16 till they leave home. Lazy creatures really. I wonder all the time how I created such lazy kids. I make them work, but they moan and groan the whole time. It drives me crazy.
Go on Strike, good plan but watch him closely too.
Good luck
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